Would you tell?

posted 11 months ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you tell him?
    Yes he deserves to know : (35 votes)
    29 %
    Yes but tell him anonymously : (42 votes)
    35 %
    No it's not your business : (38 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 46
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    WannaBeeAnonaBee :  

    This is what I am leaning towards, but I know for sure he doesn’t know because he’s texting me to ask what’s going on with her…. awkward. I just respond as vaguely as possible.

    She also sends me screenshots of their convos over text (he’s been staying at his parents because she asked for space). He walked into the local hangout spot, and saw her with the dude she’s cheating with and said “That’s fucked up B” and walked out – but she DENIED DENIED DENIED over text messages to him that she sent me screenshots of. I really don’t want to be this involved in BOTH sides of their relationship, but I’ve known them both for well over a decade…

    So, he suspects what she’s doing, but she has denied and he has taken her word for it.



    I was going to say that you should probably stay out of it or you will lose your friend. Then I read your update and had to change my tune –

    You should tell the husband. They already put you in the middle and are making you a part of something you shouldn’t be a part of. As such, she has given up her “friend” right since a true friend would not purposely put you in such an uncomfortable position. I would tell her straight up – “Listen friend A. I have no interest in hearing about your affair. If you use me as an excuse or cover up, if you show me another text between you and your husband or you and your side piece, I am going to tell your husband everything. Either stop cheating on your husband or leave him. Or I’ll tell him what you’re doing and he can make the choice for you.” And then follow thru if it happens. 

    Post # 47
    72 posts
    Worker bee


    WannaBeeAnonaBee :  Ha! I’m late to the party! 


    You did the right thing. If she doesn’t tell him, sure it’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation but a necessary one to say the least. Your friend should really just tell him and end it *fingers crossed for you bee*

    Post # 48
    1679 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    WannaBeeAnonaBee : Oops, I missed your update! 

    You definitely did the right thing bee.  Just make sure you follow through if she doesn’t do it. 

    I can’t believe your friend has the audacity to complain that renting may be difficult.  She wouldn’t be in this situation if she’d broken up with her fiance amicably. 

    Post # 49
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    You’ve done the right thing by giving her an ultimatum to tell him, it’s exactly what I would do.

    Staying out of it/minding your business is to be complicit in the deceit and is a total cop out. Your friend put you in a horrible position by letting you in on her deceit so, despite this being a horrible situation for you, she’s really brought it on herself.

    Post # 50
    215 posts
    Helper bee

    If anything, could you do it anonymously? 

    Post # 51
    1759 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    WannaBeeAnonaBee :   It’s a pretty small town – one of the reasons why her Fiance already walked in to a bar where she was out with him (really smart on her part).


    THis woman seriously WANTS to get caught. She’s virtually begging to get caught! She is mildly inconvenienced by the thought of not having an apartment lined up, but hanging out with her lover in a small town’s local bar screams: Im too terrified to take the step to leave you so let me make you leave me so I can feel like the biggest shit on the planet, but still be finally rid of the relationship, please. Oh, and yeah, I know it’ll be absolutely horrible so let me lie just enough to avoid it for another while. 

    Man, what a trainwreck. I dunno Bee, your friend is gonna have a lot of work to do cleaning up this mess. I hope you’re up for all that. 

    Post # 52
    178 posts
    Blushing bee

    I would tell him. I couldn’t be friends with someone who was cheating on their soon to be husband. 

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