Post # 1
Member
8 posts
Newbee
If you had been with someone for 6 years and you were both university students.
And for more than at least 10 months, your male partner had decided to depend on you, what would you feel? My parents are academics, while his did are not. However, his are traveling the world, while mine are paying my education (and HIS education!!!!).
80% of our monthly expenses are payed by my parents or me and he refuses to ackknowledge that he should be thankful to my parents or that in our future something has to change. He literally insisted that I am crazy and that paying for 80% of our bills is normal.
ON TOP OF THAT he refuses to brush his teeth daily and sometimes has HORRIBLE dragon breath.
AM I CRAZY TO expect more out of life than that? ON tuesday I am applying for another (my FIRST) job, but it is 600 km away. What would YOU do?!?!
THANK you for YOUR answer! I am 26 years old and so scared to mess up my live with the wrong decision.
Post # 3
Member
2175 posts
Buzzing bee
Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I would do, because you sound miserable and resentful. Those are hard things to fix in a relationship. If you love him and want to make it work forever, you need to communicate these things to him and plan how to change them. If not, there’s your sign.
Post # 4
Member
8 posts
Newbee
However, I argued with him today and he does not understand that paying for ALL bills can be stressfull. Can a relationship be saved were only one person understand REAL LIFE(paying electricity + rent + phone bills)?
Post # 5
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee
@creative: I wouldn’t be with someone like that. I need to respect the person I’m with and I don’t see how you can. Don’t stay with someone just because you put in the time.
Post # 6
Member
1653 posts
Bumble bee
He seems way too immature. If my parents were paying for most of FI’s expenses and he wasn’t grateful, his ass would get kicked to the curb.
Post # 7
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee
He needs to grow up. He doesn’t sound like he’s contributing much to your relationship.
If what I just said made you mad, you may want to consider staying but it doesn’t sound like he wants to change.
Post # 8
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
He sounds like he has some growing up to do. It’s entirely up to you if you want to stick with someone like that…but I personally wouldn’t.
Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
Well we are both going to university, but I submitted by final degree and he will take at least 4 months. He refuses to even acknowledge the fact. We have been together from 19-26.
telephone bill
Post # 10
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
I’d go. He seems to be neither understanding nor appreciative.
Post # 11
Member
8 posts
Newbee
How is it ok to go, if he is not REALLY horrible? Most marriage fail, because of SERIOUS reasons. Would you really leave, because he DOES NOT WANT TO UNDERSTAND, how hard paying ALL biils is?
Post # 12
Member
8 posts
Newbee
Thank you for answering this question, but you are REALLY altering someones LIVE!
Post # 13
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee
@creative: But there’s more than not just paying bills. He’s not respecting you or your parents.
He may not be horrible but that doesn’t make him right. After 8 years I broke up with an ex who was brilliantly smart (and still is the smartest person I’ve ever known) and who is generally a nice guy. But at the time, he lacked focus and ambition and wasn’t sure if he could ever get married, so I walked.
He is married to someone else who is right for him and same goes for me. Just because someone isn’t a bad person doesn’t mean you need to stay. You should be happy and proud to be with him, not annoyed.
Post # 14
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
Uh, move on. You’re a smart girl and deserve a lot more than a dependent man-child with poor personal hygiene. Do you really want that guy to be the father of your children? That’d be a big order of “nope” with a side of “definitely not, thanks” for me….
Post # 15
Member
8 posts
Newbee
@canuckandakiwi
thank you for that answer! I just felt so horribly alone in that decision…. It seems like everyone is either abused or high maintance….
He just thinks I expect too much although REFUSES to brush teeth every day and never says thank you to my parents. I almost feel, as if I AM THE CRAZY ONE!!!
WE are both one the lease, but am I requried to pay, because my parents are more educated?!
Post # 16
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
I get the feeling you live in another country from the way you talk, so there may be a cultural difference from what I am about to say….
in my mind, I want a partner in life not a burden. If my boyfriend/husband wanted me to pay ALL the bills simply because he did not want to work, then I would leave. Staying in a situation like that would make me feel unappreciated amd disrespected.
of course if my SO was sick/injured/physically unable to work then that is a different story. Currently my SO is finishing up school and working full time. This means less time for me, but he has responsibilities. And contributing money to our home is one of them!