(Closed) would you stay or would you go?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2175 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I would do, because you sound miserable and resentful. Those are hard things to fix in a relationship. If you love him and want to make it work forever, you need to communicate these things to him and plan how to change them.  If not, there’s your sign.

Post # 5
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@creative:  I wouldn’t be with someone like that. I need to respect the person I’m with and I don’t see how you can. Don’t stay with someone just because you put in the time.

Post # 6
1653 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

He seems way too immature. If my parents were paying for most of FI’s expenses and he wasn’t grateful, his ass would get kicked to the curb.

Post # 7
1365 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

He needs to grow up.  He doesn’t sound like he’s contributing much to your relationship.

If what I just said made you mad, you may want to consider staying but it doesn’t sound like he wants to change.

Post # 8
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

He sounds like he has some growing up to do. It’s entirely up to you if you want to stick with someone like that…but I personally wouldn’t.

Post # 10
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d go.   He seems to be neither understanding nor appreciative.  

Post # 13
1365 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@creative:  But there’s more than not just paying bills.  He’s not respecting you or your parents.

He may not be horrible but that doesn’t make him right.  After 8 years I broke up with an ex who was brilliantly smart (and still is the smartest person I’ve ever known) and who is generally a nice guy.  But at the time, he lacked focus and ambition and wasn’t sure if he could ever get married, so I walked. 

He is married to someone else who is right for him and same goes for me.  Just because someone isn’t a bad person doesn’t mean you need to stay.  You should be happy and proud to be with him, not annoyed.

Post # 14
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Uh, move on. You’re a smart girl and deserve a lot more than a dependent man-child with poor personal hygiene. Do you really want that guy to be the father of your children? That’d be a big order of “nope” with a side of “definitely not, thanks” for me….

Post # 16
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I get the feeling you live in another country from the way you talk, so there may be a cultural difference from what I am about to say….


in my mind, I want a partner in life not a burden. If my boyfriend/husband wanted me to pay ALL the bills simply because he did not want to work, then I would leave. Staying in a situation like that would make me feel unappreciated amd disrespected.



of course if my SO was sick/injured/physically unable to work then that is a different story. Currently my SO is finishing up school and working full time. This means less time for me, but he has responsibilities. And contributing money to our home is one of them! 

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