(Closed) Would you REALLY be okay with a ringless proposal?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you be okay with a ringless proposal?

    Yes! Absolutely, it's just jewelery.

    I would say yes, but still want a ring.

    I mean, my SO should at least bring a ring pop to the table...

    No, I want a ring for my proposal, it makes as me happy/means a lot to me!

    No, but I'd want some sort of stone/necklace/jewelry.

    Other, explain.

  • Post # 47
    Member
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Mr TTR proposed “sans ring”

    BUT we / he always knew / agreed that I would have an ERing

    It was just a case of we went shopping together after the fact rather than before

    (No complaints on that front, as an Encore I very much had picky tastes about my ERing this time round… didn’t want anything to remind me of my first marriage… Mr TTR was happy that I insisted that we do it together… cause as he says left up to him I would have gotten a Solitaire… cause that is what he thought of when he thought ERing… and that was the LAST thing I wanted having had one for my first marriage)

    Would I have married him without an ERing ?

    YES & no.

    YES because I love him no matter what…. and a ring is just “symbolic”

    BUT NO, because I truly believe that a Ring is part of the process… I am traditional that way tho… I truly do believe that an ERing is a “symbol” of that commitment for the long term.

    Not being able to afford a ring… or outright a couple choosing not to have one in my mind is vastly different from a guy who won’t buy one or cheaps out because he isn’t as interested in the whole “getting engaged” process as the girl is

    That is a whole other ball of wax… and a BIG RED FLAG for the couple IMO

    She is one place in time… and he is somewhere else.  Doesn’t bode well for the future.

     

    Post # 48
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Every guy I ever dated asked me to marry him…without a ring.  So if the ring were absent I would feel like it’s all so hypothetical.  This actually happened when my Fiance asked – he didn’t present a ring right away, and I said (somewhat annoyed), while walking away: “Yes, of course, but without a ring I can’t take you seriously.”  When I saw he had one I was completely shocked, and felt actually really seriously proposed to for the first time!

    Post # 49
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Vegas baby!

    @southsun:  My fiance proposed sans ring. It didn’t bother me at all. We’ve never been very traditional, and things always happen spur of the moment. He had our engagement all planned out into some big ordeal, but one night when it was snowing he took me out on our deck and proposed. We got a little cheapie ring to hold us over till we order my ring. Everyone is different though, I know a lot of women who would die if they weren’t given a ring right away.

    Post # 50
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee

    I’d be totally happy with a ringless proposal if we could go pick one out together later. I think that is a great way to have the best of both worlds, a surprise proposal and the ring you want. But if it was a ringless proposal meaning I would never get an engagement ring, then I would be pretty disappointed.  It is important to me to have a ring I love.

    Post # 51
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    When Fiance proposed we already had my stone (it’s an heirloom) and had gone to some jewelry stores looking at different options to have it set.

    I sort of felt that once we had the ring all set we were basically engaged (because I’m not going to pull apart my grandmother’s ring, give a guy her diamond, and design a ring with him if the engagement question was up in the air) and the proposal would be just a formality and less special.

    I know not all bees involved in the purchase or design of their ring feel that way, but it’s how I felt, so I WANTED a ringless proposal!

    We created our ring together after he proposed and it was a lovely process ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 52
    Member
    623 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My Fiance talked marriage all the time, like he would say things like “when we get married” and I kept reminding him that he never formally asked. Wink  He knew I wanted a ring and when he proposed with the ring, for me it meant that he was serious instead of just talk.

    If he had proposed without a ring and said that we would look together for one, I would have been fine with that too.

    It was important for me to have a ring regardless of when I got it.

    Post # 53
    Member
    4066 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    yes!  for sure.  ๐Ÿ™‚  My dh proposed without a ring.  And then we designed one together.  I would be sad with no ring.

    Post # 54
    Member
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    My Fiance asked me with a cracker jax box. I dumped the box out and there was a cheapy gumball ring at the bottom. We then went shopping. I treausre my gumball ring but I am thrilled to have my Tiffany ring. Fiance received lots of brownie points for creativity.

    Post # 55
    Member
    3949 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d probably think he had been joiking and just laugh off the “proposal”.   No one else would have taken that seriously either.  It could have been any kind of ring, but neither him nor I nor our families would have thought it was serious without the ring. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

    I’d rather be proposed to without a ring than with a super cheap or jokey ring. I’d also rather be proposed to sooner without a ring than have to wait ages while he saved up for something super pricey.

     

    An engagement ring would be lovely for sure but I have very low expectations and I think I’d be okay with just having a wedding ring after getting married ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 57
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I told him NOT to buy an engagement ring since I do not want one.

    Post # 58
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It makes me a little sad that so many bees are saying they wouldn’t take it seriously without a ring. My Fiance would never taunt me like that, by asking without meaning it. He got down on one knee and said “Will you marry me?”  I was pretty sure he meant it lol!

    Post # 58
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee

    View original reply
    rex-tographer:  I feel the same way. I was actually proposed to sans ring a few months ago. Early in to our relationship, I found a ring box of my s/o. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring (many diamonds, not “traditional” engagement ring style) that belonged to s/o’s grandmother. He ended up giving me the ring that day, saying he wanted me to have it. Flashforward a year later and we went on a romantic b+b vacation in Vermont in our own cabin. We had a fun outdoors day followed by a delicious dinner. When we came back to our cabin there was chilled bottle of expensive champagne in the bed. He told me to take out the bottle, I did, and it was engaged with “Will you Marry Me”, I immediately said yes, and he told me why he loved me/ wanted to marry me. I then jokingly asked if the ring was in the ice bucket, and he said no.. I figured you could just wear the one I gave you on your engagement finger for now, and someday I will get you your dream ring.

    I ended up deciding I wasn’t ready. I do not need some multicaret ring, but I do want some planning andd thought to be put into the proposal. Everything was perfect about the proposal, except there was no ring. We had looked at rings together and talked about it, so the whole thing was very confusing. Saving up for a ring is symbolic of many other things that come with a marriage. I totally understand those who do not want a ring/ want to spend money on something different, but for me, I really wanted a ring and my s/o knew that. We are still together and very happy, but sometimes this memory nags at me.

    Post # 59
    Member
    1158 posts
    Bumble bee

    I like the thought that has to go behind the ring. Even if your SO just goes to the closest store and picks any old ring, I like that he made the effort to think it through enough to have made the purchase in advance. For me, personally, I would have been disappointed had he just thought of it all of a sudden and not planned it out to make me feel special.

    Post # 60
    Member
    5046 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I didn’t get a ring and I was perfectly fine with my “in the car on the way home from doing errands” proposal! I love him and that’s all that matters! (though a ring is in the works right now, but he didn’t have one at the time)

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