(Closed) Would you stay?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would have left.  One thing I’ve learned from my first marriage is that if there is any doubt whatsoever on anyone’s part, it’s probably not right.

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s hard to say for sure, but I think I would have left him. I’m too old to mess around waiting for someone and I wanted to get married. I would definitely take it too personal and kind of be turned off by the whole relationship.

Post # 5
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

<h1>I would have left! My Fiance has a friend that has been with his gf for 5 years, she really wants to get engaged, he doesn’t even have the thought in his head. I would have left in that situation too so I guess I don’t have much patience haha</h1>

Post # 6
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wellllllll…I think it’s hard to tell. It depends on what they both want out of the relationship. I know that if I were in a place where I wanted to get married and have children right now and my bf wasn’t, I’d leave since that’s a pretty big deal breaker. But if all I wanted was someone to be there with me and hang out and keep it light, I’d probably stay until my needs or wants changed.

Given their history, it sounds like they’re still kind of working things through. And their ongoing relationship spans quite a few years, so they’ve most likely done a lot of growing up and are still determining what they want.

Post # 7
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

If after 4 years of being together he called it off, I would have left. It would have been hard and sucked, but no way I would have stayed.  I would guess his problem is  not marriage, I think his problem is marrying *her*.  He should man up and let her go so she can find someone who does want what she wants….

Post # 8
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would have left. If he hasn’t figured out I’m the one after 4 years, he won’t think I’m the one after 6.

Post # 9
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I definitely would be gone. I agree- if he didn’t know within 4 years, another 2 won’t make a difference.

Post # 10
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would have left.  If it’s been that long, I would wonder why he isn’t “ready” for marriage.  Like does he want to date other women?  Is she not “the one”?

Fiance has a friend who is in a similar situation.  They were together for like 4 or 5 years and living together and got engaged.  Then he called off the engagement, but they’re still together and live together and such.  They will have been together for almost 10 years, so I just don’t get it.

Post # 11
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would have left. Even if he was completely what I wanted, I think he’s made it somewhat clear that she’s not completely what he wants.

Post # 12
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

The part that would bother me is the being together 4 years and breakign up, then getting back together.  I just wouldn’t have done that.  I’ve never done the make-up-break up thing.

But being in a relationship for a long time without marriage, I wouldn’t mind.  If my Fiance wasn’t into being married, I’d still stay with him.  The person is just more important to me than the institution.  So maybe they’re both just decided they’d rather be together even if not married.

Post # 13
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would have left.  To me breaking off an engagement is the ultimate way of letting the other know that you can’t picture yourself together forever.

That being said, people are different.  Like a PP said, it totally depends on what each person wants.  I have a friend who proposed and was shot down.  He got back with the girl who turned him down, bought a house together, and now considers themselves to be engaged.  They have been engaged for 3 years now but have not made any wedding plans.  Maybe they just enjoy each other’s company?  Who knows.

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d have left. After 4 years, if you aren’t ready for marriage and you’re not like, 17, you’re probably not ready to be in a mature relationship if you’re going to let it fester for 2 MORE years. I feel like if you live with someone and are with them for 4 years, you should probably have figured out if i rock that much or if you are just stringing me along. I agree with Janna, though–he needs to let her go and she needs to realize she may not be enough

Post # 15
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I would have left, but I don’t know how old they are. If they’re anywhere past mid-20s, I think it’s fairly safe to say that “not being ready to get married” is kind of a cheap excuse. Either he’s committed to her and plans to stay that way, or he’s not. And if he’s not… what is she doing? Wasting time that she could be spending finding someone who is ready.

Post # 16
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

I would have left too but you know there are different type of girls out there that want different things.

one of my FI’s friends didn’t get married to his girl for 11 years they broke up a couple of times because of the marriage thing but they finally did get married and they seem really happy now.  and another one of his friends dated a girl for 14 years before she left him.  some girls just want to wait and see what will happens.  there are a lot of girls that don’t like to pressure their guys… person i would have totally pressured these guys a long time ago and moved on to a guy that wants to marry me.

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