- 5 years ago
- Wedding: City, State
I personally wouldn’t. I’d be absolutely crushed by their action. We have a family friend who’s husband was a serial cheater. He cheated multiple times before the wedding and she got married to him thinking he would change, which he obviously didn’t. They’re divorced now.
On the other hand, my dad cheated on my mom when they were dating in their early 20’s. They broke up for a while because of it, and then started dating again and got married a little later. They’ve been married for 23 years and are very much in love and as far as I know, he has not cheated on her since they’ve been married.
Personally, no, I never would.
To each their own. Personally I probably couldn’t however my ex-husband married the girl that he cheated on me with and now they’re having a baby 4 years later. Whatever works for your friend I hope she finds happiness
I think it depends on the situation. My ex cheated on me after almost 4 years together, and while the relationship ultimately didn’t work out we did both want to try and work it out at the time. I always thought that infidelity was an automatic deal breaker for me, until I was in that position and had to actually live it.
No. Not marry them. But also not even date that person either. Do people not have any self respect?!
Fiance and I have discussed infidelity and ways we can avoid situations that could lead to temptation and making a mistake. We have both agreed we would not tolerate cheating. As distressing and heartbreaking as it would be, I would leave and move on. With the amount we have discussed it, it would have to be a pretty deliberate choice to cheat from either one of us. I would know I need to move on.
Nope, not a chance.
If something happened YEARS into marriage, then maybe it would be worh working through, but if they didn’t love me enough prior to marriage not to stick their dick elsewhere, then that to me is a clear cut sign it’s never going to work.
My friend has been cheated on three times by her husband. Clearly he hasn’t learned nor cares to stop. She doesnt trust him, and why should she?
Personally, no not a chance and I do have a personal story. I was engaged to a man when in my early 20’s and I found out he cheated on me the first couple of months of our dating while we were in separate states with a girl a few times involving sexual actions other than intercourse. We were supposed to be exclusive. He was in his late 20’s. We were engaged when I found out almost 2 years after it happened. I left him. He wanted to work through it with counseling and the whole 9 yards, my friends didn’t understand my decision, his family thought I was completely nuts, but I couldn’t shake my gut feeling of “LEAVE.” All the other aspects of our relationship were great and he hadn’t seen or spoken to that other girl from all those years ago when it happened so there wasn’t a threat … I just couldn’t do it.
He moved on within a few years and married a really nice girl I worked with (big hospital so it wasn’t weird like we had to see each other or anything). They got married inside of 2 years and were together for 10 years total in what appeared to be bliss. But guess what? He freaking had an affair with her coworker after a decade of being faithful.
Now, I am not saying “once a cheater always a cheater” but I will say “once a cheater always without me” I’m not going to wonder. You have my trust until, well, you don’t then why would I bother especially if we aren’t married I feel I have an easy out. Now, to each their own but I just can’t do it.
It always depends on the situation and this is coming from someone who has gone through this. When I first started dating my fiance, he was upset and got himself very drunk one night made a poor decision that truly meant nothing to him. It was very upsetting for me at the time, but it didn’t happen because he loved someone else.. and he didn’t have some huge affair! He just made one extremely poor decision. Years later, we are the happiest we’ve ever been and will be married in a year! And I’m definitely not ashamed for being with him. He is an incredible person, very trustworthy, and I couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else. He had some serious growing up to do and he did just that! People make dumb decisions but can definitely grow up and learn from their poor choices. It definitely doesn’t mean a relationship is doomed. 🙂 People should just do what makes them happy, besides.. I really can’t judge what anyone does because I don’t know the whole story.
Err I’ll put myself in the ‘it depends’ camp. If Fiance had drunkenly kissed someone in the beginning of our relationship and was truly, truly sorry and told me about it BEFORE I found anything out myself, then I’d probably be able to get past it. But a full blown affair? Hell no, never. Nothing can excuse a consciously made decision like that. Affairs would – I imagine – require quite a lot of thought and planning, as well as deliberate deception, none of which would be ok in my book (nor FIs). That is just so disrespectful.
That being said, after EVERY one of my ex-BFs cheated on me in one way or another I have a serious paranoia of drinking and forgetting that I did something wrong. Which is daft, because I’d rather cut off my own hand with a butterknife, and I don’t drink to excess OR have ever even ‘blacked out’. But yea, being cheated on can do some serious psychological damage.
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