Post # 62
@This Time Round: I catch crap for mine but I’m a 40 year old with a promise ring (getting replaced later this month eeeeeeee!). We talked about marriage a year ago but it just wasn’t the right time. We’d only been together for a year, both had young children and his ex wife was still acting like she needed to be institutionalized). A year later it finally is the right time. But the (very nice, might I add) promise ring that came with a very earnest promise “to work through anything” has meant so much to me. I’ll just switch to my right hand next month.
Post # 63
I have a ring similar to this one with an emerald as well but not as an engagement ring. I would be disappointed if my SO proposed to me with that, but we have also been together for almost 3 years and he knows what I want. But if your friend thinks it is what his gf wants then he can go for it and let them decide.
Post # 64
Just no. If hubby proposed to me with that ring, I’d say yes, then we would need to have a talk on his jewelry taste.
tbh, I would prefer a plain silver band over that thing.
Post # 65
@MrsSnowMountain: Just curious, why don’t you think it doesn’t make sense for people who aren’t Irish to wear claddagh rings? I understand that it is a ring from a specific culture, but I’ve worn one for years because I loved the “love, loyalty, and friendship” symbolism. I think the meaning behind it is beautiful, and it is something I connected with for more than it’s looks. In my mind, that makes sense. I’m not trying to pick apart your personal opinion at all, just wondering if there is something about the ring that I don’t know about or understand.
OP, I think this ring is pretty. For me, it would be a right hand ring. But the girl may be Irish and love emeralds, in which case it would be perfect! When it comes down to it, it is his ring and his proposal. If he messes up, it isn’t your responsibility to fix it!
Post # 66
@spiffanee: I like the symbolism but to me it really doesn’t look like an engagement ring. If I saw someone wearing it I’d assume it was just another piece of jewellery. She may love it though.. but it is a pretty out there/unusual choice particularly given they haven’t been together very long (seems like a massive gamble to take unless she’s specifically stated she likes the style).
Agree with PP’s though, just wait and see if he asks your opinion, otherwise don’t worry. Hopefully they have a good enough relationship that should she not like it, she can change it 🙂
Post # 67
While I personally don’t like it I think maybe you should keep your opinion to yourself. The engagement ring should be a reflection of the couple and what they mean to each other and if that’s what he picked out to show his love for his soon to be fiance then that ring is perfect.
Post # 68
@spiffanee: He’s taking a big risk here. A proposal should never be unexpected, and IMO neither should your engagement ring. If the only opinion you ask for is your college friend’s SO then I think you’re doing something wrong.
I wouldn’t like that as an engagement ring, or to be proposed to suddenly out of the blue after only three months of dating. But maybe this girl will like that. Unless you’ve met her I guess there’s no way of knowing until he pops the question.
ETA: And I disagree with people basically stealing the traditional Irish claddagh ring and warping its meaning to suit them. Not okay.
Post # 69
@Pepperwoodsy: I’m sorry if that came out the wrong way! I guess I meant more that *I* would never wear one as an engagement ring specifically, because it makes me uncomfortable to wear jewelry or clothing from other cultures that are deeply meaningful for people of that background, but not as meaningful for me. If it’s just worn as a normal ring and not an engagement ring, that’s different too, because aren’t they traditionally engagement/wedding rings for people of Irish descent? It’s not logical, but I would feel as if I was appropriating a symbol that’s not mine to take. I’m not saying it’s wrong to do AT ALL, just that I personally would feel awkward doing it. However I think if someone has a really personal and meaningful connection to a symbol, as you seem to, and they have researched it and know EXACTLY what it means, then by all means wear it. But not just for how it looks… I totally agree 🙂
Post # 70
@MrsSnowMountain: What you said didn’t come out wrong at all! I was just wondering why you held that opinion. Thank you for explaining! You definitely have a point, and I think it’s wise to err on the side of caution when it comes to sensitive issues like cultural appropriation. I’m hispanic, and I got really upset this year when a girl I’m friends with got super into the iconography of Dia de los Muertos without appreciating or exploring any of the meaning behind it. She just thought the make up or the folk art were cool and trendy. I never considered that someone who was Irish might have similar feelings about me wearing my ring. It’s something to think about!
Post # 71
I think this is his issue to deal with and you shouldn’t worry about it. There are people in our lives who are in the position to give “real talk” at times like this, but given that you don’t know the girl and it sounds like this guy’s closer to your SO than you, I Think you should just let it be. If she doesn’t like it, I think that’s a sign he needs to get to know her better. Don’t feel bad about your reaction!
Post # 72
@spiffanee: (side thought) omg imagine she joins the bee and see’s This thread.
If he asked you for your opinion, I’d go back to him and say “now that I’ve thought about it this looks like a promise ring rather than an engagement ring ”
Then it’s up to him to ask for more advice.
Post # 73
I personally prefer something more classic, but I know at least two women who would be esctatic to recieve that ring!
Post # 74
@spiffanee: Personally, no, I don’t like it. I really love the symbolism and the cultural significance, but I’m not Irish so I’d feel a little like I was co-opting some other culture. Plus, without the cultural connection I just think the hands are weird. If he literally just got it because it happened to be her birthstone (not because she likes that sort of ring or is connected to her Irish heritage) I think the ring is a mistake.
Also, I think he might be rushing things. I mean, after 3 months I knew I wanted to marry Fiance and we had already started discussing marriage. But I had also spent just about every weekend with him our entire relationship and was basically moved in by then. If they are seeing each other rarely and haven’t actually discussed marriage I’d be very worried about her reaction to a proposal. Not only might she say no- his jumping the gun could kill the blossoming relationship.
Post # 75
As a girl with a green stone e-ring…eh that ring is ok. I feel like it’s kind of weird to wear such a cultural symbol if you are not part of that culture. If she is that’s great, but from what you’ve said we don’t know. I also agree that it’s a bit more promise ring-esque than engagment ring as well. I’ve seen some really gorgeous claddagh rings but that one just doesn’t look all that special to me. I would also worry a bit about the stone’s durability. E-rings are worn every day for decades and I’m just not sure that an emerald can stand up to that kind of wear which is why I personally went with a green sapphire.