(Closed) Would you marry a guy you've never slept with?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you marry someone that you haven't slept with in bed?
    No, I want to know what I'm marrying. : (141 votes)
    36 %
    Yes, meaningful relationships are based on factors other than sex. : (99 votes)
    25 %
    No, sexual experience is important for fulfilling married life. : (131 votes)
    34 %
    Yes, it's more meaningful when the relationship is pure. : (20 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    5543 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Yep. I did and Darling Husband and I still manange to have a wonderful sex life. No bad things to compare, and never have to think about my husband doing the amazing things we do with each other with some other random chick.

    Post # 48
    Member
    2980 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    No, I wouldn’t. Sexual compatibility is a big deal in a healthy relationship for me, so I’d want to make sure that chemistry was there before I married him.

    Post # 49
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I am w/  @Paigey:  on this…if I never had it, then I could wait b/c I wouldn’t be disappointed with something I’ve never experienced before…that being said, I’ve had sex with some good ones, some DAMN good ones, and some bad ones, and although not the most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever experienced, my FI is certainly the freakiest (good freaky) and this makes me happy:) 

    Post # 50
    Member
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    No I wouldn’t. I can see not living together but sex it too important in compatibility to leave it out the decision-making process.

     

    I think times have changed and much of the reasoning behind waiting for marriage was the lack of good birth control and the fact that there was a stigma attached to pre-marital pregnancy. Women have choices and choosing a good sexual partner for marriage is one of them. I agree with the pp who said some menare NOT trainable! 

    Post # 51
    Member
    11268 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i wouldn’t buy a car without a good test drive and looking under the hood.

     

    intimacy and sex are important to me in a relationship.  i need to know that we are compatible in this area.  really, it’s no different than making sure you are compatible in other areas of a relationship.

    cats or dogs

    romantic comedy or thriller

    top or bottom

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes, and I am for personal/religious reasons. However, I know that it’s going to take quite a bit of getting used to and it’s not going to be like in the movies. I’m not nervous about it, and we have definitely discussed sex so it’s not something that has been ignored in the relationship.

    I can completely understand why someone would not want to wait–it’s a big part of the relationship and it’s something that needs to be explored (in our case just discussed) before you make a commitment. But it’s actually pretty offensive to say that it’s “foolish” or a bad idea for someone to wait till marriage. Just like I wouldn’t say that it’s “foolish” to not wait for marriage, because it’s such a personal decision and different for everyone.

    I guess what I am saying is, if you say that waiting was not the best decision for you, awesome, but please don’t say that it’s a bad idea for everyone, because that sounds a lot like criticizing someone else’s personal decisions. 🙂

    Post # 54
    Member
    1585 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Not a chance. And it isn’t because I sleep around! When you marry someone, you are promising yourself to them for life. Mind, body, spirit. To get married to someone and not know if you are compatible on that level is a massive gamble. Sometimes it works out and that is wonderful. But what if it doesn’t? 

    This is the same way I feel about living with your future partner. You need to know everything about him/her regardless of how it makes them look. Do they put down the seat? Do the dishes? Leave crap lying around? Snore? Can they not sleep without the TV on? Having a drawer or staying over for long weekends is NOT the same as living with someone day in and day out and learning all of their annoying quirks. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We waited until we were married. I believe there is so much more to marriage than sex, although sex is important too. I refuse to believe that, if you are marrying your best friend, the sex could ever be irreparably bad. Sex is something that you work at together, learning and growing with time. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @RapunzelRapunzel:  

    @hisgoosiegirl:  

    I agree with both of you.

    Darling Husband and I waited until marriage and it’s worked out great for us. I was 17 when we started dating and aside from wanting to wait for marriage, I didn’t feel ready for sex anyway… by the time I did feel like I could be ready, I had been dating Darling Husband long enough to know he was the one I wanted to spend my life with, and even terrible sex couldn’t have changed that- for me personally, our emotional connection is more important. I think people that do find sex important make sure to have that part of the relationship almost as early as the emotional part. Nothing wrong with either way, it’s just about how you approach the relationship from the beginning. I think it just depends on the individual.

    Post # 58
    Member
    2067 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @hisgoosiegirl:  Agreed!

    Darling Husband and I waited… We were both virgins when we got married and we have a wonderful marriage and relationship 🙂

    Post # 59
    Member
    2067 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @chasesgirl:  Exactly!!

    Post # 61
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m going to. SO and I haven’t done the do yet.

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