(Closed) Would you say something???

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Say something?
    Yes! I'll be looking at my wedding pictures for a LONG time. Don't want to cringe every time I do! : (8 votes)
    35 %
    No. My BM's know what looks best on them so I'll trust their judgment. : (13 votes)
    57 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    900 posts
    Busy bee

    I wouldn’t say anything.  I would be pretty annoyed if I was already wearing something someone else picked out for me and then on top of that, she told me how to wear it or what underwear to put on.  I think there is only so much you can ask of your bridal party.

    Post # 4
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think the only person who can say something is your daughter. However it seems like she has chosen dresses for her BMs and is happy with them, so she probably wont.

    I’d probably make a casual comment to your daughter about it, but that is all.

    Post # 5
    41 posts

    I voted yes, that I’d say something, but I’d try to be really delicate about it. I love my four girls, but if something doesn’t look right, I’d rather tell them about it privately and ask them if they’re comfortable in the undergarments or if they like the fit of the dress and take it from there. I’d approach them individually (so as not to embarass anyone) and discuss it. 🙂

    I think it’s one of those things where, personally, I’d rather know before hand so I can do something about it, as opposed to seeing the pictures later and being like, “Oh my God, I wish I had worn some Spanx,” y’know? My friends are the same way I am, so I would be a little more comfortable talking to them about this.

    It might be smarter to have your daughter talk to her girls about it, ’cause they might be a little more comfortable discussing their flaws in the dress with a close friend. As for the Future Mother-In-Law, I don’t really know how to handle that one.. 🙁

    Post # 6
    3285 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    Not to sound too catty, but I would trust what they think look best…you cannot control everything (which is a good thing, really!) and you know you will look the best, haha. =)

    Post # 7
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I mentioned to my girls that Spanx is our best friend. I mean, I know stuff like that can be offensive, but if I don’t look good or I look bulgy, I WANT to be told!

    If they all have the dresses already, what do you forsee being a solution? It’s not like they can let out the dresses, right? I think you could always say “look, you can see your panty lines! what about spanx?” because “panty lines” is less offensive than “chunk bulge” frankly. There’s always a tactful way to address it.

    But, the pros are pros, and I’m sure they’ll alter them appropriate, right? You coudl always call the shop and say, “look, the dresses were so tight on the girls; i’m concerned they’ll be risque” and talk to the seamstress to see what she thinks. Maybe she already planned on adjusting the dresses. You can talk to your daughter and let her handle it; she should really be the one to address the undergarment issue. Remind them that the photos see EVERYTHING! But, realistically, you can’t just make them wear it. If they are wearing unflattering clothing, whatever.

    Post # 8
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    One indirect way to approach this might be to ‘remind’ the girls to wear the undergarments they plan on wearing at the wedding to their next fitting. That way 1) you can see if that’s what they’ll actually be wearing (who knows, maybe they’ve got the Spanx at home), 2) it’ll be in their minds and they’ll be more likely to notice their own ‘trouble areas’ and 3) you won’t come off as mom-zilla calling all of your daughters’ friends fat. 🙂

    Post # 9
    3098 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I agree with daydream ^ 

    I’m going to do this with my Maid/Matron of Honor, as I noticed that the dress I picked out would require a much more supportive bra, but I don’t know that she noticed that. I’m going to suggest she bring her special wedding bra with her for the next fitting, and hope that gets the point across. 

    Post # 11
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I won’t say anything to my bridal party either.  I have to trust that they know what fits and what flatters and what doesn’t.  As it turns out my bridesmaids have a lil extra weight on them and I was very cognizant of that when picking the style.  I asked for their input and while they haven’t picked out or even tried on the dress, they’ve looked at it online and believe it will be a good cut for them.  I’m sure after alterations your daughter’s BM’s will look great and they’ll get the proper undergarments, no worries!  And if they don’t, oh well, as long as everyone has a good time that stuff doesn’t really matter.

    Post # 12
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would say something to my girls, then. Tactfully, of course. They’d do it with me! Not all my girls were stick-skinny, either but not everyone is fully aware of all the amazing body-smoothing undergarments out there.

    My mom is a 5’6″ and a size 4 and I convinced her to spanx it up, too. She thought i was crazy at first, then i pointed out how the dress was being unflattering on her (even as small as she is) and catching in “all the wrong places” and afterwards she was grateful i said something.

    Your daughter’s friends want to look good, I’m sure! Maybe they just don’t know.

    Post # 13
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m amazed you’ve seen photos of all the bridesmaids in their dresses.  If the photos are that horrid, just show the girls and see what they say.  If it is as bad as you are saying, they will see the bulges and want to do something about it.

    Personally, all my bridesmaids are in their 30s and are savvy enough to wear appropriate undergarments and instruct the seamstress as needed.  

    Post # 14
    2470 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If there is another fitting opportunity I’d casually ask the seamstress waht type of undergarment she thinks would work best.  chances are, because they arent wearing the right thing thats why the outfits are ill fitting

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