(Closed) Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
    If my FI asked me to sign a prenup, that would be like planning for divorce. I would break it off. : (50 votes)
    21 %
    Yes, I think it's wise to sign a prenup. : (77 votes)
    32 %
    If the circumstances surrounding the prenup were somehow non-divorce-related, then yes. : (47 votes)
    20 %
    I would sign it to protect my own assets in the event of divorce. : (46 votes)
    19 %
    Other. : (20 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Melini: Not necessarily.  An inheretance received beforehand usually is not divided.  But one received afterward one is married could be considered joint assets…

    Post # 48
    Member
    8736 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We will be signing one.

    He has a lot of family assets and I have some family assets as well as family property that is very important to me and my family.

    I don’t see it as “planning for divorce” I see it as being responsible.

    It’s like buying car insurance, you aren’t “planning to be in an accident” you are just protecting yourself if that were to happen.

    Same with disability insurance and life insurance to some extent.

    Post # 49
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    as Catholics we wouldn’t even consider it. I agree that it’s like planning for divorce.

    Post # 50
    Member
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I voted other, it depends on the situation and why.  If my husband was a millionare and was like if we divorce you get support for the kids and like 5 million, I’d be like ok that’s fair.  Or lik ethe 1 million for every yr you’re married.  As long as its fair (and its not the you get NOTHING) and its b/c one of us has a lot to lose. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Lmao were broke this would never come up for us and I honestly can’t imagine many people in real life who aren’t super rich have to worry on that

    Post # 52
    Member
    682 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I asked Darling Husband to sign one. And he did with no problems. Our pre-nup has provisions for him in the event of the marriage ending. My mother was very close to dying when he asked me to marry him. She had a massive insurance policy, to which I was the sole heir. She wanted to make sure that I would have plenty of money to live off of if we didn’t work out. Only because my mom married young and hers did not work out. She had to flee an abusive relationship with 3 small children and no means to support us. She wanted to make sure that would not happen to me. She died 10 months after we married and the money is in an account that I have never touched. But I do plan to take out enough to cover our upcoming honeymoon.

    Post # 53
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee

    @LondonAmericana: i actually don’t believe in being married “by law” when i get married there will be no legal documents involved. i don’t see what the government has to do with my commitment to my man.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    As a lawyer, you’d think I’d be completely in favor of prenups, but I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s like planning for our doom.  My fiance is in law school, as well, so it’s not like I’d be surprised if he said, “Hey, let’s consider this” – it is, after all, how we’ve both been trained to think.  So I don’t think I would be offended if he presented one, unless there was something very odd in the manner in which he presented it.

    Neither of us has substantially more assets than the other, so I don’t think one is necessary in our situation.  But they have become a lot more common even among couples who aren’t in hugely different financial situations before the marriage.  It’s just a matter of personal preference.  And you can’t deny they are very practical.  I mean, everyone loved each other before they got divorced, you know?  I’m sure none of those people ever thought they’d need a prenup either.  And I will say, I have seen nothing drain money out of a person quite like a drawn-out divorce proceeding.

    I have heard some people say that a prenup might even make people more likely to get a divorce because everything is already “worked out” legally, and it’s easier for the couple to split.  I think that idea is mostly a crock.  It depends on the situation, but if the couple is actually emotionally invested in the relationship, I don’t think having the legal issues worked out on paper necessarily makes it any easier for them to leave each other.

    Post # 55
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee

    I would not sign it. I would leave it up to the inquiror to accept that or call off the marriage.

    Pre-nups are not for individuals who “bought a condo” in their 20s and want to protect themselves for their future spouse. Pre-nups are to potect people in 2nd marriages, or people with existing children, or people with large or family businesses.

    To tell a finance or fiancee that you don’t intend to share any of your existing money or assets with them is quite selfish. most people save and invest money (in stocks, property, etc.) IN ORDER TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND LIFE. Not to hoard and hide it from one’s spouse and children. Or to have a “payout bonus” upon divorce.

    Post # 56
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We did not. My accountant wanted me to and I spoke to a matrimonial lawyer about drawing one up. New husband and I are not young, and I have 2 houses (one is an investment property) and a decent portfolio (though not that big- it won’t take me through retirement). I make considerably more than he does at the moment. However the attorney told me that anything you enter a marriage with is yours unless specified. We are keeping separate checking accounts and filing separately. There will be no merging of our assets. Neither of have kids and they are not in our future. When I mentioned pre-nuptial he was cool about it, but then got kind of upset so I figured I would not push it. My husband is so generous and kind I felt bad about bringing it up. But things can happen. My friend who is a shrink tells all her woman patients to keep a “cash stash”- savings for an unforeseen emergency and hide it!

    Post # 57
    Member
    3621 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think they can be really beneficial to couples who have a lot of assets. I also think in the event that things don’t work out they make everything very simple.

    My Fiance owns a company, and at one point was going to join into a partnership. There was a lot of talk about pre-nups. I would have signed it. It wasn’t just protecting my Fiance from me taking something that wasn’t rightfully mine, but it was also protecting his partners in case I went crazy. In addition it protected me from his partners in case something terrible happened between them and my Fiance.

    In the end, they never did a partnership and now I don’t believe I’ll be signing one. I still would, if it came up. I think they’re smart. I can say now that I’d never go crazy biatch on his ass, but depending on how everything went down? I might! It’s not really in my character to do that, but under certain circumstances, you can’t predict your actions.

    Post # 59
    Member
    1317 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I voted “if the circumstances we right, I would” as in if there were children from a past marriage that needed to be protected financially. We don’t have any children (yet) and there was no reason to even think of getting a prenup. But this thread had got me thinking about our current financial management and how I need to take a more active role in it. When we first started living together, I insisted on having seperate accounts. It’s been that way ever since, yet if something were to happen, I would not be able to continue paying for our bills with just my account since I only work a few hours a week. 

    On the flip-side, I wish I had gotten a prenup in my previous marriage. I was stupid enough to just abandon everything, and if we had a prenup, I would have been protected. No one goes into a marriage expecting divorce, but coming from a person who’s been there — it’s ugly. My ex wanted everything — from the bed I had since I was a teenager, to my desktop, his desktop, and the new laptop I bought him. It wasn’t nice and I just wanted it to end and so I gave it all.

    Post # 60
    Member
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would for the reasons that MapleBecky outlined (:

    Post # 61
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Sron: Pre-nups are not for individuals who “bought a condo” in their 20s and want to protect themselves for their future spouse. Pre-nups are to potect people in 2nd marriages, or people with existing children, or people with large or family businesses.

    People choose to get prenups for many different reasons, including assets built previously or to protect inheritances.

    To tell a finance or fiancee that you don’t intend to share any of your existing money or assets with them is quite selfish. most people save and invest money (in stocks, property, etc.) IN ORDER TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND LIFE. Not to hoard and hide it from one’s spouse and children. Or to have a “payout bonus” upon divorce.

    You could flip this around easily – to tell a spouse that you want their money or assets they earned prior to being with you can be selfish, and yet many many people do just that in the absence of a prenup.  I believe that in some states, if you want to protect assets earned pre-marriage without a prenup, you’d need to not touch it (not add to it or use it), which means that people sign prenups is order to share the money during the marriage rather than hoard it to protect it as you suggest.  Of course it all depends on local law.  Where I live, this wouldn’t matter and they can still reach at it for an “equitable division” if you don’t have a prenup.

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