Post # 1
Not-so-funny story, I was just told by my friend of 10+ years that I was being selfish, overly religious and boarder-line abusive because I didn’t plan on raising my future children gender-neutral.
My heart goes out to the possible transgendered people on this board/trans folk everywhere that had a rough childhood because they were raised in a gender-oriented home and as a result had a hard time transitioning. It’s not something to be taken lightly and you have my respect.
That being said, it is very unlikely that my children will end up being transgendered or transsexual. If they do, I would like to think beyond the feminine or masculin ‘stuff’ that they would know that they have the unconditional love if their mother and father, even with our religious beliefs.
I respect those parents who choose to raise their children in a gender-neutral home, but for me, that would be a little too extreme. Until they are old enough to tell me otherwise, it’ll be pink walls and frilly dresses for my daughters and ball caps and overalls for my sons. That being said, if they do show interest in things that aren’t for their gender, I won’t NOT allow it, but until they can show me/tell me otherwise…. Well you get it, now I’m just ranting! 🙂
What does everyone else think??
The real question is how will you raise your future children or how are you currently raising your children? Why? Do you think it’s wrong to raise children gender-neutral or vice versa? I’m very curious as to what the ladies on here have to say. 🙂
Post # 2
Not to the extreme where those parents refused to tell anyone their child’s gender so that s/he could remain neutral, but in a way, yes. I will not push anything on my child, and if they want to explore things that are stereotypically for the opposite gender, fine.
I kind of think kids are who they are. FI has 3 little girls on his side of the family. One loves cars and will race them around the house. Her older sister will play house with the cars, making a mommy and daddy car and their baby.
Post # 3
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
I roll my eyes at the super, strict gender-neutral parenting practices.
I’m all for letting a little boy play with dolls or sign up for ballet classes if he wants but I’m not going to pretend like he’s NOT a boy and get pissed if someone buys us a BLUE blanket for him. Does everything have to be such a struggle?
When and if we ever have kids I’d like a gender neutral nursery. I had one when I was a baby – it was all green. No harm.
Everything in moderation including gender specifics. People who are 100% gender neutral, I feel, are causing damage and confusion. Like it or not – we are different genders for different reasons. I’m a female and happen to get a lot out of female-specific rolls. I enjoy them and I excell at them. This does not make me a submissive, idiot housewife.
Post # 4
I see no point in going out of your way to raise a gender neutral child. He/She will make their own decisions when they’re old enough to have a preference. Until then, they’ll get the toys that we choose to give them and dress in the clothes that we choose to put them in. I feel like some parents create more work for themselves by making a big deal out of this stuff.
Post # 5
Our DD is a typical girly-girl (at almost 10, he favourite store in the mall is Sephora–just to browse!), but then again she’s always gravitated towards the typical girly stuff (i.e. dresses, wearing my shoes, etc.) since she was 2 or 3. That being said, we’ve never pushed her to like or wear certain things, and she has enjoyed playing with toy cars and throwing around a baseball with friends, as well. If/when we have another child, they will also be raised gender-based, but allowed to express their own likes/interests.
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s really possible to raise a child “totally gender neutral” – gender is a social construct, meaning that even if you don’t do any “gendering” of your child at home they will still be influenced by it. I also don’t like a lot of the strongly gender oriented stuff for children – frilly pink princess stuff for girls or all sports and cars for boys (yuck) – but that’s partly because of my own personality and partly because I just find the more “neutral” stuff (generally cute baby things, not overly girl or boy oriented) much cuter.
Post # 7
silkspectre94: I will raise mine in a “gender based” way. pink, dresses, barbie dolls, etc for a daughter. blue, ball cap, dirt, cars, etc. for a son. I think a person will turn out however they are meant to turn out regardless of the color of their nursery walls. This whole push towards a gender neutral based generation just seems to be even more confusing to children, in my opinion. no offense to others raising their children that way, to each their own.
Post # 8
silkspectre94: “That being said, it is very unlikely that my children will end up being transgendered or transsexual”<br style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px;” /><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px;” />
What makes you so sure of this? lol
I think it’s wrong to force a gender role on a child that isn’t into it. If your male child enjoys things that aren’t typically associated with boys, or your daughter enjoys things that are typically considered for “males”, I think it’s wrong to forcibly steer them towards things that are considered typical to their gender. Everyone is different, and I think they should be able to explore their individual personalities without the added pressure of being “gender appropriate”….especially when it’s just to make their parents feel good about themselves.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club
all that matters is that once your child decides on their own life, career, sexuality, partner, etc, that they are supported by their parents.
Post # 10
The way I see it, we prepare our kids for the world they are growing up in. So, yeah I’ll prob throw some pretty dresses on my little girl or spiderman pajamas on my boy, but that’s kind of the status quo. If we livedin a world where, I imagine, everything was gender neutral, then so be it- pink on boys, firetrucks on girls, cats and dogs dining together, yada yada.
If my son wants to run around in a party dress, then as long as it’s clean and presentable and appropriate for the occasion, sure. I think that to some degree it’s important we guide our kids to make good choices when it comes to appearances, but it’s important to teach them to respect personal preferences, starting with themselves. Children will gravitate to things they like and feel comfortable with. Why try to interfer with such a natural part of development if it isn’t unsafe or unhealthy or destructive?
Post # 12
I would not push standard gender related ideals on my children. However, this is the real world. This is not Tumblr. My daughter would be raised as a daughter and my son would be raised as a son.
Post # 13
This is a new trend. Chemically and by brain scans men and woman are different. Denying that there are gender differences is very dangerous in itself. That dosn’t mean that people need to reinforce gender sterytypes, but raising a child denying that there are any is just foolish.
Post # 14
People need to just give their kids the kind of childhood that they don’t have to recover from. Wanna play with trucks and wear a princess dress? Go for it, in my opinion. Kids should be free to explore what makes them happy and parents shouldn’t try to force them one way or another, or tell them that they can’t do something because “that’s for boys/girls”.
Post # 15
Gender is something to be valued and celebrated. I love being a woman and I hope someday my children are fortunate to love the skin they are in.
For that reason, I think gender neutrality is not the sliver bullet. It distracts from the bigger conversation needed on creating equity among genders. I’d be more incline to raise all my children, boys and girls, as feminists. I think we should start there if we truly want to level the playing field.