Post # 1
Hi all,gone Anon for this one, don’t want anything traced back to me. Please forgive the vague nature of this post, I can’t breach privacy laws. Also why I won’t even reveal a sex. I also mean no disrespect when using the word the, as in the child etc…
So I witnessed something today and I think I should report it, my heart is telling me too even though I know it will ruin my career.
First off, I am a nursing student and I am doing my placement in an Aged Care Facilty. Today a resident passed away, I really liked him/Her and I was a it upset. Anyway the residents child lives a distance from the facility. He/She told the facility that they have called the undertaker and they would say their goodbye at the funeral home. As I said, it was a distance but on their way to the funeral home they dropped by the facility to see if he/she was still there, their parent was. The undertaker was there, with the trolley and we were preparing to move the body. We gave the child the privacy to say goodbye.
Me and my supervisor went into the Staff room with the undertaker. The Backstabbing was disgusting “They could have called we had other shit to do” and “Could have fucken viewed him at the funeral home” the look on the poor undertakers face was of pure shock.
Now I know I’m just a student, but I can’t handle this level of disrespect. This a a grieving family of a good man/woman. I am totally disgusted.
I am seriously considering reporting this and throwing away my placement. I live in a remote community, this facility is my only chance. The people who work here are close knit, hence why I would go straight to the CEO. I can’t morally let this go unnoticed or not dealt with.
Is this man worth throwing away my dream career over? I think so. I don’t think I can work with these people anyway.
What would you bees do?
Post # 2
Why would you want to work there anyway with this sort of behaviour?! I say tell
Post # 3
Sorry, damn those “anger typos”
Post # 4
MrsKing212: I don’t think I can….
Post # 5
scaredbee2014: I wouldn’t exactly call that backstabbing more like airing a work grievance. Should they have done it? Probably not and certainly not in front of the undertaker (unless you are not aware of a close relationship between them all). The staff were probably frustrated because from what I understand of aged care there is always more work than staff. The family said one thing and then did another which is disrupting their schedule.
They did not do this in front of the family but in the safe space of the staff room. I really think reporting this is going to do nothing but get you a bad name unfortunately.
And anyone who hasn’t bitched about something work related at work before is either a saint or a liar.
Post # 6
I will have to agree with J-Jaye. They didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe morally, in most people’s opinion, but nothing legally wrong. They didn’t say this to the resident’s family. If you feel the need to report it still, you are a nursing student. You go through the chain of command which is your instructor. Speaking to the CEO without speaking to your instructor is a bigger problem then you might think. You could also get your instructor in trouble. That would lead you to more trouble.
You could also be screwing with the livelihood of another person who has a career, bills to pay, mouths to feed. What if they were just having a bad day? Everyone has them. Not everyone deals with them appropriately all the time. This person has a lot at stake, a lot more than you. You can leave nursing if you feel this isn’t for you, but this person has a career at stake. Granted, it may amount to nothing, but you don’t know that right now.
Start with your instructor and go from there. You could save yourself a lot of heartache and the fear of losing your career. Take it from a long time nurse.
Post # 7
scaredbee2014: I can see why this doesn’t sit right with you, I do agree with the PPs. I’d take this instance as a learning point of not what to do / what you don’t want to be like, unfortunately people will do things and react in a way you don’t agree with, just don’t let stuff like this wear you down.
Post # 8
You’re gong to encounter many, many more ethical dilemmas in your career and they’re going to be a LOT more complicated than this one. This is pretty straight forward IMO. Unless I’ve missed some critical detail no one was harmed, no one was even nearly harmed, a staff member was just engaging in some inappropriate bitching. it’s good that you have an active sense of right and wrong but i think you need to keep a lid on this to be honest.
Post # 9
As long as the actual grieving person didn’t hear, then I wouldn’t say anything to the CEO.
But like you, I’d probably leave… because I couldn’t work with people like that.
Post # 10
I guess if you had any desire to stay, i would say maybe not say anything, just for your benefit, and its true they didnt hurt anyone, yes i do think it was very thoughtless and insensitive of your colleague to say something like that but i dont think its worth ending your or their career over. People will be people, many of which we would not agree or condone their actions, however, if it feels really bad and you are leaving, and they ask you why at the exit interview i would say something like because i dont agree with the attitude of some employees as a parting statement for your peace of mind if its eating a way at you.. Just because generally there’s nothing to lose if you’re leaving anyway
Post # 11
was this your supervisor saying this or the undertaker? sounds like some workplace venting on a busy day and i would let it go. it doesn’t sound like backstabbing at all and it wasn’t done in front of the family.
Post # 12
My dad was in a nursing home for the last month of his life. Heartbreaking for us and very hard to make that decision that we could not care for him at home.
Thank you for being a human being who cares about other people enough to be bothered by something like this.
I do not have much to offer as far as advice. Speaking to your supervisor might be the place to start, but I doubt your supervisor will do anything. Going to the CEO is an option, but only you can decide if you can accept the ramifications.
The sad part is, as you continue in the profession, you are probably going to see more of this.
Post # 13
scaredbee2014: While I do find that disrespectful, I don’t see it as backstabbing or a reason to lose your job over. I had a hard time understanding who was saying it, your immediate supervisor in front of the undertaker? In your post, you sound like a younger person who has just had her eyes opened to the fact that people can be total a$$holes. People can really suck sometimes and I’ve sure had some bad bosses.
Post # 14
So he’s an ass. There are many out there like him. He’s just stupid enough to express those kinds of thoughts outloud, and even if he didnt, he would have still though it and been the same ass. Did the supervisor say that to you?? How did you respond? Personally, I would not make my life miserable and try to ruin him (only try cause I highly doubt this is grounds for firing since really, he did nothing wrong except be an asshole which is not actually a fireable offense). Everday a crap load of people put on a fake face and smile at jobs they hate cause you need that job to live. As long as the residents and family are not aware of this, everyone has to vent, even if he should have saved it to vent to his family or something. Tackless and disrepectful asshole? Yes. Worth potentially making your career and life miserable there and in the smalle town, no.
Post # 15
scaredbee2014: While I agree that is was wrong for him to say that, I don’t think it’s worth losing your job over. I think that perhaps you were upset by this person’s death and this comment maybe pushed you over the edge. Death is difficult to deal with, even as a nurse. As you are just starting your career, you have not been exposed to this as often as your colleagues. Perhaps the person who said this is so used to death and dying that they just viewed this unexpected visit as a hassle in their day.
I would drop it, as going to the CEO may make you look bad and like you’re “tattling”, especially when I don’t believe this is a big deal.