(Closed) Would you let your three year old son wear a dress to a party?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Would you let your three year old son wear a dress to a party?

    Yes, I have no problem with this.

    No, I would not let my son wear a dress in public.

    Maybe, depending on the party.

    Other - please comment below

  • Post # 136
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee

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    princessandthepear:  

    What are you telling your child when you say “no you cant wear that” ? You are telling him that you dont fully accept all of him, you are making him doubt his decisions and what he feels he wants to be in that moment, you question his identity.

    I put the childs well being and development first. Them having a strong sense of self and identity is important. Its important for them to express their creativity.

    Despite my own discomort or embarassment, i would put my ego aside to allow my child to express themselves.

    Post # 137
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Yes of course! Gender isn’t defined by the clothes you wear, and it’s not as simple as ‘boy’ or ‘girl’. Children should be free to be who they are – if adults feel the need to make jokes it’s them who have a huge problem. 

    Post # 138
    Member
    892 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t want anyone wearing anything Elsa.  If I hear that song one more time I think I will rip my ears off.  My Mom bought a snowman mug today and I saw it was that one from Elsa.  I almost asked her to put it back but she’s 85 so I didn’t.

    Post # 139
    Member
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee

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    sunshineno5:  Exactly this. 

    Some of the most masculine sports I can think of are done in a kilt. 

    I’d love to see some of these posters go up to a dude throwing a 20 foot, almost 200kg log over his head and tell them they aren’t being “gender appropriate” because he’s wearing a skirt. WTF is that, anyway.

    Post # 140
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    View original reply
    sunshineno5:  You are correct, I am 40+  and yes, a generational thing.  I do not have grandkids yet but from the way I see it, I dont believe my kids would allow it either. 

    However, I would never make fun of a child who ‘s parents let them dress however they want. 

    Every household/family is different, and we are all entitled to our opinion.  As I was reading the entire board due to your picking certain people out and having to comment ,  then going on my profile,reading my posts and guessing my age, I thought you had better shit to do. So ya know what.. go do it, and then go buy an Elsa dress  and wear it down the street. 

    Post # 141
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    god help the poor children born to parents who think it is only okay to be themselves in the confines of their homes!

    Post # 142
    Member
    2864 posts
    Sugar bee

    I DO believe in gender roles.

    I DO believe obviously that some people will be transgender and I respect their decisions but overall and for the most part, I DO believe genders exist for a reason

    I DO believe that part of that existence is also expressed through clothing.

    Since I am the parent, I DO believe that my children have to be guided

    I would NOT let my son wear a dress because he is not a girl. I dont care if he’s three. I am the parent. I tell him what to wear.You wear a suit for an interview. Girls dress a certain way and boys dress a certain way and I have no problem owning that.

    The ONLY exception I would make is if I believe he has gendered issues and if that were the case, I would look into that and decide how to deal.

    I DO think its shitty that the adults at the party made fun of him.

     

    Post # 143
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee

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    Butterfly6:   Thank you for that, and thank you for having the beliefs as me.  Watch out for Sunshine05 because apparently they have issues with our way of thinking, and attacking many people on this post.  Hopefully they have  better shit to do today and someone closes this thread. 

    I would like to add so everyone knows as I said, yes im over 40 – I have adult children prob most your age on here, our generation has different beliefs and maybe some of you have the same as your parents.  And Im going to own it.  Thats my story and Im sticking to it. Im sick and tired of people being attacked on here for the way we think and /or were raised.  Just read it and move on if you dont like it.

    Post # 144
    Member
    2894 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    sunshineno5:  If part of being a parent is ‘knowing better and doing better’ then why not let your child know that what HE is doing is totally acceptable and be willing to shut down any negative comments?

    Because my children (intelligent as they are) had no way of emotionally processing that type of thing at three years old. If he were 5 or 7, we might be able to have a different type of conversation similar to the one you suggest. Also, I have 30+ years experience at being involuntarily “different” from what is considered normal and acceptable in many circles. It’s not as easy as some Bees have suggested for parents to just “shut down” any and all negative comments. And because I know first hand how certain social experiences can just pierce the through the soul of a young person during those formative years, I’m not going to willingly expose my child to that type of thing unless I’m sure that they are mature enough to properly handle the emotional side effects of the shaming and bullying that might ensue from their choices.

    Post # 145
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee

    No, I would not let my son wear a dress out in public. At home, sure. But not when we’re out. 

    Post # 146
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee

    Lol , some of yall try so hard.

     

    No I would not. Three year olds have a myriad of requests. I’m suppose to agree to all of them?

     

    Post # 147
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    jonescivil:   I wasnt tryin, but someone pissed me off and attacked all the people that said NO. 

    They have their own issues I guess.  LOL.

     

    Post # 148
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    No I wouldn’t, but those “adults” had no manners, who acts like that beyond jr. high, grade school even?

    Post # 149
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Perhaps this topic makes me a little sensitive because of the amount of compassion I have, and if I come off as a harsh bitch with this response, my apologies.

    That said, for those of you that say gender roles have been around “forever” and aren’t going anywhere… Shame on you. We can and we WILL change the future. I’m very proud of most of my generation for being so “tolerant” (I dislike that word, but I will use it to make my point), unlike many of our culturally conditioned elders who were biggots, racists, and homophobes. It begins with us to open our minds and change our own perceptions. As humans, we share 99.9% of our DNA. Regardless of what you look like, where you’re from, and whatever your taste is, we are all the same. We all have feelings, fears, hopes and dreams, and love in our heart. We are all one people. The sooner we start realizing that and respecting each ALWAYS, the better our future will be for our children.

    “Because the people crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” (SJ)

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by jenmet.
    • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by jenmet.
    Post # 150
    Member
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Elsa is Big in a 3 year olds world. Boys and girls all love Elsa, I mean I love Elsa and I don’t even have children in that age group (anymore) 

    I don’t see anything wrong with a little boy wearing an Elsa dress, but I do not think children should be taught that they can wear anything they want anywear. There is a place for play clothes it is at home, when you go out you should wear your street clothes not play clothes or PJ’s.

    However if he was at the party and someone had customes and he dressed up in the Elsa dress at the party, then that would be prefectly acceptable. But I don’t think their is a parent stupid enough to take out only one Elsa dress, haha The fighting for the Elsa dress would be crazy, No child wants to be Anna, Kristoff… Olaf on the other hand is one cool dude!

     

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