(Closed) Would you marry a guy who told you THIS:

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: If you were the girl, Would you marry a guy who told you this?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 137
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Porn is ok with me, and yes, I would still marry someone who said that.

    What worries me is what kind of illegal porn he was watching.. If he’s looking at bestiality or kiddie porn, HELL NO! That has nothing to do with what he said, I just wouldn’t want to be with someone who was into that. Ick.

    Post # 138
    Hostess
    8573 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    It depends how exactly it was illegal…

    If it has to do with being underage, then, um no. That’s sick and i’d be worried about our future children.

    Otherwise, I think men are men.. they watch porn. And depending on what type of porn he’s watching, [some men have rape fantasies, it doesnt mean they want to RAPE a woman, it just means they are turned on by it, taking advantage of someone. My fantasty is to be taken advantage of, so I don’t think it’s so weird].

     

    Post # 139
    Member
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    what’s the illegal?

    Post # 140
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    @poppygirl16:  Okay that makes a huge difference. This man is NOT a pedophile. He’s normal. Regardless of the type of “illegal” porn, so long as it featured sexually mature women, your friend doesn’t have anything to worry about. 

    If the issue is the ethics of the industry, as so many Bees are freaking out over, it seems like that has already been resolved. If she accepted his apology and remorse, and they’ve moved forward, then ya this is a non-issue.

    As for the porn in general and checking out other women, I stand by my original statement. Your friend has two choices: stay with her man, or find a liar. There is no third option, and women who claim their men are the exception are kidding themselves.

    View original reply
    @SeaSalt:  Okay, we will have to agree to disagree then. I think you are dead wrong, it is completely normal for a man be attracted to a fully developed woman regardless of her age. And obviously I am right, since most State governments agree with me.

    ETA, just to put things in perspective, here are some photos of 16 year old models:

    If the man in question was looking at photos like these, I’d say that’s pretty darn normal.

    Post # 141
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    @bebero: It appears that the OP doesn’t know exactly what the illegal porn was. But it featured fully sexually developed women who were underage. So it could have been a fashion magazine, for all we know. 

    Post # 142
    Member
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @valintine: Sorry, but those pictures are NOT pornography.

    Post # 143
    Member
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    View original reply
    @mcp3x:  Perhaps I didn’t clarify my post well enough. My statement was based on what several of my male friends and family have told me and what several relationship experts have said in the past. Every person is different and no behavior encompasses the entirety of a gender or species.

    My opinion is based on what the majority of men say about their feelings on sex. Every man I have talked to on the subject has said that they have watched porn or looked at sexual content. Many shows, books, studies, etc. by highly educated people and experts on the subject have shown that a very high majority of men have a purely physical response to sex and/or women, if they are not in a relationship with them.

    Obviously, every situation is different, but when I talked to my Fiance about the original post, he agreed with my opinion. He said that the man was tactless in his statement to the OP and may have underlying issues if he is looking at illegal porn or has an addiction, but that all of my FI’s friends/family/aquaintances/etc. have looked at porn, but usually don’t say anything in order to not hurt feelings, because it wasn’t anything but a way to get off and didn’t change their feelings towards their SO.

    As I said before, I agree that if the OP’s SO is into illegal porn or if the porn is affecting their relationship, then she should leave. Otherwise,perhaps it would be a good idea to take a step back and look at the situation in a new light. I’m sorry if I offended anyone. That certainly was not my intention, I was just stating my opinion.

    Post # 144
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    @SeaSalt:  That’s debatable. I think any image used for masturbation is functionally porn. If a guy says he never uses porn, but then wanks off to a Victoria’s Secret catalog, I say he is confused.

    Regardless of that debate, however, can you really argue it is perverse, or abnormal, for a man to find the 16 year old models in those images attractive? I think they’re pretty stinkin’ hot and I’m a straight woman, lol!

    Post # 145
    Member
    1782 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    The whole, “illegal kind” of porn statement is an absolute NO.

    Post # 146
    Member
    1768 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 1997

    No problem with porn, but child porn is unacceptable.  Those poor chldren are being exploited for people like him who enjoy looking at it. I would do more than run. I would report him to the police.

    Post # 147
    Member
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper

    All of these posts about how men are men and they all look at porn regardless of what they say are so gross. Talk about mysoginistic. No, not all men watch porn and lie about it. Some men just don’t watch it! Or may have in their younger single years and no longer do. The generalizations are obnoxious. Everyone has a different moral compass, and believe it or not, some men just don’t agree with porn, or don’t need it. 

    Post # 148
    Member
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Valintine: 

    “So I take issue on two of your points. One, I think you can be a sane person who is attracted to children, in the same way you can be sane and homosexual. You don’t have any control over your sexual preferences.”

     

     you may not be able to control what you find attractive. You may truly be born with a predisposition to a sexual attraction to children. BUT you need to control your response to those attractions. It’s not the same AT ALL as homosexuality, and trying to justify it as such is inflammatory and, frankly, insulting. In homosexual relationships, there is consent between partners. No one is a victim. In homosexual porn, the models/actors consent to creating the porn (except of course in the sex slave trade but that would go back to the “illegal porn” concept and, to me, would be equally immoral as child porn). A child CANNOT give consent. A child can’t even sign a contract to buy a car, rent a hotel room, or get a credit card. There’s no way for them to consent to being in a porno flick. Therefore, it’s not at all the same as viewing explicit images made by a same-sex couple who agreed to make the images.
     
    do not dare to correlate pedophelia with homosexuality, ever. 
     

    Post # 149
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Well…this thread is one huge mess. My understanding was that this involved illegal porn, but Bees are arguing about normal porn viewing habits….?? Totally confused.

    Post # 150
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    View original reply
    @fishbone:  +1

    Post # 151
    Member
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

     

    View original reply
    @mcp3x: 

    +1!!

    View original reply
    @Cady: 

     Well, this thread is one huge mess. My understanding was that this involved illegal porn, but Bees are arguing about normal porn viewing habits….?? Totally confused.

    Seriously!  A Bee posts a thread about her fiance who is into ILLEGAL PORN (all bold and caps and repeated for the hundredth time for people who apparently can’t read and need that extra emphasis) and then one after another, the peanut gallery rides in on their high horses:

    Hey, people, I’ve got news for you. Men are visual creatures and they like to look at porn. OP, you need to lighten up and leave your man alone. Now if he’s watching something that involves children, then of course I might think differently. But porn is a normal activity for most men! Everyone needs to stop being so judgmental! OP, you should give your SO another chance!

    Wow, just wow.

     

    If someone posted a thread asking for help because her Fiance was addicted to porn involving donkeys and babies, I wonder how many people would completely skip the part about donkeys and babies and start piling on with their theories about how porn is a normal and healthy part of life. It’s really kind of funny!

     

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