(Closed) Would you like this as a BM?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you prefer this in lieu of a traditional or any other BM gift?

    YES! I would appreciate not having to pay for hair/makeup and dress and love the convertible dress!

    NO, I'd rather pay for whatever dress (reusable or not) but have the bride get me a gift

    BOTH - don't want to pay for dress/hair/makeup AND want a gift!

    Other - please explain

  • Post # 32
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’d love it. I do think a thank you note would be nice tho 🙂

    Post # 33
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @TheFutureMrsCarness:  LOL!  I see we have had similar Bridesmaid or Best Man jewelry experiences!!!  You’re always like, “Oh thank you!  Hot pink plastic bead earrings with butternut squash yellow danglies…YAY.” Unless you have a boatload of hot pink and yellow outfits, this is not much of a gift!  🙂

    Post # 34
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Um, I think this is an AMAZING AMAZING OFFER!  Everyone always gives matching jewelry or some other low-cost trinket that often never again sees the light of day post-wedding.  If any bride I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for offered to buy my dress ALONE I would have rejoiced!  The fact that you’re talking about throwing in hair and makeup?  You are AWESOME.  I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 times and have always had to buy my own dress and shoes and do my own hair and makeup (one bride told me I could pay $90 (!!!!!!) bucks to get my makeup done professionally…um…after dropping $300 on a dress and shoes?  N’thanks!  I’ll do my own!) – it would be really cool if a bride bought any / all of that!  I love that you’re allowing them to wear whatever black shoes they want and whatever jewelry they want!  I always feel like a BM-bot wearing the same EVERYTHING except knickers as the other BMs!  I like that you’re allowing them to have some individuality.  You are one awesome bride!

    Post # 35
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    View original reply
    @simpleandchic:  No, being a bridesmaid isn’t a “gift” it’s an honour and a duty that should be rewarded. Rewarded, normally in the form of a gift. Yes, I expected to be rewarded especially if I put on a damn good bridal shower and stagette! Do you have to spend a small fortune? No, but flip flops, totes and earrings that suit your taste not mine isn’t really a reward. If money is tight it’s easy buy a $5 frame and develop a 4×6 and write me a note telling me why you love that photo of us.

    Post # 36
    Member
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Well I think after spending:

    • $450 per bridesmaid on the dresses, ($300 on the first dress they didn’t like, fair enough too it was a beautiful dress just didn’t suit them and $150 on the second).
    • Almost $180 on hair and make up each.
    • $100 on really nice jewlery they could (and have) worn again
    • Let them buy what ever neutral colour shoe they wanted 

    I didn’t have a shower 

    and I helped organise the hens, which really just involved booking a hotel for afternoon tea.

    I honestly dont think I needed to thank them with a $5 photo frame, I said thank you and gave them a hug. being a bridesmaid is not about getting presents.

    Post # 37
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    ^ you’re getting a bit off track with your personal experience vs. a general one.

    Post # 38
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    The dress is a great idea, and i was wondering, i was looking at henkaa dresses and would mind sharing where you’ll be purchasing the convertible dresses? 🙂 thanks.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I hate to say it, but I don’t really see that as a gift. Buying a dress you want the girls to wear and then paying for them to have their hair and makeup done for YOUR wedding really isn’t a “gift.” Especially when they will be spending lots of money on your shower, gift for said shower, bachelorette party, and wedding gift.

    I would at least get them something small to present them with at the rehearsal dinner.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think this is a fabulous idea, and I would like it much, much better as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Actually, this is much more common in my area. I never knew that most people have their bridal party pay for the dress, hair, and makeup (most at least pay for the dress and make hair/makeup optional) until coming to the bee. I’ve only known two brides who did that IRL. Most people do what you’re proposing, and some add a small gift (but you definitely don’t have too). 

    Post # 41
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think paying for the dress/hair/makeup is a good idea (being part of a bridal party is expensive and I’m sure they will appreciate the money saved, I wouldn’t be upset to get this as a gift if one of my friends decided to do it), but I would also add in something personal (maybe a note with a cute picture of you and each BM) just to show how much you appreciate them being part of your day.

    Post # 42
    Member
    23589 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    That is a fantastic gift!

    Post # 43
    Member
    2703 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

     I’m with

    View original reply
    @andielovesj:.  If it’s used for your wedding, then it’s not really for your BM; it’s for you and your vision – so I don’t think you can count it as a gift.  A Wedding Party gift is supposed to a thank you for that person for standing up with you on a very important occasion.  Also, if you are requiring hair and make-up (not sure if you would) then you should be paying it anyway.

    I voted both because if you do pay for their dresses and/or hair and makeup I don’t think you need to go all out on a Bridesmaid or Best Man gift and spend a ton of money.  However, I do think you should still get them something extra.  A nice picture frame, bottle of wine, etc.  Something personal for each girl and to her taste.  Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts don’t have to match!

    Now, if you asked your girls if they’d like to have dresses/hair and makeup paid for as their gift (as one PP did) and they said yes, then I think it would be be just fine.

     

    View original reply
    @simpleandchic:  So the honour of being someone’s bm isn’t gift enough you would expect a gift a big one no less if you had to buy your own dress…..sorry but I think that is poor form.

    I think you got that backwards: They are honoring you/doing you a favor by standing up with you.    Therefore, they should be thanked personally and accordingly.

    Post # 44
    Member
    2050 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @LilDrAnya:  That is very generous of you! I would consider giving something with a more personal touch, something that is small but also reflects your friendship. For instance, in addition to paying for their hair (they wanted to do their own makeup but didn’t want to fuss with their hair) and in addition to giving them jewelry sets for their dresses, I gave each of my gals a framed photo of a special memory we shared together, as well as a gift card to a local spa as thanks for all their hard work pampering me for the wedding — I wanted them to feel pampered, too! So, it was a nice balance of helping them address their wedding needs as well as thanking them for their friendship and something more personal.

    Post # 45
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’m glad to see this post come up…

    I was considering the same thing – just buying the dresses and paying for hair/make-up. But now I’ll be sure to also get a more personal gift as well, in light of some of the comments in here!

    Post # 46
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee

    @LilDrAnya:  When I was a bridesmaid in my first wedding the bride paid for us to have our make up and hair done and it was FABULOUS! We all felt so glamorous and everyone looks beautiful. It was definitely more than I could have ever done for myself and I think it made us feel awesome for her big day as well! We paid for our dresses (they were only $75 so it wasn’t that bad and they were lovely), but she also got us a nice pair of costume earrings, bracelet, martini glass with our initials on it and a little canvas tote with flipflops. I think it would be great to pay for the hair, makeup, and dresses and maybe just have something simple personalized like the cute little martini glasses she gave us. Definitely a thumbs up on the idea!

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