(Closed) Would you stay with your SO if they never propose?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
383 posts
Helper bee

No, I wouldn’t stay.  I love him and want to be with him forever but marriage is important to me for spiritual and financial reasons.  I would (and we plan to) live with him first though which is also a requirement.  you don’t really know someone until you live ith them.   Even though it would be very difficult, I couldn’t stay knowing that he didn’t want to be connected with me in every single way as I do him.  And, I want to profess our love in front of the universe (or at least to those invited….LOL). 

And, I want the security, no, I NEED that security.  Even though I know nothing is for sure.  Heck, I was married before for 14 years so you never know.  But until the rough part of our marriage, I loved being married and having a partner I could grow with, share dreams with, build a life with….as partners. 

 

Post # 32
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Absolutely I would stay!  I am almost 40, was a single parent, and traveled for work alot at the time we got together so the odds of me getting married ever were stacked against me by a long shot.  When we got together, he had just gone through a horrible divorse and said that he would never get married again and I was perfectly fine with that.  So when he did propose, I was in total shock.

Post # 33
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t stay with him if he changed his mind and decided he never wants to get married.  Marriage for me is important spritually and in the eyes of the law.  I won’t have any kids until I’m married.  That being said I want kids so I would have to leave.  As much as I love him the fact that we couldn’t agree on something that ‘s very important is a no go.  I need just more than love to stay in a realtionship I need to know we have a future togethere that is headed toward marriage.

Post # 34
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Nope. I’d feel like I was settling by staying with someone who doesn’t want to get married (when I clearly do), and I couldn’t go through my life like that. Luckily for me, hubby and I share the same views on marriage.

Post # 35
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

No, I wouldn’t stay. If marriage is really important to me, and he doesn’t want to get married, then there is no point in staying. Game over.

Post # 36
Member
818 posts
Busy bee

I want to say yes but in reality I’m sure it’d be a no. I love him but I think that’d be a dealbreaker for me. I would eventually start to resent him for it and feel like I’m not good enough for him to marry. Also, I don’t think I’d want to live with him without being married or at least engaged and I don’t want to have kids out of wedlock if it can be avoided.

Post # 37
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Of course I would stay with him. Being married is only really a piece of paper. As long as we’re together, I’m happy.

Post # 38
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@LaurenK0105: Wow, do you have all day?? What a question!

Me personally coming from a religious background I never felt comfortable living together before marriage (or at least the promise of marriage ie: an engagement). As we continued to live together without any hints of additional committment I found myself becoming very resentful. I didn’t understand why I was good enough to cook, clean and play housewife without the actual title and committment that comes with.

We were together for five years and he just proposed on 1-1-11. I can say that things were getting a bit strained because it took a lot out of me to pretend that I wasn’t hurt by the “status quo” so to speak.

Some women don’t need the ring and the certificate to be happy and I respect that. For me it was important and while I can’t confirm that I would have ended things I also cannot say how long I could have continued as it was.

Happy and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with the man I have wanted to marry for the past five years. 🙂

Post # 39
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

I guess I’ll be technical…but how would we KNOW he’d never propose?(outside of him saying he never will) There’s always a possibility unless you or he died, then he can’t propose…

I know, I know.LOL I k now what you meant.LOL

I don’t know. I’d want to stay because I love him, but I’d be more concerned with some legal documents being drawn up, even if we aren’t married. If I left, now I wouldn’t go find another man to marry.I think I’d just stay alone and if love came, it came, but I wouldn’t go looking for a new man to marry. If that were the case, I’d have been married by now.LOL

Post # 40
Member
492 posts
Helper bee

Absolutely not. Marriage is extremely important to me and I feel like if he wants to be with me then he will make that commitment. I’ve heard people saying it’s just a piece of paper. If it’s “just” that then why not do it and make it legal. Since it’s no big deal. Just my opinion.  

Post # 41
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@-female-: I disagree- marriage isn’t just a piece of paper- if it was, so many people (and women on this board) wouldn’t be ending relationships if they never got it. A piece of paper is what is in my notebook that I do my monthly budgetting on- marriage is a contract of emotion that takes a lot to get into and a lot to get out of (unless you just see your relationship as two bodies).

Post # 42
Member
2231 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely would stay, no question about it. I love my Fiance and I want to be with him, if he hadn’t proposed we would still be together for many years to come. I am definitely the more liberal one in this relationship and it didn’t matter to me if we had kids out of wedlock or if we stayed unmarried forever, my love for him would not change. However, I would like to say that people’s reaction to us getting married has been definitely nice. I think people take your relationship a lot more seriously once you have taken that step.

Post # 43
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

No.

Post # 44
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I definitely wouldn’t stay.  I’m a romantic at heart, but if he didn’t want to marry me, I just don’t think I could do it.  Fiance told me early on in the relationship that he wanted to get married (didn’t specificially say to me, of course, since we had just started dating!), and if after 5.5 years he still didn’t want to get married, I would take that as a bad sign.  I’m glad he wants to marry me because not only is there the tax benefits, hospital visitation rights and the ease of having kids because we’re already married with no possible “stigma” (my parents weren’t married when they had me), I also really like the fact that a marriage is a public declaration in front of friends, family, and the powers that be that he really wants to be with me, forever.

Post # 45
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Nope. Marriage is important to me and if he cant make the ultimate commitment then I feel I’d be wasting my time. I want a husband, not a boyfriend.

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