Post # 1

Member
509 posts
Busy bee
Not sure what to do. I got invited to a baby shower of a co-worker that I wasn’t close to at all (and I can’t make it). We worked at the same school (we are both teachers) but didn’t speak much this year, just b/c our schedules were different and we just didn’t see each other. We were friendly when we did see each other but only made small talk a few times this entire school year.
The thing is, I am leaving this current school and moving to another school. It was nice that I was included but won’t ever see her again b/c we don’t even hang out. I was actually shocked that I got an invite (didn’t even know she had my home address – thinking she got it from the staff list). Do I need to send a present? I wouldn’t mind if I weren’t so tight on money. I can send a gift (and usually would) but just wanted to see if it was really necessary. Thanks.
Post # 3

Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I wouldn’t feel obligated to send a gift if I wasn’t going to make it to someone’s shower – especially if it was for someone I wasn’t close with.
Post # 4

Member
219 posts
Helper bee
If you weren’t close and you will never see her again, I think you are fine skipping a gift here, especially if money is tight.
Post # 5

Member
509 posts
Busy bee
@Rouquine: I used to think that if I were invited to a shower, I HAD to send a gift even if I didn’t go. But, the older I get, I don’t feel this way as much, especially if I’m not really friends with the person or close at all. I think she was being nice to include me since we were in the same department.
Post # 6

Member
509 posts
Busy bee
@coastalbee88: Yeah, unfortunately money is really tight. That’s why I wanted to post on here and get advice.
Post # 7

Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@Mrs.Lotus: I used to think the same way as you. I think it’s because I would feel bad. I just wouldn’t worried about in this situation.
Post # 8

Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
There were people who didn’t come to my bridal shower (family & friends) who didn’t send me a gift. Not a big deal at all in my opinion…I don’t expect anything. I think same goes for baby showers. You shouldn’t feel obligated to get her anything…especially if you aren’t even close to her.
Post # 9

Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
@Rouquine: +1
If you’re worried, you could send a “sorry I couldn’t make it/congrats on the baby” card.
Post # 10

Member
509 posts
Busy bee
Thanks for all the replies ladies. Really appreciate it!
Post # 11

Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t think you’re obligated to at all. And if people were truly expected to send a gift even if they couldn’t make it, I suspect shower guest lists would rival Facebook friend lists in length…
Post # 12

Member
82 posts
Worker bee
I don’t think you should buy a gift, but maybe send just a congratulating card with well wishes. The card doesn’t need a gift card or anything in it, just a nice message.