Would you say that size is the main thing that matters?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know, I find obsession with rings to be kind of gross. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t love their rings, but there are so many more important things to spend time and energy on.

Post # 62
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee

Goirishgrl :  large diamond with perfect specs? Nah, must be a CZ 

Post # 63
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

Sometimes I feel so blessed to be European: we do not really have an engagement ring culture and if someone was given a ring, the stone/size/color etc doesn’t matter!

My Engagement Ring is small. In fact, smaller than the average promise ring some teenage girl wears. No one ever made any comment about the ringsize because it’s not important here. What’s important is that the ring is a tooken of love.

Post # 65
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

lolac :  I am curious too to find out if this is just a phase – we wont know until later on in life. Regardless, we live in the now and right now we feel these stabs of jealously and judgement. Boy, do they suck. I had no idea being engaged was going to feel like this – I felt since day 1 that my diamond wasn’t “big” enough. I still feel like this and it’s only been 6 months. The only thing that I can take away from this is that it’s a sign for us that we are not 100% happy with what we have. So 2 things can be done 1.do something / change it 2. hope and wait for this to go away. 

And people who say “just be happy your Fiance got you a ring” okay,yes but also we have to be some level of selfish on wanting what WE want on our finger. If your co worker is fine with renting and having a relationship with “visual class” being the most important – then good for her. If that’s not what other people want then good for them. It’s a big thing about you. But its a crazy size-diamond world that we live in. It just seems the norm keeps getting bigger and bigger…

I am curious to see how the women w/o ring envy nor judgement do it – is it just a matter of wearing blinders all day?

Post # 66
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

legallyblonde :  This! Maybe this is a cultural thing, but I really, really don’t get this obsession with rings, and it’s just not a ‘thing’ in my circle of friends. No one cares what ring you have, whether it’s a diamond or not, the size, etcetc. 

Post # 67
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I understand what you mean. My ring was a surprise. My husband chose a beautiful .91 carat solitaire, and my diamond is very good quality. He told me afterwards that he could have gotten a 1.5 carat that was lower quality for the same budget. I have to admit I felt slightly disappointed he told me that, lol. Not to be ungrateful, but I wished he hadn’t said that I almost had a much larger diamond if you know what I mean. I have wondered a few times if sacrificing a little quality for a bigger diamond would really make a big difference in the overall look. However, I keep coming back to how pretty and sparkly my diamond is. Since I didn’t ring shop I can’t say how big of a difference it makes to the naked eye. I guess it all comes down to personal preference. It’s hard to say what I would have chosen if I had been involved in the process. 

Post # 68
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

lolac :  it’s a good thing you feel like you’re being practical, but that really doesn’t mean that someone who spends 40k on a ring and ‘still rents’ is impractical. You have no idea what her financial situation is. 

I get that it’s human to be competitive, but over a ring? It’s…shallow (you already know this!), but worse than that, it’s not healthy for you. While it’s fine to acknowledge that we all have our baser instincts, I really do think we need to try to be better than that. Theres always going to be someone out there who has it better than you in every objective, measurable way. 

Post # 69
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

isabee :  I wear a small ring, and I do not envy anyone for their large rings. It’s not a thing that seems worth envying to me. I do sometimes catch myself ‘envying’ people who are ultra successful in their careers (think Elon Musk, other serious overachievers), but then I remind myself that they didn’t get there by wasting time being envious of others- they just worked their asses off with single minded determination. I’m sure we have all been envious of something or the other, but the less time we expend on it, the better off and happier our lives generally are. 

Post # 70
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Sometimes I find myself slipping into the trap of comparing and wishing for more but then I remind myself that there are always people out there that’s richer, smarter, more good looking or whatever. No matter how successful or how much you have, there’s always someone who’s got more. My fiance and I travel a lot and that has helped me open my eyes and I realize that to many people, I’m rich but I don’t think that way because I see the one’s who have more. You always compare yourself to the one above you and never further down the ladder. At least that’s how it is for me. So sometimes I have to remind myself these things and then I know that there’s no point in comparing and I feel content with what I have.

Post # 71
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I have had comments on how small my ring is.   The reason we picked it was because of the cut of the main diamond.   It is so bright and colorful in the sun.   The design is simple.   I have seen large diamonds with over the top designs which look dull but you know what at the end of the day it is your own ring.   Be happy.

Post # 72
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Honestly for me the most important thing is the setting. I really like unique settings. The stones are secondary to me! But it’s all personal preference! πŸ™‚

Post # 73
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

All that matters to me is what I think looks good for myself. I don’t really care much about any of the C’s. I’ve actually never thought about what others might think of it. 

Post # 74
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

lolac :  I did the same as you.  With his budget, my husband could have bought a larger diamond, but that wasn’t the prime objective for either of us.  Quality was very important to him, and I also prefer a better quality stone over size. 

Post # 75
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Hi Bees :).  I felt same way for a little bit when my best friend got e-ring ( 5years payments .. she said but not sure how much / how big but It was so huge and beautiful maybe at least 3.00 ct 😊) And I’m so happy for her and her fiancé that time. It was 6 months ago. Then speedy married in two months after the engagement party without wedding. 

   I have been married before and we’ve been together almost 5 years. No hurry to get Marry but suddenly we had opportunity to have extra income that we could spend  and I gave him hint for πŸ’ and we were started to look.

But I had feeling like little pressure about what kind/ size etc in my mind since my bestie got huge rock and our mutual friends can maybe compare our e-rings or something.   But my fiancé and I went to jewelry expo and got lots of education and I knew what was my requirements and my fiancé had his requirements too.

 We both didn’t want to give up our own requirements for my e-ring. ( GIA, XXX, perfect cut, at least 1.00 ct, round, low profile due to my C/S contact with clients service and under the budget etc..)

i tried on VVS1 G xxx perfect cut 0.75 H&A with so much fire at expo and so shocked. I’ve never seen that kind diamon stone before… but it was too much bling and fires and was little small for my hand.  So I was not settle with that beautiful stone and I think I still had mix feeling about how big  my gf’s e-ring was.. 

 A month later I found one! I didn’t mind to  compromise   quality to be little lower than vs and bump up to 1.00 ct. 

now im so so pleased with my e-ring and I know it’s much much smaller than her ring or some of my client’s rings but I am so excited and happy to have my ring with proud feeling. 😊   I have no chance to meet my bestie and her husband after I got ring yet… but I know I won’t be shy or sad that Mine is not huge rock! 

so no more pressure to show / wear my 1.13 ct xxx perfect cut and fire and shine ring.   it took me for awhile to process to get over the pressure but I’m now too shy sometime to wear in some places because it shines so much 😊

And how successful to been marry is the bigger deal than ring at the end. So I’m so glad that I got over the feeling.

Sorry about long post. 

  

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