Post # 61
I think it’s really sad that people get so bent out of shape over someone’s engagement ring and what they decide to pass it off as. Why does anyone care so much? Oh you lied to me about what your stone is? You lied about your LV purse being real? I DON’T CARE! Could they be lying about other things? probably, but again, WHO CARES!
Post # 62
I don’t think anyone around me has a non-diamond ring, but even if I suspected that was the case, I can’t imagine being tacky enough to actually ask. The only acceptable thing to say to an engaged woman is “congratulations, what a lovely ring!” – anything besides that is basically demonstrating that you’re rude and low class.
If I had gotten a non diamond, I wouldn’t lie if someone did ask, but I also wouldn’t volunteer the info if not asked.
Post # 63
Is there anything wrong with having a non-diamond e-ring? Hell no!
Do I think non-diamond e-ring wearers need to go around announcing to the world that their ring is not a diamond? No. I don’t go around announcing my diamond to the world so why should anyone else have to?
Do I think non-diamoned e-ring wearers need to correct every stranger that compliments their ring and clarify that it’s a moissy/CZ/sapphire? No. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Do I think it’s wrong to tell someone that your ring is a diamond when it is not (ie if someone said “beautiful ring!” and you said, “Thanks it’s a 2ct diamond” when really it’s a 1.5 caret moissy)? Yes.
Do I think people should be honest about what type of stone they have to those in their family or social circles? Yes. You don’t have to offer the information, but you should correct them if they call your ring a diamond or something else it’s not.
I think it says a lot about a person when they flat out lie about something. I know in the grand scheme of things lying about an e-ring isn’t a huge deal. But it would make me wonder why you lied. Do you think I’d judge you for it? Think less of you because you couldn’t afford a 2ct diamond? Are you just trying to keep up with the Jones’? Are you also lying about your Coach handbag, Louis Vuitton shoes, etc? Why do you feel the need to protray yourself as something you are not?
I don’t know, lying just isn’t an attractive quality to me. I won’t end a friendship because you claimed your Moissy was a diamond. But I’ll definitely be watching out for a pattern and noticing what else you lie about.
Post # 64
I think this question is kind of irrelevant, because most people just assume it’s a diamond. Case in point: My engagement ring is a blue sapphire (I wanted a coloured, non-diamond gemstone). Obviously by choosing a coloured stone, my fiance and I had no intention of “fooling” anyone into thinking it was a diamond! Well when we were at Macy’s doing our registry, the consultant saw my ring and said, “Oh how pretty, a BLUE diamond!!” I was stifling my laughter when I said “Oh actually, it’s a sapphire!” My stone isn’t even white/colourless and STILL she just assumed that because it was and engagement ring, then it must be a diamond. People are funny.
Post # 65
A Short Guide to What I Consider Appropriate Responses on Compliments of a Non-Diamond Ring
What is OK:
Complimenter: Hey, nice ring!
What is (probably) not OK:
Complimenter: Hey, nice diamond ring!
(Preferrable response: Thanks! It’s actually [insert stone here].)
(Note: If said by stranger in passing where conversation would not continue past thanks, such as getting off a bus, a simple thanks is fine.)
What is definitely not OK:
Complimenter: Hey, nice ring!
You: Thanks! It’s a great diamond!
This ends my simple guide.
… You know, if people were more honest about their rings, more people would give up their views on requiring an engagement ring to be a diamond.
Post # 66
Good one I just laughed out loud reading your comment!
Post # 67
- Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate
Honestly, I don’t care if someone wants to pass their non diamond off as a real diamond. It’s not my business. And all of these stones (moissy, diamond, amora, sapphire, ect..) are equally beautiful anyway.
I have a synthetic ruby in a diamond setting, and I don’t go around telling people it’s fake. People, I assume, think its real. So I’m not going to say, ‘oh by the way, it’s fake’. I dont go out of my way to tell them it’s real either though. No one has ever asked, which I think if someone did it would be rude. So I just leave them with whatever impression they have come up with on their own.
Post # 68
I wouldn’t, because I am the type that feels that even if others don’t know I am passing off something fake as real, I would know…and I just would not like that feeling concerning my ring.
I tend to believe it’s best to just be an authentic person and own yourself and your choices. If you don’t like the options available to you (whether it’s a ring or anything else), then make changes and choices that will lead to having the options (for real!) that will make you happy. Until then, own it — don’t do things to put up a false front.
That said, I couldn’t care less what others do with their engagement ring choices.The above is a general philosophy and for me, it does trickle down into things as trivial as a stone choice. I would think it’s a bit odd if a good friend outright lied to me about it, but I don’t think any of my friends would and doubt I’d give it much of a second thought. The material attached to someone else’s ring finger is her business.
