(Closed) Would you send your daughter to an all-girls school?

posted 10 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Would you send your daughter to all-girls school?
    Yes : (21 votes)
    19 %
    No, I prefer the idea of public school : (37 votes)
    34 %
    No, but I would send her to a co-ed private school : (32 votes)
    29 %
    Depends : (20 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    7835 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I send my daughter to public schools.  I feel its important to have her be part of our community and go to the school that all the other kids on the street go to.  Also, Im a big believer in diversity, and I’m afraid that if I sent her to a private school there might not be enough. (economically, but culturally and socially as well).  I don’t think i would like the idea of single gender classes, but maybe if it was only some of the classes it might be ok.

    Post # 63
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @GWaR – I may be idealizing, but I think you understate the difference it makes to remove actual boys from the environment.  It’s one thing to be interested in the opposite sex.  It’s another thing entirely to structure one’s entire day around getting the attention of that one guy in sixth period.  And the next.  And the next. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @Mrs.DG If that were true, that would mean that any situation involving girls without boys would be that way.  I have several co workers and friends that went to all girl schools and experienced the same things as I did.  Not to mention I experienced it in an all-girl dorm in college.  I’m not convinced that the cattiness comes from the boys, most of the time it was driven by totally stupid things (i.e. I wore the “wrong” color ribbon in my hair so I got jumped after school).

    Post # 65
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @phedre – I don’t think MrsDG said it vanished entirely, only that cutting boys out of the mix decreased the level of cattiness.

     

    Post # 66
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @teaandtoast she said “by and large disappeared” so I took that to mean that it was, for all intents and purposes, gone.  I understand that there will be bitches in every environment but the point I was trying to make is that co-worker A who went to an all-girls school had roughly the same amount of “cattiness” as I did at the co-ed.

    I do think that for some girls removing boys from the equation does limit the drama and problems.  I know girls that had good experiences at all-girl schools as well.  I just don’t think it’s the solution for everyone and sometimes it’s hard to know.

    Post # 67
    Member
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I guess we just had different experiences phedre.  For me I was basically lifted from a lower middle class situation to an upper class, upper middle class situation.  I’m not sure if that had anything to do with my perception.

    Here is a really nice unbiased review of single sex vs co-ed education.  The evidence is far from conclusive, but the Socio-Emotional development advantage of single sex education does seem to be favored:

    http://www2.ed.gov/rschstat/eval/other/single-sex/index.html

    Post # 68
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @phedre – Agree that it totally depends.  So many difference factors go into each kid and each school.

    Post # 69
    Member
    4122 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I put depends. Where we are, grade level, what programs are offered, and what my daughter wants.

    I went to K-8 co-ed private school. Public High School. My other option was a private HS. I looked at a few, the only one “worth” attending to me was an all girls but the reason I chose public was because it had courses and programs offered I couldn’t do at the all-girls one. Conversely, I had friends choose a private same sex school because they offered advanced programs in academic courses they sought that were better than the public schools. I also know boys who chose all boy schools because the academics were more challenging and they all ended up in schools like Notre Dame and Yale.  I’ll never say never 🙂

    I will say, I will work my arse off to send my kids to a co-ed private school through at least HS. After that it will be up to them just like it was for me.

    eeniebeansI touch on this in the textbook thread, but I actually had a more well rounded education culturally and academically in private school than I did in Public School. It all depends on where you send your kid and where you live. I was closer with the kids in my neighborhood because I went to private school. NONE of them hung out together in school. We didn’t in HS either when we did go to the same school. 🙂

    Post # 71
    Member
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I came from no money and was required to do “payback”, which meant that I worked on the switchboard (evenings after school) and in the kitchen.  Everyone knew I was the scholarship kid.  Most of the girls got Beemers for their 16th birthday and jet-setted around for the various vacations.  I was a little envious of their status, but I never really felt judged by them. I did have to say no to some wonderful invitations, sadly… and that was always hard 🙁

    We all wore the same uniforms and had the same rules, so I think that helped equalize us.  Like I said, I was a jock and scholar and I really think that helped define me much more than my socio-economic status.  I made sure that my insecurity about my station did not color how I interpreted other people’s responses to me, and I found that very helpful!

    Post # 72
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee

    I have to say, I hated my (co-ed) private school because I was so much less wealthy than everyone else in my class.  I was literally the only person who didn’t have a car of my own out of our entire senior class. 

    However, my mother LOVED her girls-only private high school, and would have sent me to one in a heartbeat if there had been a good one in our area.  She talks really glowingly about the way that it allowed women to form friendships that weren’t threatened by competition for attention from boys, and to thrive academically without pressure not to seem too smart.  And she’s still close friends with lots of people she went to school with, 35 years later.

    Post # 73
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Having attended both private school and public school, there is no amount of money that would convince me to send my future children to private school. Nor would I ever send them to a school that was exclusive to one gender only. The private schools I went to were cliquey and if your parents happened to be not as well off, then you would suffer the brunt of it from your classmates. The reason I was in private schools was not beacuse my family was rich by any means but they wanted me to get a religious education that wasn’t found elsewhere. Then when they decided it was too much money and too far away for me to go everyday, then they transfered me to public school in the middle of high school. That was culture shock to say the least because there was nothing taught at the private school *at all* that would begin to prepare me for the non-sheltered “real world” of public school or life after school for that matter. I also feel like I got a much better education overall at the public school because I could study regular subjects without religion completely taking over things that it wasn’t related to at all. In private school, you wouldn’t guess that they could turn regular math or social studies into a religion class but they all found a way and I didn’t get anything out of it because my intention was never to become a religious/private school teacher or pastor which is what they were training kids to be as if it was a boot camp for that and nothing else that would be found anywhere in the real world. I would never in a million years subject my own children to that type of education or anything similar.

    Post # 74
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee

    Definitely not. Too much money for no reason no offense. I went to public school got a good education, and am doing great at my mid sized college about to enter a great grad school for law. It really depends on the girl. I’ve known soame thta ave gone and were crazy to see boy and then went even crazier at college when they dormed their because they weren’t used to having boys around all the time. However, I have known some that its worked for them. I wouldn’t send or want to go to an all private girl school, but again it depends on the girl, and her maturity level to handle the fact that they will be socialize with bys less.

    Post # 75
    Member
    1023 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Nope. I think gender integration is important. Yes, there are issues that affect girls’ and boys’ performance in school, but sending them to seperate institutions doesn’t neccessarily remedy the situation.

    As for private versus public. I live in a state that has a pretty good public education system and I think my high school was relatively good. On the flip side there aren’t a ton of good private schools here imo, they tend to be religious ones with few resources. It depends on your location.

    Post # 76
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Also, when you segregate the genders, the only thing that you accomplish is inhibiting the ability for girls and boys to be able to interact with each other at any point. That does not benefit anyone in the long run. If anything, it hinders people from learning any intersocial skills that are necessary to survive in the real world. Once these kids leave school, they won’t be in a world that is all-girls or all-boys, thus they won’t know what to do or how to act.

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