(Closed) Would you sign a prenup?

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Would you sign a pre-nup if it were given to you before the wedding with no discussion whatsoever?
    HELL NO! I'd walk away! : (132 votes)
    49 %
    Yes! I would do anything to marry the man I love! : (94 votes)
    35 %
    other-explain below : (44 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @Miss Tattoo: After watching a movie where a pre-nup came up, we briefly talked about it. But since we’re both poor students neither of us has any assets to protect. I agree though, it seems weird to me because it’s like you’re expecting the relationship to fail.

    Post # 4
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted yes because he actually has a lot of family assets that I honestly have no right to, but I could probably get in a divorce; however, I can be very spiteful if I’m angry (which I probably would be if we were going to get a divorce). Also, I wouldn’t want it just thrown on me. We’d have to talk about it first, and since I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife, I’d want him to agree to take care of me just a little until I could get back on my feet. But I totally understand where it would be hard to take if it was out of the blue and right before the wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Prenups seem so depressing 🙁 I’d feel awful, but I am a very sentimental person lol

    Post # 6
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I agree. I can understand if someone was burned by a previous marriage that they might want one, but for myself personally, I can’t imagine wanting one/signing one.

    There was an article on glamour about divorce insurance that seems pretty similar as far as expecting your marriage to fail. If I had any doubts/concerns, then I wouldn’t be getting married. They even offer a gross divorce probability calculator (we scored in the average probability range…I had to try it):

    http://wedlockdivorceinsurance.com/Divorce_ProbabilityA.html

    While I was watching My Big Friggin Wedding the other day (and the one groom to be kept saying “no pre-nup, no wedding!”), I thought a bit more about pre-nups and I really strongly feel like that is something that needs to be discussed BEFORE the proposal/planning begins. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I voted Yes but not because I would do anything for the man I love. Fiance and I actually considered having a pre-nup. I don’t see it as you are expecting the relationship to fail but more as a protection of your assets (especially things like retirement, IMO). Fiance and I both have divorced parents and in both cases one of our parents took way more than they should have from the other (again, retirement being the big one). Fiance and I both have good careers and make our own money so it seemed like a good idea to secure what was ours. Let’s face it ladies, we never know what will happen. Women today have more earning potential than they have ever had. We need to protect what we work for regardless of whether our marriage lasts forever or not. Of course, Fiance and I have been discussing this since I am the one who brought it up. He is fine with it and I don’t think it needs to go overboard until someones feelings gets hurt. Just the basics that obviously belong to a certain person. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee

    My Fiance and I will be signing a prenup… my philosophy is that it’s a heck of a lot easier to plan a divorce when we still love each other and can have a civil, objective discussion. We live in an equity property state (not a community property state) so it is very important to us that Fiance and I decided how to divide the assets, not a judge/jury.

    Plus, I had a few friends whose parents went through awful drop-down-drag-out divorces during middle/high school, and that type of environment is just totally unfair to your kid. These were not divorces where abuse was involved, but where $$$ and kids were bargaining chips to manipulate.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Miss Tattoo: I usually agee with you but I disagree with you on this one Miss Tattoo. My SO and I both have assets and I have assets that have been in my family for generations that are simply off limits. Whatever we acquire or earn during the marriage is fair game. Why would someone be entitiled to something  I had prior to ever meeting? Hmmm no. We are disclosing everything to one another and in most cases we will be listed as POD unless it is something that belongs to the family and will continue to be passed to my relatives.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    There are tons of scenarios that are way less dramatic than the one you described. Many couples enter into a pre-nup process collaboratively and with mutual respect at heart. We have one that we drafted together to protect both ourselves and each other if things don’t work out (which, of course, we don’t expect to happen). It was wonderful learning for us to sit down and have those hard conversations and totally worth it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I agree with @MissBoston.  I will be signing something akin to a prenup because my DFi owns a business.  I think its more funny than anything, and it’s not like I’m signing it because we’re planning on getting divorced.  Basically it’s just going to state that if we do end the marriage at some point, I can’t take over the company and run it into the ground to make bank.  I’m fine with signing it – but I hope DFi remembers to get this done more in advance than the day of the wedding! Tongue out  

    Post # 13
    Member
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    We are signing one. We both come from a lot of money and need to think about not just us but our families when it comes to this. You never know what’s going to happen in life and while it might not be romantic its also not a bitter horrible thing to do. In our situation it would be a selfish irresponsible thing to not do.

    Post # 14
    Member
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I signed one and have no issues with them. I don’t expect our marriage to fail, so as far as I am concerned it’s his security blanket after his ex put him through a nasty divorce.

    Post # 15
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We’re also signing one.  We didn’t look at it as planning a divorce, but protecting assets we had before the marriage, and which we’ll share during the marriage.  I’m also a resident of Virginia, and in our state, you can’t shove a prenup at your future spouse the day of.  There’s a grace period, and we both had to have separate attorney’s.  It’s actually going really smoothly and I’m glad we’re doing it.  

    Post # 16
    Member
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    In our situation there is no need since I am the bread winner. But with some of my exes who come from very wealthy families, I know I would have needed to sign one and thats okay. I have no right to money that isn’t mine.

    I don’t see a pre-nup as expecting the marriage to fail any more than life insurance as expecting someone to die. Fiance has life insurance and I am glad JUST IN CASE. I view prenups in the same way.

    The topic ‘Would you sign a prenup?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors