Post # 62
Fi and I make the same amount. Honestly I think prenups are just a way of saying “I don’t trust you not to kill me in a divorce because I don’t trust you not to leave.” So then why are you marrying the person. But coming from a family who has never been rich or never had assets then I think I am a bit naive on this. But when I marry someone I am saying “I trust you with my life.” I can’t say that and then add “but I don’t trust you with my money.”
Post # 63
I would sign one. But, it would need to have a clause in it stating that if the marriage ended in divorce because he cheated, or he abused me, then it wouldn’t apply. I’d be damned if I gave everything to someone who would bring me home an STD or a broken cheekbone and have crap to show for it.
Post # 64
It would depend on what we had going into it and the person
My ex of 6 years came from a super rich family, I am not rich. Had there been marriage there would have been a prenup, and I would have been GLAD to sign one since his family thought I was a gold digger anyways. It would have been proof that I didn’t care.
The man I’m with now? He got SCREWED by his ex wife for tons of money. He got out and shockingly with no bitterness towards marriage or trust. Prenups were never even mentioned for us.
I probably would have signed one with him had he asked, but only for his property and his pension. Those should be his anyways.
Post # 65
I would sign one. I’m not sure if we will or not, it’s really up to my Fiance. He has many more assets than I do. I don’t really have anything to protect.
It would not make me question my FI’s confidence in our future marriage. My Fiance gave me 49% of his business (which he has grown since he was just 14 years old) and we’re not even married yet. That shows he has an astounding amount of faith in our relationship and trusts me a great deal.
If I were to file for divorce, I think it’s fair that I should not end up with the house or car or anything else my Fiance owned before we were married. If I were to up and leave he should keep what is his. The prenup should also state that if my Fiance were to be the one to file for divorce or was to cheat on me, I should then be entitled to more, since he would be responsible for ending the marriage. Any prenup we sign will be fair for both of us.
I am not afraid to sign a prenup because I am very, very confident in our relationship, but I also know that if, God forbid, we were to get a divorce it would be fair and protect us both.
Post # 66
I voted other because Yes I will sign it, still I will be insulted and mention that to him, because if he wants one he will be paying for it, it costs at least $2000 in Oz, just for the legal advice etc required for it to be legally binding, and that money could be going to the honeymoon, the wedding, the mortgage etc.
Post # 67
We are signing one because it is important to my mom that my inheritance from her and my dad be protected in the case of a divorce. FH did not object. Other than that we are broke and have no assets!
Post # 68
I would sign one. I wouldn’t be offended if Fiance asked me to, and I would hope he wouldn’t be offended if I asked him to. We aren’t planning to have one drawn because lawyer fees, etc are a bit hard to swallow.
We own a home together, but he provided the downpayment. If we split up – and discussing what might happen if we did doesn’t mean I think we will – who will keep it? Will we sell it, and he’ll recoup the downpayment, and we’ll split the profit after that? Does he expect to receive all the profit in that circumstance? Are we going completely 50/50? These were important things for us to talk about when we were purchasing our home.
I don’t think discussing expectations like “what would happen to the house” are damning your relationship to fail. It sets out clear expectations and is just another thing to discuss. Life, and marriage, is full of tough questions. This is just another one of them.
Post # 69
not signing one because it’s like planning for a divorce is about as foolish as making choices based on superstitions. we all hope that we don’t get divorced, but you can’t predict the future.
my Fiance makes much more money than I do, and he probably always will. therefore, I told him it was up to him whether he wanted a prenup. he said he did not want one.
but if he asked me to, I would understand.
Post # 70
I don’t think I would have lasted in a relationship with someone from a hugely different financial background than myself and neither of us really has anything to protect with such an agreement.
Post # 71
Like another poster said, most of us have car insurance? Do you thinking having it will cause you to have an accident? Life insurance, health insurance, you name it. Its precautionary. Most people do not get married with the intension of divorcing but 50% of marriages end. Most people also marry more than once so i think its just prudent. Years ago after reading this article from Suze Orman it shifted my thinking on prenups.
Post # 72
If we had assets we probably would.. as it stands neither of us have anything to lose!
Post # 73
I am a person not a contract and not a negotiation. My 1st wedding I was a 23yr old idiot and agreed to be married non-denominational….our wedding does not count spiritually. I still did not ask for a thing in the divorce.
This wedding I am older, wiser and know what I want. I will be 30 and we are doing it properly in the church with God watching. A pre-nup is a lack of trust plain and simple. What’s next putting a GPS on my body when I go out, calling to confirm my whereabouts?????
If you think “what if” you should not be getting married. 1st time I thought “what if” and I realized I wouldn’t care….should have listened to myself and not married. With my fiance I never think what if b/c there is no what if. If I had a billion dollars I’d bet every last cent that we will be together until death do we part.
Post # 74
I don’t think prenups are a bad idea. When half of marriages end in divorce, it’s naive not to do it. I don’t think it’s hypocritical because even if you enter the marriage with the intent to stick it out for better or worse– what if the “worse” is that your husband decides to leave you or develops a drug problem or starts beating you or changes his fundamental beliefs or something crazy? You can’t know what the future will bring. But you can hope for the best and plan for the worst.
Post # 75
Yes, I will and I am. In South Africa you have a choice between 3 different types of marriage contracts, I won’t explain them all, basically we opted for a pre-nup which allows each to handle their own estate. So, if hubby starts a business and goes bankrupt, the creditors can’t touch my assets because I have my own estate, but when the marriage ends who ever has the smallest estate has claim on half of the difference of the estates (the accrual system).
This protects you both from the bank an from one another! The thing is, you cannot go into marriage thinking that nothing can ever happen, sure, it’s what you believe in and hope for, but you need not put your financial well-being on the line to prove it. For us this was the best option, esp. since we plan on starting our own businesses one day, but it’s a very personal and situation specific decision.
@bklynbridetobe: I like your reasoning about the car insurance, its so true!
Post # 75
Blizzard94 : I would not even have a discussion with you i would walk away immediately. You not signing one shows the man you love his money more than him period.