Post # 32
@southsun: yes, it is absolutely okay. My Fiance proposed without a ring and I was not disappointed at all. When we finally found the perfect ring he re-proposed, but it wasn’t a requirement. It’s just jewelry and if your future is being defined by an accessory then you should re think why you want to get married.
Post # 33
@mscuppycake: haha! I’m the SAME way! My Fiance got me a white gold – CZ since he was struggling financially when he proposed (he’s stubborn and wanted to do it no matter what). I love it, he wants to upgrade but I’m attached to this one :
To the OP: It’s whatever you prefer at the end of the day!!
Post # 34
Loving all your responses bees. I’m so totally fascinated by the depth and variety of how two individual people choose to marry. I’m a rah rah girl power type so I love seeing women proudly declare how to define such a huge moment in their life. 🙂
Post # 35
A ringless proposal is fine if you then go pick out a ring together. (Personally I think he should get a stand in prop ring at least though until you pick one out though.) But to never get a ring wouldn’t be acceptable to me. It’s not about the money spent on it per se, but more that he should be willing to make some sacrafice to show that he thinks marrying you is important.
Post # 36
I didn’t want an engagement ring, so we didn’t get one. I’m pretty anti-tradition, and we had more important things to spend the money on.
Post # 37
We’ve been together for five years. He didn’t really propose to me, but gave me a gorgous sapphire ring for our anniversary. We sort of talked and thought it was time to get married. Two months later (after much of the planning was done) he suprised me at the place where we first met with my dream ring. We met there 8 years ago and sometimes still go there to relieve it. He even bought the ring from a jeweler in the area. He even made sure that we brought our fur baby with us. It was worth the wait.
Post # 38
My boyfriend has asked me *multiple times* to marry him and I laugh and say ‘yes dear.’ I have also told him multiple times that I can’t wait to marry him, and he laughs and says ‘working on it.’
To me… taking the time to look for, save up, purchase the ring, and then plan a proposal (no matter how simple or elaborate) proves that he’s actually serious about it all and has made the emotional investment into our future. I don’t care how much the ring costs, or if it’s fancy, or if it’s a diamond. I just want him to put thought into it and know that it’s not a spur of the moment thing.
My $0.02 🙂
Post # 39
This! Definitely agree.
I wouldn’t tell anyone until there was a ring on my finger.
Post # 40
Not sure what I think about this common view that a ‘real’ proposal requires effort and money going to pick a ring and an element of ‘sacrifice.’ What does the other person demonstrate back if that’s the rationale?? What about heirloom rings that didn’t cost anything/were not a ‘sacrifice?’ What about me doing the planning for our proposal/engagement? I don’t think that means dw wasn’t serious or it wasnt real….I’m in the camp that if two people decide to marry that is a real proposal/engagement!!
Post # 41
@southsun: I’d say yes if this was a: I really wanted to ask at this time on this day, but your ring isn’t ready yet. Please accept this stand in cocktail ring / cheap fun ring / jelly sweetie ring as a token of what’s to come
Post # 43
We’ve been together 10 years. We’re basically married in terms of daily activities. If he had proposed to me without a ring, I would have been a little put-off, to be honest.
Maybe I’m an oddball, but proposal = ring, and wedding = party. We’ve got all the emotional loving stuff taken care of already and have for a long time. At this point we just want to be flashy about it and have a good time!
Post # 44
As long as we were going to go shop for a ring aftewards, sure. I wanted a ring, and there’s really no financial reason why we couldn’t both have nice rings to celebrate our engagement and marriage. So no, I wouldn’t be okay with no ring at all, but I don’t need the ring and the question to come at the exact same time.
Post # 45
Things happened, and his original proposal plan didn’t work out. We ended up getting my ring several months after getting engaged. It wasn’t a big deal.
Post # 46
@pharmy: same way over here. weve been dating for over 5 yrs, have a house and 2 dogs and live a “married” life. getting engaged is obviously not the first thing on our to do list so i want the complete package when it happens!
and the wedding is a party for us as well. Its not as much about commitment as it is for my other girl friends because we already have that because of living/buying large things together.