(Closed) Would you say something?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I say something?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1417 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

    I wouldn’t say anything.  I wouldn’t wanna get involved in that potential mess.  Let her deal with it in her own way.  She probably doesn’t want other people to know their business, and might be embarassed to find out that you know.  This could frustrate things for their relationship even further.  I’d leave it alone and just be available if she comes to you.

    Post # 3
    Member
    9521 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    He cannot dictate who her friends are. He’s being rediculous. And no, you shouldn’t say anything to her. This is their business. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    47380 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This is not your problem to solve. The guy is being a bit controlling for me. After all, just because the other fellow (the best friend) has feelings for his girlfriend, doesn’t mean she returns the feelings.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    beetee123:  The male friend is being controllng and ridiculous.  This girl has done nothing wrong.  She is the victim here, yet she is being punished and treated like she can’t be trusted.  I hope the guy comes to his senses, but if not, I hope she has the self-respect to give herself better than what he is offering.

     

    ETA:  You don’t have a dog in this fight, but if you must say anything, try to help the guy understand his girlfriend hasn’t done anything wrong.

    Post # 7
    Member
    584 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I would say something. I’m always getting shamed on the bee for getting in other people’s business, but that’s just the kind of friend I am. If you’ve been there, she could probably use some advice. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I think the most you can do is let her know you care about her and that you’re there if she wants an ear or some input. To try to involve yourself further would be inappropriate and potentially damaging to your relationship with her. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7508 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This isn’t your place. The couple’s relationship and the girl’s relationship with her friend are not your business, they should be talking to each other, not to you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    beetee123:  I would stay out of it if I was you

     

    I don’t think the SO is wrong. I wouldn’t want my FH hanging out with someone who don’t respect me or our relationship. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    beetee123:  If he is truly worried about her leaving him for this other guy, then distancing herself from him will not solve the actual problem that is at hand.  That’s just trying to make her forget about him (which she won’t).  What this girl needs is someone to support her through this, as she has been dealing with the fact that not only is her best friend in love with her, but the fact that he is also suicidal.  She needs to tell both of these men how she truly feels about each, and then be a friend to this other guy no matter what, becuse a true friend is what he needs most.
    There is NEVER an appropriate time or reason to put limitations and restrictions on who someone can and cannot be friends with.  That is being controlling.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I don’t think it would be hurtful or intruding to say something like “hey, hope you’re doing okay.  Just wanted to let you know I’m here if you want to talk.”  I wouldn’t act like you know what exactly is going on (even if you do) because that could annoy her.

    Post # 14
    Member
    964 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    beetee123:  I may ask him his opinion on them staying friends if she is more truthful and open in the future (she tried to hide this information from him).

    What?? That’s not really your business. That is something he should be discussing with her and her only. Stop trying to insinuate yourself into this as the go-between. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    5783 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If your male friend has reached out to SO to talk, then your SO is the one to be his shoulder to lean on at this time. He’s not a bad guy for being insecure about his gf’s friend confessing his love for her BUT he can’t dictate that someone not be friends with another person. The gf hasn’t done anything wrong and asking her to turn her back on a suicidal friend is unfair. Your male friend should trust his gf unless she’s given him valid reason not to and if he’s feeling insecure or unhappy he should be talking directly to his girlfriend. I know you mean well, but I think involving more people will just increase the level of drama. If you are friends with both of them, let them come to you if they want advice or another opinion or even just someone to vent to.

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