would you make brownies for someone that asked?

posted 3 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts

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AnonBee2019 :  There really isn’t enough context to this –  but in my friend/family group, I’ve had people ask me to cook/bake a specific thing to a party. 

If this lady was as rude as the OP is making it out to be, then she probably should have just said something to her then.

Post # 32
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

What she asked and how she asked might have been rude, but you agreed to it. For you to go back on your word would make you no different from her – rude. Next time don’t agree to something you’re unwilling to follow through with. 

Post # 33
3249 posts
Sugar bee

I make brownies for people that ask all the time. Why would you say you’d do it for her birthday and then decide she’s being demanding weeks later?


It’s a bit petty and passive aggressive to make something different, or not make something at all. So, make the brownies, wish her a happy birthday, and don’t say you’ll do things so you don’t end up resenting the person later.

Post # 34
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

If it’s a one time thing and doesn’t happen all the time than I don’t think it’s rude. Plus she’s hosting and probably spending a lot of time on the rest of the food. (If this happens all the time I’d start suggesting alternatives) 

Post # 35
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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brightlite :  lol on opera cake..

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kobeandbubs :  just think it as compliments? She must think youre a good baker.. since brownies is on easy side, I’d just make it.

Post # 36
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Are you known for being a master baker? 

I think this really depends on your relationship. I can see asking this form one of my sister in laws but not from the other. But based on your reaction this is not normal for you so therefore it is rude.

Post # 37
1234 posts
Bumble bee

Well Darling Husband got told he’s making pavlova for Xmas cos he is known to make a good one. No one asked him per se. But then again they’re family so…

It’s her birthday, it’s xmas, and you said yes. So..I would just do it. If she regularly demands you to make stuff then that’s a different story and you can feel free to say no.

Post # 38
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If my SIL asked me this I would absolutely do it, no problem, and I wouldn’t think anything of it being rude or what not as we’re family.

Is there animosity between you both? Sounds like it.

I would just bake the brownies and let it go. Life is too short for this crap.

Post # 39
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

If my SIL was hosting a party and said – don’t get me anything but I was going to bake these brownies, why don’t you do that instead, I’d love it and it would be a huge help – then that would be lovely. 

If my SIL was having a Birthday and sent me a recipe of what she required me to make for said occasion she may shove her brownies where the sun don’t shine. 

It’s impossible to know which is the closest scenario here… 

Post # 40
1194 posts
Bumble bee

It seems a bit controlling that she selected the exact recipe for you to use lol. If that’s actually how it went down then I’d be side eyeing her big time. However, you agreed to do it, so I think you need to suck it up and do it. Next time she asks you to do something you’re not keen on, speak up in the moment.

Post # 41
391 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t take it as rude at all.  Sounds to me like you were with family, everyone was chatting, and it just popped into her head.  Really, take it as a compliment – she sees you as family and is comfortable enough with you to be suggesting this!

Besides, what could be more convenient to make than brownies?  

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