Post # 1
I have an idea that my proposal will be coming in the next year or six months, but SO has no idea that I know this (he texted my Mom telling her he is looking for a ring but assumed she would never tell me….ha! Of course she did.). So while I had confidence before that it was coming eventually, I now know that that he has ACTUALLY started looking, so I am thinking about it all the time whereas before it was only an occasional thought. I almost wish it was a total and complete surprise!! I doubt he will ask me for any help picking the ring or even take me out to try any on, which in a way is good because then I would get even more impatient and excited!! Haha.
Anyone else understand what I mean??
Post # 3
I knew it was coming but I was still completely caught off guard and it ended up being a surprise.
I was actually @ the grocery store buying engagement cheeses (I was thinking he was going to propose the next day and I thought I would pick up some good cheeses to celebrate) while he was at home getting ready to propose! I had NO idea, it’s hard to have it be a complete surprise after you’ve been together awhile (and talk about it) but i wouldn’t have changed it even if i could!
Post # 4
Completely!! I would rather be totally surprised than know it was coming. And for the most part I will be. My SO originally wanted to include his mom and had a date set in December to look at rings. Of course she told me this. Then she ruined everything and he is doing it on his own. Which I prefer! I want to be surprised and she would have totally ruined it all! I think its good to have an idea of when, but I am with you, including me in anything else would only make me more anxious and impatient haha.
Post # 5
My SO casually mentioned a few weeks back that it would be happening in the next 12 months and I have a BAD habit of ruining surprises so I REALLY REALLY hope that my SO can keep it from me, I know he would really love to finally surprise me 🙂
Post # 6
@jbarker09: “engagement cheeses” <—- I LOVE THIS lol!
Post # 7
I had a little bit of both. We already called and booked the church a month before (19 months before the wedding and dates were booking up fast!!!), and we had gone ring shopping together so I knew it was happening. However, he kept saying it would happen early to mid January, but he did surprise me by proposing on Christmas Eve!!! Doesn’t matter what happens, it will be perfect!!!
Post # 8
@sillysillybee: I would like be at the point in a relationship where I’d be happy to accept a proposal because it would mean a good and helathy future rather than like a last ditch attempt to save the relationship or something. But if I was REALLY desperate to be engaged, which I never really was (at least not the way some girls on the Bee are), then I’d just ask him myself.
I’m not one of those girls who sits around for months and hems and haws, then threatens to leave her boyfriend if he doesn’t propose. I would never give my SO a timeframe to make a major life decision in, or at least not something as trivial as marriage.
I was at the point where I joyfully accepted, but not after months of secretly picking out my wedding china or anything. It’s like we’re already married.
Post # 9
I’d like both. Ha. I’d want to be given a time range, but then be surprised. I’m a little weird maybe.. My mom said when I was little I used to peek at the Christmas presents in her closet.
Post # 10
Like half and half I guess – I loved to be surprised but I’m still really impatient perhaps be given a hint?!
Post # 11
I’m trying to get the best of both worlds. I’m the one who brought getting engaged up, and we talked about it together and decided it was something we could do. I wasn’t asking for a proposal but he said he had to have a good story to tell, so my time frame is anytime from now until the end of May — sometime before we’ll be living in different cities for a year. It’ll be a surprise, I hope, when it happens, but at the same time it’s totally killing me to not know and to completely give up control on something so important. It’s becoming a good exercise in trust.
Post # 12
@Brickette: LOL I know, I was really into it. we were going away the following day for a weekend getaway so I thought for sure he was going to propose while we were gone so I wanted to be ready! I even was talking about it on the way to drop him off (I dropped him off at the house while I went to the store to get groceries for our trip to save time) and he was so calm and collected about responding that I didn’t think anything different. I’m sure in his head he was freaking out since he was about to propose!
Post # 13
I knew mine was coming. I knew the day he bought the ring (bc he isn’t very sneaky). We had gone away for a long weekend after that, and I knew it was coming so I was just waiting for it. I was caught off gaurd when he actually did it, but not surprised. I wish I would have had no idea what was going on. Your mom shouldn’t have said anything, now your never going to stop wondering when it’s coming!
Post # 14
I know its coming. He’s had the ring since Thanksgiving. I just don’t know when he’s going to propose which is fine by me. I told him that I didn’t want to see it coming. I know it’s going to be hard for him to do that because I always think its coming.
Post # 15
I knew mine was coming, and I don’t like unexpected things to happen to me [although it’s not possible to stop them!]. I would much prefer to know! It will always be a surprise though, because you never know EXACTLY when it’s going to happen.
Post # 16
I didn’t know what to vote, because he’s going to “surprise” me with the proposal, but I already know roughly when he is doing it, we’re going to go pick out a ring together, etc.
I would never want to be completely surprised. If we haven’t talked a ton about marriage and what we want and expect then I wouldn’t feel ready for that commitment.
@mrs-to-be-2014: We’re doing this too – we’re booking the church this spring before we get “formally” engaged. I do realize that means we are already technically engaged but he REALLY wants to do the thing with the ring so I’m going to let him at that. I’m glad other people have done that, it makes me feel less crazy but its what we want to do!