(Closed) would you pass your non diamond as a diamond?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you ever try to 'pass' your stone as a diamond?

    Yes, I would totally tell people my stone is a diamond and not give it a second thought.

    No, I would never ever 'pass' my non diamond as a diamond.

  • Post # 46
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: A very pretty church.

    I suspect that many of the Bees outraged by the idea of “passing off” another diamond like stone for a diamond (let’s face it, mostly people will just assume a colourless stone is a diamond, unless they’ve done plenty of research recently), are outraged because something that is special to you can only be really special if everyone else thinks it’s special too. What if you (or your SO) spent all that money to get a your special ring, and someone else gets the same compliments and social kudos for something cheaper (and thus less special) …oh noes! Gigantic resounding ‘meh’.

    FTR – I have a diamond, if my partner had suggested a Moissanite I would have been super impressed, he isn’t interested in this stuff. It would have shown he’d done lots of research, lol.

    Post # 47
    Member
    5217 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I understand not feeling the need to correct strangers or casual acquaintances about what type pf stone you have in passing. I don’t understand lying to people in your circle about it. I wouldn’t judge someone for having a non diamond stone. I would totally judge them for lying to me about it(people in my circle, if I’m a stranger or casual acquaintance to you, you don’t owe me an explanation). It just seems very shallow. It would be like me lying to people about the carat size of my stone, saying it’s a .3 carat instead of a .25. Most people wouldn’t really be able to know for sure, but what is the point? I adore my ring and have nothing to prove to anyone. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    9119 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    Bridey77:  This exactly.

    If you lie to me about something so trival as a piece of jewellery it will make me wonder what else you are lying to me about.

    Post # 49
    Member
    5217 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    Taiki:  +1, I think you nailed it. With all the diamond alternatives out there, not to mention the press about blood diamonds, diamonds themselves are starting to lose their prestige a bit. 

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    j_jaye:  For sure!

    Post # 50
    Member
    8437 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t understand lying to people in your circle about it.

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    Bridey77:  Apparently some people feel the need to though.  Honestly, I don’t understand why people would choose to surround themselves with people that would judge them (I wouldn’t be able to deal with it), but I guess it’s one of those “to each their own” type situations.

    Post # 51
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: A very pretty church.

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    Bridey77:  I find lying really difficult, so I couldn’t, but that’s not really a virtue so much as a social failing (eg. also bad at feigning excitement or interest…this is also ‘lying’, I am not good at that either), so if I have a Moissanite and someone asked the following “Is that real?”, I would probably say “no”, because I would assume they thought it was a diamond and feel oddly compelled to divulge everything! Someone with more social ease could say “yes”, and why not? It is a real stone, it is not a diamond, but that wasn’t explicitly asked…I wish I were better at that sort of thing.

    Outright lying to your nearest and dearest seems weird to me, but it would depend on them I guess. If I had relatives who would make a big deal about my ring not being “real” (eg. talking ‘trash’ about my partner) I would probably try to pass it off rather than have WWIII over it (I would defend my fiance to the death, so that would not go well!). ‘Luckily’ my family range from the reasonable to the irritatingly cheap 😛

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by  Taiki.
    Post # 52
    Member
    6518 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    chica95110:  For the record, I have a diamond engagement ring bc thats what I like.

    If I didn’t have a diamond and had something like a CZ or moissy or any clear stone-I would NOT lie and say its a diamond. I think people that do that are embarassed that its not a diamond.

    I would also not go around saying its a moissy/CZ/etc, nor would i go around saying its a diamond. If people want to know what kind of stone you have, they will ask. But like PP stated, i think a lot of people assume that anything clear is a diamond.

     

    Post # 53
    Member
    5217 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    housebee: If someone feels the need to lie to me about something so trivial, then I probably shouldn’t be in their inner circle anyway.

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    Taiki:  You have a point there. There is a difference between that and lying because you feel like you need to have a certain type of status symbol though. I cannot stand pretentious people. As far as your social issue with lying goes, I actually love people who are blunt like that. They are just refreshing to be around.

    Post # 54
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee

    I have a moissy. I don’t pass it off. I get tons of compliments and I sometimes say “thanks, it’s a moissanite!”, because I want people to know there are lovely, socially responsible options. Other times, I just say “thank you” because my e-ring came with a vow of forever with my Fiance not a blood oath to extol the virtues of moissanite.

    I don’t understand why this question comes up so often on these boards or why anyone cares. I think it’s hilarious that people really act like passing off a ring is a character issue. I would assume if someone is passing their stone they don’t want to deal with judgment and misplaced superiority from people who have bought into 70+ years of diamond cartel marketing. After reading some threads on the bee, who can really blame them?  I also don’t think it means they are not proud of their rings. I have a mouth full of veneers, which I saved for 4 years during undergrad to buy myself, and I am very proud of it but I do not say “thanks it cost 35k” everytime someone says “great smile”. I am very proud of my body and I work out 8-10 hours a week to maintain my hourglass figure but when someone says “great body” I say “thank you” rather than “oh it’s 40 hours a month of squats, planks and lifting”.  A compliment doesn’t mean someone is asking for all of that. And if they are asking, so what? Another person’s questions, comments, concerns or compliments does not entitle them to unadulterated access into my, or anyone else’s, life. I focus on watering the grass in my garden and so I’m not concerned about how someone else takes care of theirs.

