Post # 62
A couple of years ago I would have said yeah I could date a guy forever without marriage, but that was years ago and the way I feel about marriage now is that I cannot stay with a guy without getting married. My SO changed that thinking for me, I could not see myself not marrying him.
Post # 63
If I had to choose between marriage and being with my Fiance, I would pick him every time (if he was really against getting married) Just being with him is enough 🙂
Post # 64
I wouldn’t. Marriage is a priority for me, and, if it wasn’t a priority for my FH, then he obviously wasn’t the right guy.
Post # 65
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@tiff-tiff-tiff: I posted “no I would move on”. That being said it honestly depends howlng I havebeen with the person. If it isanew relationship then someone canalways changetheir mind. If it is lateron in the relationshipI would leave.
Post # 66
If my SO told me that he truly does not want to get married, I would not leave him. Marriage or no marriage, I couldn’t imagine not being with him.
Post # 67
I am a person who believes in marriage. Marriage is a big, a life-long decision. I would love to be in a relationship where the love is strong enough to make that life-long decision.
If I dated anyone who doesn’t want to marry, I would believe that they would just want the freedom to still be dealing with other women since they have never put their commitment in writing.
I have some horrible male friends who would sleep with a woman and then say that she assumed that they were an item while they never even asked her out. I don’t want to assume that the other person is as commited as I am. I would like it to be concreted in marriage. I know marriages could be ruined but that’s where legalities come in.
I would walk away.
Post # 68
Although I believe marriage does not prove committment, it is still important to me. I would not stay with someone who did not want to get married, but I would try to find out their stance on marriage within the first 6 months of a relationship to ensure we’re both after the same thing in the long run.
Post # 69
I would wait for him if he knew that he wanted to marry me but just not right now. or that in the future he wants to get married,
But if i was seeing a guy and he told me later that he didnt believe in marriage. i would leave him. It would brake my heart but i would never truly be happy with him. unfortunatly i feel the same about children. My SO had told me he wasnt sure if he wanted kids, when years before he wanted one soonner than me. obviously he changes his mind on a dime with every temper tantrum kid or angel that we pass. But i had to tell him its not an option for me. Hes always known i wanted em and i wont settle for less than one. If he cant have them (medically) i wouldnt hold that against him and i wouldnt ever leave cuz of it. thats a whole different situation. he was really surprised but i couldnt see why.
Post # 70
I don’t know. It doesn’t seem fair that one partner says they never want to get married if the other one does. It would be hard to leave, but it would be right. I want to be a wife, not just a forever girlfriend because some man/woman is afraid of commitment or whatever. It doesn’t have to be right now or within 5 years, but my partner could not just say “never”…that’s just not right. It matters to me, so I wouldn’t be able to respect someone who isn’t willing to make me happy. There are legal issues to consider as well…it just seems immature to say you will never marry someone…LGBTQIA people fight and struggle to gain that right, why would you throw it away and refuse to make your SO happy?
Post # 71
I voted “other.”
Yes, in the past I have stayed with a guy who didn’t want to get married. No, I would never do that now.
In the past, I wasted a great deal of time in a dead-end relationship before I finally wised up. As a result, I didn’t end up meeting and marrying the real Mr. Right until I was in my late 40s!
It all worked out for me because my DH is the love of my life and he was more than worth the wait.
But I HATE to see younger Bees in their 20s and 30s, throwing away the best years of their lives on guys who — after years and years of dating/living together — won’t even tell them whether or not they’re getting married at some point!
By the same token, I get a vicarious thrill and LOVE it when waiting Bees come on here and post that they refuse to put up with it any longer, and are prepared to walk if necessary.
Post # 72
Marriage has never been my goal, so I happily stayed with my “I’m never ever, ever going to get married” guy knowing we’d never ever, ever get married. Turned out, he decided he actually did want to get married. BUT I never waited around for a ring that he straight out said I was never going to get.
I think that if a woman is ready to get married – like really wants to get married for whatever reason, she should find/date men who are also ready to get married.
Post # 73
No way! I would move on from a guy who told me he never wanted to get married.
Most of the time it seems what guys really mean when they say this is that they do not want to marry YOU. So move on!! The right guy will fall over himself trying to get you to marry him!
Post # 74
@tiff-tiff-tiff: If he was adamant that he would never marry, I probably would leave. It’s something that I want and need in my life, particularly if I am going to have children with someone, and I’m not going to give that up. It’s too big of a thing to give up your values on, I think.
Post # 75
I want to be married…but it seems my SO of 12 years is not interested. Oh he has always said we would marry me, but it hasn’t happened. He married someone else (2nd marriage) and then came back to me and still no marriage.
I like what someone previously posted about a woman
“I didn’t want to bring it up, cause I didn’t want to upset him… or see him leave me”
That is clingy… that is desperate. That is WHY this person isn’t married yet.
What a wake up call for me!!
Post # 76
I remember you from another post and I believe that you should grit your teeth and move on without looking back!!!
With the post about not bringing it up, it is probably from a situation where the lady has been talking about engagements so much that her SO started getting irritated with the topic. She was probably concerned that if she brought it up again, it could probably lead to an arguement (like i’ve seen in a few posts) that could end in an unpleasant way.
It sounds terrible but these women still need our support. Waiting has done some terrible things to some women.