Post # 31
Speaking for myself, I think it depends on who wore it. If it was my friend or family member, then I’d be fine with it and wouldn’t care. I tried on my sister’s ring, and she could try on mine no problem.
However, there is a woman who is friends with my FH, they dated briefly back in high school. I couldn’t care less about that – we’re all in our 30s now so it’s ancient history – but she has been weirdly standoffish to me and strange towards him (named her pet after him long after high school, among other things.) Although I’m always cordial to her when I see her since I respect she’s known my FH a long time, she’s definitely his friend and not mine. I think I would be pretty upset if he let her put my engagement ring on without even asking me first!
Post # 32
It wouldn’t bother me at all unless I thought the person trying it on would either steal it or damage it. It’s just a ring. I love it because I think it’s beautiful and because it marks our engagement, but it wouldn’t be any less special because someone else has tried it on. (But my ring was second hand anyway, so had been worn by someone else before it ever reached my finger, so maybe that gives me a different take on it)
Post # 33
There is an Irish tradition that female friends and family of the newly engaged try on the ring, twist it 3 times around their finger and make a wish. I have no problem with people trying my ring on, it’s a material object, it’s what it represents that matters.
Post # 34
This tradition actually sounds quite lovely to me!
@daxsymbiote: @echomomm: @ricli:
So I actually found the thread on Reddit and created a spinoff thread to see what the Bees thought about the situation, because I was surprised at how unified the responses on Reddit were
Post # 35
It wouldn’t bother me at all unless it was a stranger. I wouldn’t want them running away with it. It doesn’t take away anything from my marriage just because someone tried it on.
Post # 36
Sure! As long as they asked first, and didn’t run off with it once it was on their hand! I would feel odd giving it to someone else for more than a few minutes but a quick try on is fine.
Post # 37
In that specific Reddit situation, small group of close friends, I would not mind if I or my fiance gave permission to someone who asked. I would prefer to be the one who is asked for permission, but regardless, I would interpret it as a compliment. I think the larger issue in that scenario was he dismissed/belittled her feelings. If a stranger asked to try on my ring, I would (politely) decline though.
Post # 39
I let other woman try on my ring all the time. Or so it seems.
But thats usually because I like to try on rings myself!
If someone’s eyeing my ring, I offer them a try on. Not a total stranger but close enough to trust them with it. My massage therapist for example, or extended family circle, even co workers if it’s just for a moment, friends… I find that usually if I offer it the ring is treated like a hot potato and the person gives it back pretty quickly.
In general though, I would say that if the fiance was upset I doubt it was about the ring being on the finger of someone else but way deeper between the couple or even just fears within the individual themselves.
I don’t thing the ring is that actual problem in other words. Sounds more like a boundary/trust thing to me.
Post # 40
yep. If a friend asked,sure,but I would’t let a stranger.
Post # 41
No, I find it weird, my other rings and jewelry – maybe
Post # 42
I definitely would. I also think I have tried on most of my friend’s engagement rings. Whenever someone gets engaged the ring seems to get passed around. When my partner and I were looking for rings a bunch of my friends also offered to let me try theirs on again.
Post # 43
I have had several people close to me (mom, friends) try it on. As long as it’s someone I’m close with then why not? They’d let me try on theirs if I asked. I do think it’s weird when it’s someone you don’t know and you don’t offer.
Post # 45
Wow. I must say, it sounds totally over the top to consider it taboo for other women to as much as try on your ring. It doesn’t mean that the wearing of your ring means that she is going to marry your FH instead of you. I’m struggling to understand the “intimacy” some bees are referring to.