(Closed) Would you stay with a guy who doesn't want to marry?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you stay with a guy who doesn't want to marry?
    No. I would move on. : (350 votes)
    72 %
    Yes. Marriage isn't that important to us. : (49 votes)
    10 %
    umm... I'm not sure : (76 votes)
    16 %
    Other. i'll explain : (11 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee

    A couple of years ago I would have said yeah I could date a guy forever without marriage, but that was years ago and the way I feel about marriage now is that I cannot stay with a guy without getting married. My SO changed that thinking for me, I could not see myself not marrying him. 

    Post # 63
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If I had to choose between marriage and being with my Fiance, I would pick him every time (if he was really against getting married) Just being with him is enough 🙂

    Post # 64
    Member
    5004 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I wouldn’t. Marriage is a priority for me, and, if it wasn’t a priority for my FH, then he obviously wasn’t the right guy. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    1669 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @tiff-tiff-tiff:  I posted “no I would move on”. That being said it honestly depends howlng I havebeen with the person. If it isanew relationship then someone canalways changetheir mind. If it is lateron in the relationshipI would leave.

    Post # 66
    Member
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    If my SO told me that he truly does not want to get married, I would not leave him. Marriage or no marriage, I couldn’t imagine not being with him. 

    Post # 68
    Member
    292 posts
    Helper bee

    Although I believe marriage does not prove committment, it is still important to me. I would not stay with someone who did not want to get married, but I would try to find out their stance on marriage within the first 6 months of a relationship to ensure we’re both after the same thing in the long run.

    Post # 69
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would wait for him if he knew that he wanted to marry me but just not right now. or that in the future he wants to get married,

    But if i was seeing a guy and he told me later that he didnt believe in marriage. i would leave him. It would brake my heart but i would never truly be happy with him. unfortunatly i feel the same about children.  My SO had told me he wasnt sure if he wanted kids, when years before he wanted one soonner than me. obviously he changes his mind on a dime with every temper tantrum kid or angel that we pass. But i had to tell him its not an option for me. Hes always known i wanted em and i wont settle for less than one. If he cant have them (medically) i wouldnt hold that against him and i wouldnt ever leave cuz of it. thats a whole different situation. he was really surprised but i couldnt see why.

    Post # 70
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t know. It doesn’t seem fair that one partner says they never want to get married if the other one does. It would be hard to leave, but it would be right. I want to be a wife, not just a forever girlfriend because some man/woman is afraid of commitment or whatever. It doesn’t have to be right now or within 5 years, but my partner could not just say “never”…that’s just not right. It matters to me, so I wouldn’t be able to respect someone who isn’t willing to make me happy. There are legal issues to consider as well…it just seems immature to say you will never marry someone…LGBTQIA people fight and struggle to gain that right, why would you throw it away and refuse to make your SO happy?

    Post # 71
    Member
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted “other.”

     

    Yes, in the past I have stayed with a guy who didn’t want to get married. No, I would never do that now. 

     

    In the past, I wasted a great deal of time in a dead-end relationship before I finally wised up. As a result, I didn’t end up meeting and marrying the real Mr. Right until I was in my late 40s!

     

    It all worked out for me because my Darling Husband is the love of my life and he was more than worth the wait.

     

    But I HATE to see younger Bees in their 20s and 30s, throwing away the best years of their lives on guys who — after years and years of dating/living together — won’t even tell them whether or not they’re getting married at some point!

     

    By the same token, I get a vicarious thrill and LOVE it when waiting Bees come on here and post that they refuse to put up with it any longer, and are prepared to walk if necessary.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 72
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Marriage has never been my goal, so I happily stayed with my “I’m never ever, ever going to get married” guy knowing we’d never ever, ever get married. Turned out, he decided he actually did want to get married. BUT I never waited around for a ring that he straight out said I was never going to get. 

    I think that if a woman is ready to get married – like really wants to get married for whatever reason, she should find/date men who are also ready to get married. 

    Post # 73
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    No way! I would move on from a guy who told me he never wanted to get married.

    Most of the time it seems what guys really mean when they say this is that they do not want to marry YOU. So move on!! The right guy will fall over himself trying to get you to marry him!

    Post # 74
    Member
    3245 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @tiff-tiff-tiff:  If he was adamant that he would never marry, I probably would leave. It’s something that I want and need in my life, particularly if I am going to have children with someone, and I’m not going to give that up. It’s too big of a thing to give up your values on, I think.

     

    Post # 75
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee

    I want to be married…but it seems my SO of 12 years is not interested.  Oh he has always said we would marry me, but it hasn’t happened. He married someone else (2nd marriage) and then came back to me and still no marriage.

    I like what someone previously posted about a woman

    “I didn’t want to bring it up, cause I didn’t want to upset him… or see him leave me”

    That is clingy… that is desperate.  That is WHY this person isn’t married yet.

    What a wake up call for me!!

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