Post # 69
Trinisexy2 Thats cool thats what you think… I just don’t have a problem with people telling me their stone is something else. I feel its their personal choice and non of my business.
MrsCassie Good point… I’ve said before that I really don’t care what other people have. In the same respect people should not care what I have. And for the record, if it sparkles I will in fact stick it on my finger and be happy.
ohnatto Thats deep.
BWLE Well, I will say this for myself… I do from time to time buy designer knock offs. I like purses but so what. I can honestly say I don not care if others look at my purse and instantly know its a knock off. Many of my friends come from money and none of them has ever expressed shame that I carry a designer knock off bag. My friends with money are more enchanted with the idea that I got a designer knock off that looks good. I guess thats my thing. Is that I want it to look good in general even if its a knock off. Just my 2 cents.
VivienMarcheline I could say much more but I will only say this… I feel the word ‘ashamed’ is a little to overly strong. I feel all women are complex creatures and we should not all be put in the same box.
merpitymerp No one has ever asked me ever. But, yes people do ask! I’ve heard to many stories from friends!
sept22insf Good point
gelaine22 You bring up an interesting point… Your saying a 2 ct. diamond owner may in fact get jealous if their larger mossy passes. Interesting. With diamonds there is obviously a certain status that people who buy them many times feel comes with the purchase of such an item.
Post # 70
No I would not, but I would think it was rude if people asked me what stone it was. My e-ring is a real diamond and if someone asked me to confirm it was actually a diamond I would assume they were either implying it didn’t look like one OR trying to size me up financially, both are pretty rude motives.
On the flip side, if I knew someone was wearing a non diamond intentionally trying to pass it off as a diamond I would think that was strange. It just seems dishonest and I would wonder what else they were lying to me about.
Post # 71
I don’t care what other people do (something many other bees should maybe learn from), but I wouldn’t lie about my moissanite. I’m proud that we made the right choice for us by getting moissanite, and I love it for what it is. I want everyone in the world to know about it and have the same choice I did!
Post # 72
Well, my engagement ring is an opal. People judge it all the time. I really don’t give a rat’s behind about anyone else’s opinion. I’m proud of the ring we chose because it’s unique and fits my personality.
Therefore, I see no reason to pass one type of stone off as another. I don’t think there’s any need to tell every person that compliments your ring know what type of stone it is, but if they specifically call it out as a diamond, then I think they should be told what type of stone it is. Any other answer tells me that you’re ashamed of you stone choice.
Post # 74
I think it’s a matter of honesty and expectation… but I can also understand why this could be taken as a sort of reverse snobbery.
On the one hand, I think that if I simply accepted a compliment, I would be accepting it on false pretences. If someone said that they loved my hair, for example, I feel as if I would be doing a disservice to pretend that it is my natural hair… as if I were pretending that having nice hair is something that comes naturally which women should aspire to. I also have no desire to pretend that this is something which comes easily, or which they should feel under any desire to emulate. For example, I have facial moles which I removed by having them burned off with acid and then pulled off with a scalpel whilst I was still conscious (in the third world). I do not recommend this. But I did it. I don’t regret it, but I don’t want to pretend that I’m some sort of magical role model, either…. or that I was somehow born without moles, and facial imperfections.
I think my desire to share details is a desire to make sure that people know ALL the facts. I’m sure that I overshare, but I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not either. I think I want to be fair, and pretending that your massive ring/boobs/job/whatever are “natural” is somehow not fair… it implies that other people are underachieving, when actually they are maybe just more honest.
Post # 75
Rachel631 For me your feelings are a little extreme. I would never explain to strangers or to my best friend that my purse or anything else was fake, where I got it from, the price and stating that I’m just as happy with it. Its just to much explaining for the sake of ‘being so called honest.’ I feel its none of peoples business. Things like if I die my hair or not is not something I’m proud of nor ashamed of, it just is what it is. That said I feel if I die my hair or not is between me and the cashier at Walmart who rings me up. My main thing is I don’t feel like its anyones business. Its just getting to damn personal. I label having to answer questions like the ones you have address is Too Much Information. But, if thats the road that you take that makes you happy then go for it.
MissSweetiepie I do agree with that… I don’t care if someone calls my stone a diamond, cz, mossy or anything else. I say thanks and move on with my day.
GG_Vega I have to say… I simply don’t get worked up over a shiney rock on my finger and what I say or don’t say about it. As I’ve stated before, a womans character is not summed up by one single thing she does or says in a single moment. As women we are complex and deep. And trying to judge someone by one thing so small is not the sum of who that person is or what she is about.