(Closed) would you pass your non diamond as a diamond?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you ever try to 'pass' your stone as a diamond?

    Yes, I would totally tell people my stone is a diamond and not give it a second thought.

    No, I would never ever 'pass' my non diamond as a diamond.

  • Post # 61
    Member
    2505 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it’s really sad that people get so bent out of shape over someone’s engagement ring and what they decide to pass it off as. Why does anyone care so much? Oh you lied to me about what your stone is? You lied about your LV purse being real? I DON’T CARE! Could they be lying about other things? probably, but again, WHO CARES!

    Post # 62
    Member
    1882 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I don’t think anyone around me has a non-diamond ring, but even if I suspected that was the case, I can’t imagine being tacky enough to actually ask. The only acceptable thing to say to an engaged woman is “congratulations, what a lovely ring!” – anything besides that is basically demonstrating that you’re rude and low class.  

    If I had gotten a non diamond, I wouldn’t lie if someone did ask, but I also wouldn’t volunteer the info if not asked.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by  nightborn.
    Post # 63
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    Bridey77:  Exactly!

    Is there anything wrong with having a non-diamond e-ring?  Hell no!

    Do I think non-diamond e-ring wearers need to go around announcing to the world that their ring is not a diamond?  No.  I don’t go around announcing my diamond to the world so why should anyone else have to?

    Do I think non-diamoned e-ring wearers need to correct every stranger that compliments their ring and clarify that it’s a moissy/CZ/sapphire?  No.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

    Do I think it’s wrong to tell someone that your ring is a diamond when it is not  (ie if someone said “beautiful ring!” and you said, “Thanks it’s a 2ct diamond” when really it’s a 1.5 caret moissy)?  Yes.

    Do I think people should be honest about what type of stone they have to those in their family or social circles?  Yes.  You don’t have to offer the information, but you should correct them if they call your ring a diamond or something else it’s not.

    I think it says a lot about a person when they flat out lie about something.  I know in the grand scheme of things lying about an e-ring isn’t a huge deal.  But it would make me wonder why you lied.  Do you think I’d judge you for it?  Think less of you because you couldn’t afford a 2ct diamond?  Are you just trying to keep up with the Jones’?  Are you also lying about your Coach handbag, Louis Vuitton shoes, etc? Why do you feel the need to protray yourself as something you are not?  

    I don’t know, lying just isn’t an attractive quality to me.  I won’t end a friendship because you claimed your Moissy was a diamond.  But I’ll definitely be watching out for a pattern and noticing what else you lie about.

    Post # 64
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I think this question is kind of irrelevant, because most people just assume it’s a diamond. Case in point: My engagement ring is a blue sapphire (I wanted a coloured, non-diamond gemstone). Obviously by choosing a coloured stone, my fiance and I had no intention of “fooling” anyone into thinking it was a diamond! Well when we were at Macy’s doing our registry, the consultant saw my ring and said, “Oh how pretty, a BLUE diamond!!” I was stifling my laughter when I said “Oh actually, it’s a sapphire!” My stone isn’t even white/colourless and STILL she just assumed that because it was and engagement ring, then it must be a diamond. People are funny.

    Post # 65
    Member
    2453 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    A Short Guide to What I Consider Appropriate Responses on Compliments of a Non-Diamond Ring

     

    What is OK:

    Complimenter: Hey, nice ring!

    You: Thanks!

     

    What is (probably) not OK:

    Complimenter: Hey, nice diamond ring!

    You: Thanks!

    (Preferrable response: Thanks!  It’s actually [insert stone here].)

    (Note: If said by stranger in passing where conversation would not continue past thanks, such as getting off a bus, a simple thanks is fine.)

     

    What is definitely not OK:

    Complimenter: Hey, nice ring!

    You: Thanks!  It’s a great diamond!

     

    This ends my simple guide.

     

    … You know, if people were more honest about their rings, more people would give up their views on requiring an engagement ring to be a diamond.

    Post # 67
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

    Honestly, I don’t care if someone wants to pass their non diamond off as a real diamond. It’s not my business. And all of these stones (moissy, diamond, amora, sapphire, ect..) are equally beautiful anyway. 

    I have a synthetic ruby in a diamond setting, and I don’t go around telling people it’s fake. People, I assume, think its real. So I’m not going to say, ‘oh by the way, it’s fake’. I dont go out of my way to tell them it’s real either though. No one has ever asked, which I think if someone did it would be rude. So I just leave them with whatever impression they have come up with on their own.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1146 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    chica95110:  I wouldn’t, because I am the type that feels that even if others don’t know I am passing off something fake as real, I would know…and I just would not like that feeling concerning my ring.

    I tend to believe it’s best to just be an authentic person and own yourself and your choices. If you don’t like the options available to you (whether it’s a ring or anything else), then make changes and choices that will lead to having the options (for real!) that will make you happy. Until then, own it — don’t do things to put up a false front.

    That said, I couldn’t care less what others do with their engagement ring choices.The above is a general philosophy and for me, it does trickle down into things as trivial as a stone choice. I would think it’s a bit odd if a good friend outright lied to me about it, but I don’t think any of my friends would and doubt I’d give it much of a second thought. The material attached to someone else’s ring finger is her business.

    Post # 70
    Member
    6659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    No I would not, but I would think it was rude if people asked me what stone it was. My e-ring is a real diamond and if someone asked me to confirm it was actually a diamond I would assume they were either implying it didn’t look like one OR trying to size me up financially, both are pretty rude motives.

    On the flip side, if I knew someone was wearing a non diamond intentionally trying to pass it off as a diamond I would think that was strange. It just seems dishonest and I would wonder what else they were lying to me about.

    Post # 71
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t care what other people do (something many other bees should maybe learn from), but I wouldn’t lie about my moissanite. I’m proud that we made the right choice for us by getting moissanite, and I love it for what it is. I want everyone in the world to know about it and have the same choice I did!

    Post # 72
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2000

    Well, my engagement ring is an opal.  People judge it all the time.  I really don’t give a rat’s behind about anyone else’s opinion.  I’m proud of the ring we chose because it’s unique and fits my personality. 

    Therefore, I see no reason to pass one type of stone off as another.  I don’t think there’s any need to tell every person that compliments your ring know what type of stone it is, but if they specifically call it out as a diamond, then I think they should be told what type of stone it is.  Any other answer tells me that you’re ashamed of you stone choice.  

    Post # 74
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    View original reply
    barbie86:  I think it’s a matter of honesty and expectation… but I can also understand why this could be taken as a sort of reverse snobbery.

    On the one hand, I think that if I simply accepted a compliment, I would be accepting it on false pretences. If someone said that they loved my hair, for example, I feel as if I would be doing a disservice to pretend that it is my natural hair… as if I were pretending that having nice hair is something that comes naturally which women should aspire to. I also have no desire to pretend that this is something which comes easily, or which they should feel under any desire to emulate. For example, I have facial moles which I removed by having them burned off with acid and then pulled off with a scalpel whilst I was still conscious (in the third world). I do not recommend this. But I did it. I don’t regret it, but I don’t want to pretend that I’m some sort of magical role model, either…. or that I was somehow born without moles, and facial imperfections.

    I think my desire to share details is a desire to make sure that people know ALL the facts. I’m sure that I overshare, but I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not either. I think I want to be fair, and pretending that your massive ring/boobs/job/whatever are “natural” is somehow not fair… it implies that other people are underachieving, when actually they are maybe just more honest.

    The topic ‘would you pass your non diamond as a diamond?’ is closed to new replies.

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