(Closed) Would you pay for your own or put money towards your own engagment ring?

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Would you pay for your own or put money towards your own engagment ring?
    Yes : (146 votes)
    65 %
    NO, NEVER! : (70 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (10 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Already offered to, and would love to pay for half of it.  SO wanted to get engaged this summer, but he didn’t have the money (he was working very minimum hours the past 2 years, and he finally just got 2 new jobs).

    He wouldn’t have it though, neither of us are traditional in the least bit, but he’s very adament about this tradition.  Thus, he’s given me a timeline, by August 2013, we will be engaged (a year to save, I’ve picked out a ring that’s about $2000).

    Post # 63
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Our finances were not combined before we got married and his proposal was a surprise, so I don’t know how I’d have offered to pay for my own.  Also, I was pretty sure I’d never even have a serious boyfriend so I’d never given any thought to what kind of engagement ring I wanted.  Thankfully he has very good taste.  I did pay for my own wedding ring though, just because it was custom and he didn’t live nearby to shop with me. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    986 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This is a big issue for us.  He saved and boy was a saver.  I just wanted it and wanted it now.   I felt that we lived together it was shared money.   But nope, he insisted on doing it his way.  We fought over it regularly.  And, he was right.  I have never felt more loved and more proud of my ring, knowing how hard he worked and how he thought of me very week when he put money in his savings account.   It was worth the wait.  At the time I could not see that, I was just blinded by what I wanted.

    Post # 65
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I wrote him a check to help cover some of the “extras” I wanted (the setting was more expensive then a “regular” one…. and he ripped it up and threw it in the trash.  But he put it on our joint credit card, so every once in a while I make a little payment to help make me feel better!

    Post # 66
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    God no… that just seems so wrong to me. It just seems like you’d be forcing the engagment. It’s a personal decision but I would never ever ever do this. It makes me cringe for some reason….

    Post # 67
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Depends entirely on the spirit of the thing. I bought my ring before I even met my Fiance but I didn’t know it was my ring at the time. I just thought it was pretty. Somehow, I never got round to wearing it and then, when we found her ring, I remembered that I had a ring that was very similar. So we did it that way. I think if you are both happy, anything goes. If one of you isn’t or if there’s a risk you’ll hurt your partner, that’s when it’s a problem.

    Post # 68
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This one was a good one !!!!!  I was very happy to read that a lot of you ladies were not like…..eeEEEEWWWW NEVER……I mean it is traditional for the man to buy the ring, but in this day in time so what if he paid, you paid, or you both paid…..I say whatever works for you.  I have been in my relationship 14 years (long time), we have joint everything….now finally we are making it official, and we are paying for everything together. 

    Post # 69
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    yes i would pay, we have a joint account anyway but he has his own savings prior, but i would pay no problem.

    Post # 70
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yep, I paid for mine, cause at the time he couldn’t affors and I was making much more than he did. I got the ring of my dream and totally fine with it 😉 

    Post # 71
    Member
    1437 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I did, he used my credit card, he only put $150 on it. he said he would pay it off, but he never did lol

    Post # 72
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2019

    I seriously thougt about just buying my own to save my boyfriend the trouble, but looking back, I’m glad I never brought that up. I think it would have really insulted him; like the other SO’s of some other ladies, he is very traditional.

    No, I’m not engaged yet, but he has declared that he knows what he wants to buy me and not to worry about the price. He said he doesn’t want me to settle and wants to buy me what I really want. So there’s no telling how much he’s going to spend.

    Post # 73
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I wouldn’t do this. The man should give a ring that he can afford to give. Even if it only costs a few dollars. As long as it comes from his heart. I would rather wear the ring he gave me on his own than one I financed or co-financed myself.

    Post # 74
    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Our finances were already combined because we moved abroad together. But even still, I am not the type who would want to be surprised with a car with a giant bow on it (unless I was already looking for a car or we were so rich it just didn’t matter but lets be real) so I dont think I’d be comfortable with my SO gifting me with something so expensive when ultimately, it’s our money in the end. I think the gift in our case was him being so happy to spend the money on something so much more expensive than anything he ever bought for himself. I appreciated his utter lack of hesitation!

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