Post # 1

Member
28 posts
Newbee
The thought never came up before, but recently after speaking to a few people. I’ve started to have thoughts. My question is would you marry someone who you’ve never slept with in bed? And if yes, and when the night comes if you discover he’s awful, would that change your relationship?
Post # 3

Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
I wouldn’t because I’d want to have sex sooner than I’ve want to get married (a few weeks/months versus a few years).
Post # 4

Member
339 posts
Helper bee
i married a guy I’d NEVER slept with, or gone any farther than make out with. I consider it a fabulous decision and our post-marital sex lives are great 🙂
Awful sex wouldn’t change my decision, though. I don’t really think it could be awful as long as it was someone I loved and was married too; sex doesn’t work like that for me.
Post # 5

Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
For me personally? No, I wouldn’t. Though, it does work for other couples and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. If it’s not good at first, well you can learn together.
Post # 6

Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
Knowing me, I probably wouldn’t. I can never wait for something like that.
Post # 7

Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
Well, no. But only because I’ve slept with Fiance.
However, had we both made the decision not to sleep together until the night of the wedding, would I still have married him? Of course. I am marrying him because I love him, not his sexual abilities (I consider that a bonus.
)
However, it is nice to know what I am marrying BEFORE I marry him; If I married him without sex prior and he ended up being not-so-great at it, I would probably feel a little saddened. Sure, sex isn’t the most important thing, but it is a great factor in a relationship and if the sex isn’t as good, then it DOES strain a relationship.
Post # 8

Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
you should add a poll!!!
I would not wait, and i would find it odd if i guy wanted to, it wold make me worry about why he wanted to wait and wonder if something was wrong, b/c guys just arent programed that way. and if the sex was really bad forever then it would REALLY suck, that can and will hurt a relationship
hopefuly if its bad then it will get better, but if it never does then that sucks you have already said I DO
Post # 9

Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
No, but I wasn’t a virgin when I got married so I wasn’t waiting for that special moment. As someone who has been sexually active that wasn’t a question for me. Sexual incompatability can hinder or even destroy a relationship. In My Humble Opinion it is best to know what you are getting into beforehand.
Post # 10

Member
71 posts
Worker bee
What @Storm0075 said.
Being sexually compatible is essential to the health of a relationship. Of course, it’s not everything, but it can so very easily derail a relationship if it’s not there.
Post # 11

Member
325 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: June 2013 - Piney River Ranch
It’s really a personal choice, but for me, I definitely would not. I like to know what I’m getting into 100%.
Post # 12

Member
28 posts
Newbee
@Future Mrs K: Great idea! I just did.
Post # 13

Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
Nope, nope, nope. As bad as this sounds, i’ve slept with enough people to know that there are just some men who are NOT teachable.
Post # 14

Member
811 posts
Busy bee
Maybe if I were still a virgin, I could marry before sex, but it’s too late now, I’ve had dong and I know how important good sex is.
Post # 15

Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Sexual attraction and compatability really is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship through your active years. You are taking a risk if you haven’t tested that compatability. For some, that risk is worth it, but not for me. I think it’s pretty naive to think that you’ll enjoy the se with someone no matter what just because you love them and are committed to them. And, if you read through some of the boards on here, reality seems to show that to be the case.