Post # 1
I was married for 25 years & gave up my teaching career to stay home & raise children. Part of the divorce settlement was maintenance (alimony) at $475/mo until my daughter reaches 19 (another 3 yrs). The ex wanted to take that away because BF & I lived together and we went to court last year over it – I won. Since then I’ve become engaged and we’re getting married this July. I’ll lose $475/mo. Would you still get married if it meant losing money each month? Would you wait? Just curious. Not sure where to post this…opting for the Hive…sorry if it should go somewhere else 🙂
Post # 3
i wouldn’t wait. but i do want to get married sooner so if i die my ex won’t get my ss payments. lol
Post # 4
It not even that much money, and I wouldn’t put my life on hold over it.
Post # 5
i think its wrong–divorce people sould not be maintain by an ex if they are in a fully happy relationship that is going to become a marriage/or extremely long term…
Post # 6
Post # 7
@lorie: Don’t you have a job now? That doesn’t sound like much money to make plans around.
Post # 8
Why you’re still collecting alimony is beyond me. You’re obviously in a relationship where someone is making money to live on so your ex shouldn’t have to support you any longer. I’m not even sure how you won that case. Regardless, I would never postpone marrying someone I love because of $475 p/month (which really isn’t very much money when you think about it).
Post # 9
I wouldn’t wait for that little amount of money. I probably wouldn’t wait for any amount of money honestly. If you’re in love, then you should go ahead and get married.
Post # 10
I cant even believe this is a question.
Post # 11
@asianyoushi: I agree. Totally wrong.
@UpstateCait: I don’t really understand why it works this way but I know someone who has been paying child support for 8 year while his ex is supported by someone else. It’s a messed up system.
Post # 12
@Ms. Martian: Alimony is different from child support. Child support is to support your child so whether or not an ex spouse is now being supported by someone else should not have any bearing on whether or not you should still have to pay to support YOUR own child. Your spouse’s new mate should not have to support a child that isn’t theirs in lieu of their biological parent’s support. Alimony is usually paid to make up for wages lost by a spouse who gave up their earning potential to stay home and care for the couple’s children, usually a decision they made together because it was most beneficial to the entire family. Even if the former stay at home spouse was to return to work after the divorce, their time away from the work force will definately affect their current earning ability and they should be compensated for that.
@lorie: Can you afford to lose the income or would it make things significantly more difficult for you? Also, you need to take into consideration the legal and financial benefits of marrying your new spouse. Possible tax incentives (especially if you’re not working), health insurance benefits, etc, may out weigh the financial benefit of keeping your alimony. Best of luck!
Post # 13
AGTbee beat me to it. Child support is totally something you pay until your child is an adult no matter what the situation.
That said, I don’t think your ex husband owes you anything at this point…especially when we’re only talking about less than $500/month. I know that money is money, but to put your life on hold over something like that just seems vindictive to me. Get a part time job…there’s your $475.
Post # 14
The alimony is there because you NEED it for you and your child to maintain a lifestyle, not as a paycheck so it sounds like you definetely don’t need it to live off of then give it up! If my Fi said he wanted to postpone the wedding so he could get a check from his ex that MIGHT be a dealbreaker for me lol!
Post # 15
@Angelz_love: Alimony is not for the kid. Child support is for the child. Alimony is basically spousal support.
Post # 16
In almost all cases, I would say remarry. However, I have a friend whose husband passed away overseas and she’ll receive quite bit a bit of money and benefits for the rest of her life if she does not remarry. She and her new “husband” are having a ceremony, but will be completing no paperwork. I completely support her decision.