    View original reply
    chica95110:  BE HONEST: Are you worried that people will see someone’s gorgeous, sparkly, white moissanite and find it more beautiful than your diamond? Are you worried that another white/clear stone being valued or complimented makes your diamond less “ahhhhhmazing”? When people compliment your ring do you say “thank you” or do you list the price and specs of your ring? If you don’t list your specs when complimented why do you think owners of other stones should?

    Post # 55
    Member
    481 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My engagement ring is moissanite, and I’ve never had anyone ask me if it’s diamond or “real” or anything along those lines.

    I’ve gotten complimented on it, and I graciously thanked the person and moved on with the conversation. I told my sister and friends that it’s moissanite, but I don’t feel like I hide anything from anyone. If someone asked about my ring in a genuine, not-rude way, I’d tell them that it’s moissanite and I picked it myself for xyz reasons vs diamond or any other stone.

    If someone was rude about it, I’d tell them to mind their own business.

     

    Post # 56
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee

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    MissSweetiepie:  I don’t care either way, whether someone lied or not, I have a diamond (smallish) and think Moissy’s are beautiful. however, don’t you think your reasoning is perpetuating the issue you speak of in point B? people are horrible, and judge because society gives them a reason to. If more people were honest, and proud (just like someone saying ‘ohh your emerald is gorgeous’ and one responding with ‘it’s actually a sapphire ‘- I use this eg as just like not knowing of moisanaite until the Bee, I didn’t realise sapphires came in any colour but dark blue) , the world would be more educated and realise that the two stones are completely different and can stand their own for different reasons and this removing this judgement and comparison… Not sure if my explanation came across clearly, sorry 

    Post # 57
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’ve never heard of these different gems until this board (and then quickly googled!) 

    my proposal was a complete and utter surprise and I didn’t pick the ring, however after seeing a documentary on man-made diamonds I was set that that’s what I’d want if I ever bought diamonds. 

    i later found out that my diamond was not man made – I wasn’t upset but I couldn’t understand why my fiancé didnt go that route. Among other things, he said that he wasn’t comfortable with proposing with something other than a naturally made diamond – I still dont really get what he found “uncomfortable” with – as much as I adore my ring – I love it for the design (he custom designed it) and all the thought and effort it took. 

    If it were anything other than a diamond I would proudly say it, it’s just a symbol of love, and a diamond is just another rock. However, like most other ladies on here, I wouldn’t feel the need to make a big statement to everyone that admired my ring. That would feel as though I’m taking away from the special-ness (?) of the engagement ring by saying “oh no it’s not a diamond it’s just a …”.

     

    who gives a damn if it’s a CZ or a flawless 2ct diamond – it’s the symbol behind it that brings out the mushiness in us women when you see a fellow lady with a ring on her left finger 

    Post # 58
    Member
    1505 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think you should rock the stone you have, whether it is diamond/CZ/asha/moissanite/sapphire/emerald/morganite/a rock from your backyard… I would never try to pass a non diamond off as a diamond, but then I also would never buy a fake chanel purse and wear it as if I owned real chanel either. I’m not that offended if someone else lies about their ring – that is their insecurity, not mine!

    Post # 59
    Member
    6374 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    Rachel631:  See, I don’t understand why you need to explain.

    If someone says they like your handbag, why not just accept the compliment graciously and simply say ‘thank you’? Why the need to go into detail about where it’s from and what it cost? IMO doing that is almost like a form of inverse snobbery/bragging: if someone comments on my Jimmy Choos, I don’t feel the need to say ‘Thanks! They’re Jimmy Choo, and cost £350!’ so likewise if someone comments on my M&S shoes I don’t feel the need to say ‘Thanks! They’re only M&S and only cost £35!’. Neither is necessary IMO, and I feel the same about jewellery: if someone comments on a CZ ring I say ‘thanks’ and I say the say if they comment on a diamond ring; I don’t feel the need to follow up either compliment with an explanation of what the stone is and what it cost.

    The only time I would disclose that information is if someone said something specific; so if they said (of my CZ ring) ‘I love your diamond ring!’ then yes, I would say ‘Oh thank you; it’s actually CZ though!’; likewise if I had red-soled shoes and they commented on my ‘Loubs’, I would clarify. But I see no reason to volunteer that information otherwise and think it can come off as lacking manners and graciousness, personally.

    Post # 60
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Bridey77:   Totally agree.

    At the end of the day, it’s just unethical to lie. I would feel soooo guilty if I knew that I was lying or lying by omission – but that’s just me. Now I don’t think you have to go running around announcing what kind of stone it is, but if someone were to specifically call it a diamond and it wasn’t, I would have to graciously explain what I’m proud to be rocking (pun totally intended, haha).

     

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