My Fiance and I will have been together over 3 years by the time we are married and we have never had sex with each other. And if the sex sucks after marriage? The worst that will happen is that our relationship will continue on the same as it has the past three years, and I will be MORE than happy with that. Also, I’d like to throw in that I am absolutely CONVINCED that HAD we had sex in the beginning of our relationship, around the time when many people do, we most likely would not be getting married three years later. Our relationship was very rocky at first and sex would have just added an extra complication that wouldn’t have helped.
Also, (and I’m sort of suprised that noone has mentioned this), just because two people haven’t had intercourse, doesn’t neccesarily mean that they don’t know whether theyre sexually compatible. There’s lots of other things you can do besides straight up sex. Would I marry someone that I haven’t done ANYTHING with? Maybe not. But there are other things you can do with each other, and even if the sex part doesnt turn out to be ideal, you at least know you have other options for intimacy.
And this is not at ALL meant to attack the person who said this, because I do respect everyones opinions on the matter, and I believe eveyone has the right to believe what they want, but I find the whole “if you’re saving yourself, it seems juvenile” stance to be kind of offensive. Just because one person has chosen to have sex, doesn’t mean that that person has the right to look at another person as being juvenile for making a different decision. The fact that it factored into your relationship is understandable, you both had different standpoints and goals and of course there’s going to be issues there. But I am almost 30 years old and I consider myself to be a full grown adult, and when my various partners have complained that I still act like I’m in junior high because of the no sex thing, it’s been very VERY hurtful to me. I’ve gone through a lot of hard things, heard a lot of harsh words, and gone through a lot of bad breakups over me saving myself, and I don’t think my decision should be trivialised by being called juvenile.
Obviously, it touches a nerve with me, and I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m on some sort of soap box, or if I’m trying to start a fight (which I’m not!). I just wanted to point out that we all choose different paths in life, and I think people should be a little more sensitive to other’s opinions and viewpoints. If it doesn’t work for your life, by all means, don’t include it! But no need to judge other’s anyway.
Sorry, this has gotten so long, I’ll shut up now >.<