(Closed) Would you let your mom officiate your wedding? (kind of long…)

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Honestly, no. I wouldn’t.

I think that this is one day where she just deserves to be “Mother of the Bride”. Her daughter’s wedding is something I think she needs to be totally present for, not stressing over officiating. She needs to be enjoying being in the moment, etc.

If it was a more distant relative, sure (my brother-in-law married us). But I think it’s just the wrong place for your mom. I think if I was a guest, I’d think more “that’s odd” than “that’s sweet”.

Just my $0.02! Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow, did you tell her your feelings about her refusing to walk you down the aisle? She should know that it really hurt you. That’s very sad.

About her officiating, I honestly think it’s a bit bizarre that she would even suggest that, given her stance on filling in for a role that traditionally belongs to someone else — it’s “not her place” to walk you down the aisle, but it’s totally her place to marry you and FI? Hmm.

I think since you’re already fairly hesitant about this, there’s a good chance you might regret it. I say no to mom officiating. You’re worried that it might be awkward… I’m almost positive it will be. It’s very, very unexpected and there will probably be some strange looks headed your way from more traditional family members. So if that’s something you’d like to avoid, I’d tell mom you’d much rather have her serve her role as mother of the bride and nothing more.

Post # 6
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@FloretteLiz: Oh my gosh, really sorry to hear she’s being so unreasonable. That’s really selfish of her to expect that you would instead ask her husband rather than the most prominant male figure in your life growing up. And even more inappropriate to tell you that your decision made them “disappointed.”

I’m really, really not digging her idea of wanting to get in the middle of your wedding now (as an officiant) when she’s already sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.

Post # 8
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@FloretteLiz: I suspected that your step-dad hadn’t been in your life as long as your grandpa. Your idea for a compromise is perfect. Don’t let her make you think otherwise.

I’m glad you’re deciding against letting her officiate. Given her recent behavior, it’s really “not her place.” 😉

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