(Closed) Would you move into the family home your partner grew up in?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 16
1054 posts
Bumble bee

Meh. Probably not but I don’t know. We will have that option eventually, as FI’s parents have already said the house is his. I’ve told him that I have no interest living in the city where he grew up. If it weren’t for that, I still don’t know how I’d feel about it. I’d rather have our own place, and I’d worry about never feeling like it was MINE, you know? And I’d worry he’d want to keep everything the same because that’s how he’s known it his whole life. It could just get weird. But at the same time, free house. A nice one, too. 

Post # 17
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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Mlim:  My brother, his wife, and their three kids currently live in the house we grew up in. My mom has moved out completely, and my dad lived in the unattached Mother-In-Law Suite. They hit major financial troubles and my dad agreed to let them live there rent free for a year in order to get things straight and to save up. It’s not ideal, but it works.

Post # 18
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

DH’s parents sold the house he grew up in right after our engagement party. All 3 of their children had left the state and none plan to ever move back, so they moved to where their eldest lives.

It was a lovely house in a beautiful neighborhood, but frankly I’m not really interested in living anywhere other than California long term. If it was in CA, hell yeah I’d live there, not too concerned about who technically owns it because generally my inlaws are really considerate people.

My sister and her now husband lived in my parents house (which I grew up in), with my parents, for like 5 years. They had both just been let go from their jobs when he moved in, but they went back to school, worked, and gradually got back on their feet. And his kids came over every other weekend for most of that. I don’t know how they all stayed sane. My sister wants to live there again when my parents move out or maybe sooner to help out, but my parents are only in their 50s so they’ll hopefully be independent and healthy for a long time.

Post # 19
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My husband grew up in Savannah, GA, and his childhood home was gorgeous. Old plantation style home with trees covered in Spanish moss…I would love to live there! Plus, his parents don’t own it anymore. I would only live in a home that was under our names…no strings attached by family, thanks!

Post # 20
6804 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If it became my home, then I’d have no problem with it.  I would change the locks though!  

If it was his mom’s home that I got to use, then not so much.  I’d feel guilty personalizing it and I wouldn’t want to share with the latest divorcee who needs a place to crash.  I’d only do that if it was temporary – waiting for a real house to come on the market or be closed on, refurbishing, things like that.  But I’d feel more like I was staying in a hotel or rental than in my own home.

Post # 21
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No, I’d want a house to call our very own, a fresh start.

Post # 22
10687 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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aussiemum1248:   Yes, this entirely . No way on earth I’d  move into a what was  essentially someone else’s ( let alone inlaws)   house that still had  they had rights in .

Maybe  there is no chance of them exercising   those  rights when all is going  well, but  what if there is a serious  dispute of some  sort?  Or what if you want  to knock  two rooms into one ?

No,no, no. Not for me .

Post # 23
1650 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t see a problem with it, as a matter of fact I’m considering selling my house to my son and his Fiance, their wedding is in AUG.  the house was all re- done a few years ago ( Windows, doors, new siding, bathrooms, kitchen. ) Only 2 keys for the front door.  They would have the two, and of course the privacy of my children is well respected. I think you should  rest your negative thoughts. 

Post # 25
11515 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Mlim:  In that case – no.

In our specific case – no.  His parents home I would never buy.  That said if the house was different and we were purchasing the home maybe I’d consider it but it would be OUR house. New locks new rules.

Post # 26
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Oh absolutely not. My Mother-In-Law likes to test boundaries (out of love) and I just know if we moved into the house she lived in for 21 years, there would be no boundaries at all.

Post # 27
4232 posts
Honey bee

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I would move into “the family home” if it was a mutually beneficial situation. What you’ve described doesn’t sound beneficial.



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