(Closed) Would you rather be first or last to get married in your social group? (Poll)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: When would you want to get married among your friends?
    I want to be first! : (57 votes)
    35 %
    I want to be last! : (21 votes)
    13 %
    OMG who the hell cares?! : (84 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 16
    3169 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’d like to get married whenever i met the one! For me it was later because I waited for the best ๐Ÿ˜‰


    Post # 17
    71 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m hoping for a proposal soon so I will probably be first. Which, to be honest, is what I would want ๐Ÿ™‚ I am normally not a person who likes being the center of attention, but in this situation I’m allowing myself to be selfish. If your wedding is first, and your a young bee (early 20s), most of your friends have never been through the wedding planning process. It is new and exciting to everyone, and you get to be the center of that excitement. I also won’t have to worry about my wedding “living up” to someone else’s or copying someone else’s idea. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 18
    31 posts
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Country Club

    jwaka24:  I chose first because I was actually engaged before everyone in my group of friends but my Fiance and I had a daughter and decided to buy a house and while we did that everyone else got engaged and married right away and now that my wedding is actually happening this September most of my friends are having babies now and said they will not be able to attend my wedding.

    Post # 19
    1909 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I voted for who cares. I know people who are married, but the relationship is shitty so even though they got married before me, it was nothing to be envious of. And also, just because someone got married before you doesn’t mean they can relate to wedding stuff. One of my close friends got married before me, but she had an extremely small destination wedding. She didn’t have a bridal party either, so a lot of my wedding planning woes, she couldn’t relate to. So I don’t think first, in between, or last makes much of an impact if any. What’s important is marrying the right person for you.

    Post # 20
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

    jwaka24:  we are the first to get married in my group, but it wouldn’t make a difference to me either way!

    Post # 21
    558 posts
    Busy bee

    It doesn’t really matter, but as life is looking right now I will probably be among the earlier group. I’m really happy with that, because I like feeling “settled” but I am glad to have seen a few weddings and marriages first. I do think the internal timing is much more important than the external…

    Post # 22
    2455 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Most of the women whom I knew when we were young had a marriage and divorce before finding their “life Mate”, so 

    I’m glad I was among the last to marry. Less than half a dozen of us found permanent happiness on the first try.

    Post # 23
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We are going to be the first among my social group and the 1st among all of our siblings to marry.  It’s exciting, and while I wouldn’t want to be last, I wish someone else did it first. First off, My finance’ has no respect for the wedding planning timeline.  In his mind, nothing needs to be done until like 2 weeks before the wedding. He just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that I was taking him to see venues 1 year in advance. And now we’re 4 months out, and he still has no clue what he’s wearing. And he refuses to formally ask people to be in the wedding. His reasoning being, “they’ll be there, sure they’ll do it.  Granted he’s refusing to ask his brother and my bestfriend to be groomsmen, and the truth is; yes, they will be there & yes, they will do it.  But I still feel like he should ask them formally! It’s just ridiculous. If Fiance had been a part of another wedding before ours, I think a lot of these things would be non-issues.

    Moorea12:  This! As soon as I got engaged, a whopping 15 months before my wedding, all 5 of my bridesmaids asked me were they going to be in my wedding.  I didn’t get to ask not one girl, and I was very disappointed as I had the cutest “will you be my bridesmaid?” ideas. But honestly, they all did it, because #1- They were overly excited for the 1st wedding in the group, and #2- They didn’t really know any better, as none of them had been in any weddings as adults, and #3- yes I would have picked them all anyway.  Now due to their over-excitement, they make all of these “Platinum Wedding” style suggestions, with absolutely no clue as to how costly or complicated it is.   It’s pretty hard to get practical wedding advice from them, when the only thing that my girls know about weddings is what they’ve seen on David Tutera’s “My fair wedding”.  They all mean well though.

    Post # 24
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

    I’m one of the first. But honestly I wish I were one of the last so all my friends could know exactly what they’re doing and help out! Lol but that’s just me being selfish ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 25
    35 posts
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I’m basically the first. I have one friend who’s getting married before me, but there’s almost no overlap between our friend groups and guest lists. I love being first! Everyone’s so excited and the process hasn’t lost its novelty yet. I haven’t gotten any crazy suggestions, really, but that’s probably because, of my friends, I’m the most into weddings and so they all trust me to handle it on my own. I’m really glad no one’s trying to help me out! I love the planning, and I definitely don’t want to hand it off to other people.

    Post # 26
    312 posts
    Helper bee

    I am the last and it sucks. My Maid/Matron of Honor is having a baby 2 months before and my other Bridesmaid or Best Man has a 4 year old. All my friends are married with kids (I do have a son as well) so it just kind of feels like everyone is over it. My BMs are still trying to put together a bachelorette and stuff, but no one ever gets together to do stuff anymore because we are all in our mid 30s have have a lot going on. I wish I could have been more in the middle before we all “grew up.” I definitely feel like I missed out on some stuff.

    Post # 27
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We’re the first in our group of friends. One of my high school friends is married, but out of everyone else, we’re the first. We’ve been together the longest, though, aside from one couple from college. I actually wish a few more of our friends had gotten married before us, simply because I haven’t been to all that many weddings and it’s been really hard to figure out what I like, want, etc. On the other hand, it’s nice being first because everyone is so excited about our wedding. 

    Post # 28
    9350 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I say last only because I’ll be one of the last by the time I actually get married and am very glad for it. I’ve seen what I like/what I don’t like, what works/what doesn’t work and can piece together things that I liked about all the weddings I’ve been to when I plan mine. Also I can get great tips and recommendations from my friends. 

    Post # 29
    7110 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think there are pluses and minuses to each situation.

    When I got married, it was well after most of my friends. They all got married right out of college, so around 21/22. I got married at 27 – so obviously many years later. It meant I didn’t have the stress about other weddings, or worry about dates overlapping, or the cattiness that comes with a bunch of girlfriends getting married at the same time. I also had a much larger wedding that was more of a party, because we had quite a larger budget since we were older and established. The only downside is that my friends all were married with kids, so I really didn’t make much of a deal about my wedding and didn’t really have anyone getting overly excited about it. It didn’t really bother me that much, because I do recognize that they all have their own very busy lives.

    I have a couple of friends who are several years younger than me, and within their friend group they ALL got married at the same time last year. One friend was in FOUR weddings over a 6 month time frame, including her own, and all those girls were in each other’s wedding. OMG the cattiness out of *best friends* over who was doing what – insane. They all worked with different budgets, and the crap involved with the her/my wedding was out of control.


    Post # 30
    698 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I’m the last at almost 25 haha.  But I don’t mind either way.  Having it last gave me more life experience they didn’t have, since they have children already.  And that might be what they want and that’s fine!  I also see mistakes they made for their weddings so it means I can fix mine ๐Ÿ˜‰

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