Would you let someone else try on your e-ring?

posted 3 months ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you let someone else try on your engagement ring?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 46
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee

    This is a bit tricky for me. And I feel a lot like OP does. If she wasn’t a close friend of mine, I’d be upset. Super upset! And might not want the ring anymore. But if we were close, and she wasn’t super friendly with my Fiance, than I’d have no problem with it 

    Post # 47
    Member
    1439 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I don’t think he meant any harm by it, but he probably should have asked first, that being said… maybe I am just too laid back …. I wouldn’t get all up in arms over this……………………..

    Post # 48
    Member
    3113 posts
    Sugar bee

    It wouldn’t bother me so long as it was someone I knew/trusted.  Like, I’m not going to let a stranger try on my ring, but a friend, coworker, etc? No problem.

    And.. I’d want it to be somewhere safe.  There was a reddit AITA recently about a woman who lost her engagemnt ring by dropping down an elevator shaft. Apparently, she took it off at just the wrong moment entering or exiting the elevator & dropped it. (Her fiance had previously decided against giving her the family heirloom ring as she had a history of being absent minded & not taking good care of her posessions. She was upset when she learned there was an heirloom ring and that he hadnt’ given it to her due to her past history.)

    Post # 49
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee

    Eh, I’m a little on the side of the bride here, ONLY in that, I would prefer I be asked permission so that I can be the one to hand it out for try-ons. Like, if I came out of the kitchen at a party and found the female guests trying on my clothes, I’d be a little ??? about it, lol. It’s one thing to be proud of my ring and *me* take it off so people can try it on, it’s slightly another for my husband to be still treating it as *our* property, I guess.(I’m also a third sibling, and having ownership boundaries as an adult is one of my favorite perks of being an adult, lol.) That said, I don’t think it’s some big hairy deal to make a scene about or anything. I’d just say privately afterward, “Hey, can you ask me next time? I feel unexpectedly weird about coming out and seeing that.”

    Post # 50
    Member
    947 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

    View original reply
    @skullybee:  Exactly!  Very well said

    Post # 51
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee

    View original reply
    @ricli:  I think the poll question is a different one from the referenced incident. “Would you let someone else try on your ring?” For sure! *I* absolutely would. I would pass that thing out like candy to my girlfriends over lunch. It’s platinum, and I love to let people feel the weight difference from other metals. I would not feel the same way about my husband passing out any of my jewelry–or hats, shoes, wedding dress–without my permission.  

    Post # 52
    Member
    754 posts
    Busy bee

    Huh, it never even OCCURED to me that it would be weird to let someone try on your engagement ring! I’ve let friends try mine on and didn’t really think about it. 

    But the situation you mentioned is a bit different – this is the male fiancé’s female friend that tried it on without her permission. Not her own friend asking her if she could try it on. It’s weird to try other people’s things on without their permission in general, plus the opposite sex friendship and symbolism of the ring make that whole situation pretty uncomfortable. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee

    So I received my wedding ring from Starsgem today at work (wanted it sent where I could sign for it).

    Tried it on in my office admired it. Put it back in the box, masked up and bee lined for my bosses office. She opened box, grabbed sanitizing spray, and put it on. 

    All I could think of was this thread haha. It obviously didn’t bother me at all, but there was no asking.

    Post # 54
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee

    of course! I’ve tried on a few of my friends and vice versa!

    Post # 55
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    There’s consent and then there’s whether the ring is too sacred for others to wear. Obviously no one should be handing out my stuff without my consent or ripping it off my hand. But no, it’s not like underwear, it can’t become tainted by someone else trying it on, and they’re not gonna steal my partner’s love from me by putting it on their ring finger. My only concern when I imagine a friend asking to try on my ring is it getting stuck because I have smaller than average fingers, lol.

    Post # 56
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2021

    One of my girlfriends was complaining about how uncomfortable her eternity band was and I let her try mine on (which I cannot feel, she takes hers off to drive) and I let a 17 year old who I am close with put it on just to see what a big diamond looked like on her hand. Neither made me uncomfortable at all. 

    it’s a little weird for someone’s fiancé to let someone try it on before it’s given to them though. 

    Post # 57
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m OK with close friends or my sister or mom trying it on if I were to let them or they asked me, but would not be OK with my husband letting people trying it on or people trying it on without me around. I wouldn’t make a scene, and I’d probably let it slide because I know there’d be no malicious intentions on my husband’s part, but it would annoy me. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2019 - Arlington, Virginia

    I have happily given people permission to try on my ring (because I love it and I want to give them an idea of what something similar might look like for them). However, even though I’m ok with it, I did have kind of a visceral reaction when, right after I got engaged, one of my friends picked it up without warning and tried it on while I was cooking. It has been two years and I still remember how it unexpectedly shocked me. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee

    Personally I wouldn’t mind if anyone tried on my engagement ring. Even if hubby was the one who gave permission (as far as I’m concerned, husband and wife is one unit). Yes a ring is symbolic of commitment and love.. but that’s all it is.. a symbolic object. What really matters is the relationship between the two people. Reminds me of the book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. Essentially the opposite sexes speaking different languages! What I’ve learnt from marriage is don’t sweat the small stuff 😀

    Post # 60
    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee

    I wouldn’t care. I’ve let friends try mine on and I’ve tried on my friend’s. In fact, I tried on my friend’s wedding band with my engagement ring to see if I’d like that style. 

    I know someone women do not like though. Right after college, I had a new group of friends and a couple had just been engaged. She had her ring off and was passing it around the girls. Not to try on, they were all just holding and looking at it. She made some comment about it (I don’t remember what) that offended her fiancée, so he snatched the ring back and said “fine if you don’t want it, I’ll give it to Jenn” and went to hand me the ring. Keep in mind, this was a new friend group, I didn’t know any of them that well. I just stood there awkwardly and was like “haha no thanks”. I will never forget that death glare she gave me. She didn’t like me for a looooong time (years) after that. 

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