Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
My sister got engaged last night and I am very happy for her, she is 40 and her FH is 42 and they plan on getting married sometime in 2015. My Darling Husband and I have been TTC for the past 6 months and I am going to be 35 next month and he is 44. We really want to have a child and it hasn’t happened right away and I am debating if I should put TTC on hold so I don’t have to worry about my dress not fitting if I become pregnant or if I won’t be able to attend wedding because I go into labour or something. I have a feeling they will get married in August so if I get pregnant in December that wouldn’t be good. Would you still continue to TTC?
Post # 2
I think this question gets asked a lot around here, and I believe the general concensus is usually “don’t wait”. But especially considering your ages and how long you’ve been trying… I definitely wouldn’t wait! if it makes you feel better, you could tell your sister privately, and suggest she has her bridesmaids do a “wear your own black dresses” (or coordinating colors in different styles), so you wouldn’t have to get a “bridesmaid dress” and could wait to purchase yours.
Post # 3
I sure as hell wouldn’t wait. Nor would I ever expect anyone else to. Putting your life on hold (especially when you’ve been unsuccessful for months) for a single day is ludicrous to me.
Post # 4
If (knock on wood) you have trouble, and it takes you years to conceive, you are going to be much more upset then having to get a dress altered.
Waiting with problems will mean even more time until you could get intervention (most clinics want you to try for a full year before they see you), and even longer until you have a baby in your arms.
Not to mention the increased risk due to your ages already. It will make you almost 37 (unless you just had your birthday) when a baby is born if you wait, and your husband 49. What if you want a 2nd?
Post # 5
I wouldn’t wait. I had a MC in July but if I hadn’t, I would have been due the same month as my SIL’s destination wedding. It would have sucked to miss it, but I’m not putting my life on hold for someone else’s wedding.
Post # 6
I was going to be the BRIDE and I didn’t wait (I’m 34). We ended up getting pregnant 1 month after the wedding, thankfully, but I wouldn’t recommend that you wait either. My bridesmaid found out she was pregnant the week before my bachelorette party (month before the wedding). She didn’t want to steal my thunder so didn’t say a word to me about it until a few weeks after the wedding even though I figured it out as soon as she didn’t drink at my bachelorette which she hosted. Now we are so excited to be pregnant together! Actually another one of my bridesmaids got pregnant right around the wedding too, she’s 5 weeks ahead of me. It’s pretty fun.
Post # 7
I just don’t think putting your life on hold for a one day event is ever the best idea. Her wedding is important, but it’s ONE day. My sister was due right around my wedding. She bought a dress that would fit over a baby bump as well as conceal baby weight if she delivered right before. She ended up delivering before and couldn’t come to the wedding. I was sad she wasn’t there but my wedding is over and I get to see pictures of my beautiful nephew every day.
Post # 8
I recommend only skipping the month that would put you +/- 3 weeks from being due on the wedding date. You can absolutely be a pregnant Maid/Matron of Honor but 3 or less weeks to go is a little too short. and less than 3 weeks after your child is born you won’t want to leave them for a second let alone hours.
Post # 11
I will be the Maid/Matron of Honor at my best friend’s wedding in March and we are TTC since last January. We are not going to stop TTC over a dress.
If you get pregnant, you will have plenty of time to let your sister know and pick out a dress that will accomodate a growing belly. If you end up being less than 4 months preggo at the wedding, you probably won’t be showing anyway, and just order your dress a size up and have it altered at the last minute.
Post # 12
MRS-K: i wouldn’t wait; some things you could (and maybe should) plan around being in a wedding. for example, if you know you’re in a wedding, you probably shouldn’t schedule a vacation for the day of the wedding. lol. but for something that is a life decision, that needs to be made based only on your life, not around a wedding.
so go ahead with it, i say.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t wait if I were you. But if you’re concerned about December being a particularly bad month, just skip December, and then start TTC in January again.
Post # 14
Given your age, I wouldn’t wait to start TTC. Once she sets her date, I would count back nine months and skip TTC only for that month. She’s your sister, and it would put you and your parents in a very awkward position if you couldn’t make the wedding because you were in labor or had just given birth.
Post # 15
MRS-K: how would you feel if you stopped TTC for her wedding and never got pregnant when you tried again after? Would you always think what if we hadn’t stopped trying? Would you potentially resent your sister because you need to do something with the disappointment?