(Closed) Would you rather have had your dream wedding or your dream honeymoon?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
11480 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Wonderstruck:  I agree. 

OP, You only get married once, whereas you will have many opportunities for a vacation anywhere in the world. I would make your marriage experience what you really want it to be.  There will be opportunities for you to go to Europe in the future, but, if the wedding of your dreams is in NZ, then I think you should have what you really want.

I’ll say something to you that I always say to brides who are torn between two wedding gowns:  Clearly, you like both of these options very much, so you could live WITH either one of these choices. What REALLY matters is, however, is which choice will you be truly upset to have to live WITHOUT?  Which experience, if you do NOT choose it, will drive you crazy and “haunt” you that you didn’t go for it? Once you answer that question, you’ll have your answer as to what you should do! πŸ™‚

Post # 18
1132 posts
Bumble bee

without a doubt in my opinion, the wedding is more important than the honey moon. I would rather have my dream wedding. I feel like ANY destination you travel to with your hunny would be amazzziiinnnng and you could take an amazing honeymoon vacay every year ya know?? You cant have a big dream wedding more than once πŸ˜‰ Realistically. Lol i dont know. My personal thoughts πŸ™‚

Post # 20
241 posts
Helper bee

Wow I haven’t done either yet.  I have however done plenty of long haul flights.  The advice you are getting is correct– it can be a huge adjustment.  If you’ve never done it before you won’t know how it will affect you. And if it were me and my time period were so limited I wouldn’t risk it for my wedding day. 

Just a few personal examples, I went to Australia and was fine during the trip, but on the return to the east coast, it took me a week to get fully adjusted to be awake during normal hours and if I had to head immediately back to work I wouldn’t have made it. My bf and I took a trip to hawaii and  couldn’t stay awake past 6 the first half of the trip. (imagine the damper that put on the romance).  That’s not to say that you couldn’t try to minimize the effects. on my last 24 hour flight to Africa, I took pains while traveling to try to adjust to the times I was headed towards by only sleeping during their night hours, but that meant some times when i was awfully tired and not at my sweetest for my honey. I guess if it were me, I would just want to feel my best on my wedding day and knowing that travel on a tight timeframe might screw that up I wouldn’t risk it. 

I think the Europe trip is certainly more manageable and there are plenty of amazing spots to get married there. If you want to keep the mountain theme, have you considered switzerland? I haven’t been there personally but I hear the Black Forest in Germany is amazing. That said, its your wedding so you should do whatever makes the two of you happy. People make short trips around the world all the time. Go for it if that’s what will make your wedding day.

Post # 22
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010


Because ours was freaking awesome. We backpacked for 3 weeks through Europe. It was a dream of ours and we made it happened. Would not have traded it for the world.

And I say honeymoon vs dream wedding because yes you only get married ONCE. But at the end of the day the result is the same. You are married to your husband. It doesn’t matter if you have $300 centerpieces at every table or centerpieces from the dollar tree. It does not matter if you are wearing a cocktail dress from a department store or a Vera Wang. It doesn’t matter if your photographer is a student or a 5K photographer. What matters is that you are married.

But the proper $$$ for an awesome honeymoon can change the experience.

For us we were lucky enough to have both our “dream” wedding and honeymoon!

Post # 23
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We’re doing both but not without sacrifice. We’re having a dream wedding (relatively) and we’re delaying our dream honeymoon by a few years.

Post # 24
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

OK I read more. I have forumalated my opinion I would choose the wedding. You only get one of those, but you can have many trips to wherever should you choose to. The “newlywed” feeling is just that. If you want the lustly love feeling take yourself there mentally. So to me expericeing a trip as “newlyweds” just to feel like newlyweds isn’t a reason to me. I’d rather have the best wedding EVER, and make the best trip ever (europe)- later.

Post # 25
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would do honeymoon!!

First of all, all the drama that came with our wedding planning was something I could DEFINITELY have done without. A small intimate wedding with just the two of us (and our dog) and maybe our parents (if they’re good. ha!) was actually my dream!!  In the end you two will still be married regardless of how much you spend and how many guests you had.

In my experience, the big wedding production was for the parents’ and the honeymoon was what was for us. Which is why I would go with a dream honeymoon all the way! We went on our dream honeymoon and if I had to choose wedding or honeymoon, I wouldn’t have given up the honeymoon for anything. 

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