(Closed) Would you pay for your own or put money towards your own engagment ring?

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Would you pay for your own or put money towards your own engagment ring?
    Yes : (146 votes)
    65 %
    NO, NEVER! : (70 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (10 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    927 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I have a beautiful ring but I wouldn’t have put money towards it. It wasn’t important enough for me to put in extra money. Just my opinion.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Well, I guess my first answer would be that I’d never allow Fiance to give me a ring he couldn’t afford on his own (mine was under $400). But I figure that once we join finances we’re sharing all our money anyway, so in a sense I am sort of paying for my ring. If he has less money to spend because he buys the ring and we go out to eat so I pay since he has less money, then I’m paying for it indirectly, so it doesn’t matter to me.

    Post # 19
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    No. Paying for your own ring defeats the purpose. If my fiance couldn’t afford a ring, then I would go withoout. I wouldn’t pick one out and expect him to buy it.

    Post # 20
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I told my Fiance MANY times that I’d chip in to pay for my ring, as it was on the high end of the price range he gave me.  He simply wouldn’t let me, he was adament about it.  I felt pretty guilty about it for awhile, but he told me he had the money, he wouldn’t have set the budget so high if he couldn’t afford it, and that he had no problem paying for it.  But even up until the day he paid for it, I told him I didn’t mind helping pay.  He did it all on his own, though.  And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with chipping in to pay for your ring.

    Post # 21
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    As others have said, I would offer to help pay for the ring, but if your Fiance is like most guys, he may somewhat be offended by the offer.  I think it is important, self-esteem and ego wise, for a guy to pay for his girl’s ring by himself.  Instead of helping to pay for the ring you “wanted,” let him buy a ring he is comfortable paying solely himself and accept it with love (our society places to much emphasis on the “ring” nowadays).

    You can always upgrade later 😉

    Post # 22
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I totally see your points of “it all one big pot anyway” but an engagement ring is different. It is symbolic of…well, like someone said it is a gift. The man presenting you this ring to ask for your hand in marriage. Not “here ask me to marry you, use this ring” When i was younger ( 19) I did put $ towards my e ring and now at age 31 I think it was a dumb thing to do ( because the guy was a _____ and I should have known better) Me an Fiance didnt live together or join $ until WELL after the engagement. But I totally don’t think its “wrong” for everyone. totally just my opinion cause of what happened when I was younger.

    Post # 23
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m a student teacher so currently haven’t got any money! But if I did, then yes I would have happily offered to pay towards it. The Mr however is very traditional so I doubt he would have liked that idea.

    Post # 24
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    No, it’s a present. At the same time, I didn’t have any expectations about what kind of ring he would get me. I didn’t know anything about the average size of a diamond or what sort of cuts there are till I got to weddingbee.

    When we got engaged I did feel like it was a bit unfair that I got this amazing ring and he got nothing in return, so I bought him a present he loves.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I offered to help pay for my ring my Fiance wouldn’t have it. We didn’t combine our finances until after we were engaged so he saved and bought it on his own. I bought all 3 wedding bands though (I have 2, one on either side of my e-ring)

    Post # 26
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Our finances are already combined, so while it will be coming from his paycheck, it TECHNICALLY will come out of our shared bank account. To be honest, I’m not the banker in our relationship so as long as our bills are paid on time and we can live without starving, I don’t really care who puts money towards the ring!

    Post # 27
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I make a lot more money than Fiance, and I had enough to buy it outright when we started talking about it, but he refused.  It was important to him to save up for a few months, buy the ring without debt, then propose to me.  It wasn’t too expensive so it’s not that big of a deal, and we’ll be combining finances before we actually get married, so I’m glad that he got satisfaction out of being able to afford it on his own.  

    Post # 28
    Member
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    The money paid for my ring came out of OUR money. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My husband technically paid for it, but I wouldn’t have had a problem contributing, or paying for it all myself.  But this is kind of a distinction without a difference.  If you are getting married, it is one big pot of money.  It’s a present, yes… but we get each other presents all the time and techincally, we both pay for them.  Who pays for the ring only really becomes an issue if the couple doesn’t go through with the marriage.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1176 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I did 🙂

    Post # 31
    Member
    2755 posts
    Sugar bee

    I bought my ring 🙂  I was the one who proposed, and at the time he was a student with a TINY income while I had a full-time job. Why would I expect him to pay for a ring that I wanted to wear after I asked him to marry me? Hehe.

    We are talking about getting me a second ring since the one I bought is a one-of-a-kind piece that can’t be resized and my finger keeps getting smaller. And I think for that I’d prefer we split the cost since I want to do a bridal set and that’ll be fairly expensive.

    Marriage is all about partnership anyway, why not learn how to spend money together early?

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