Post # 1
Member
19 posts
Newbee
Several years ago, I had this on again-off-again thing with a guy I knew. Basically a FWB. I had just gotten divorced and he was single. He ended up moving to another state and we had met up one last time before he moved. He denied having a Girlfriend but I knew he did. I didn’t care though – I was single.
So he texted me earlier and is back in town for a week and wants to meet up. First he asked me to go to lunch to “catch up” but it was clear evidently he was looking for a more…physical…connection. I know he got married – I saw his wedding pics on FB. I asked him about it and he admits he did.
I don’t have any ties to this guy. He wants nothing from me but sex. When I was married, my husband cheated and I was devastated. He’s been married for only 73 days and is already looking to cheat.
It’s mean and I have nothing to gain from it, but part of me really wants to tell his wife. Not to be mean to the guy – who I really have no feelings for, but because I would want to know if it was me! I have his texts messages (and photos) he sent which are very graphic.
I don’t want to hurt her though. I googled his name and saw their wedding page and it’s obvious she is very much in love. I know she would be devastated.
Would you want to know? Cause I would want to know. (And for the record, I made it pointedly clear I was not interested in hooking up)
Post # 2
Member
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
How exactly do you know he is only interested in sex? unless he explicitly said that’s what he is after, you shouldn’t go to his wife, because you might actually be wrong.,
Post # 3
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
Yes you need to tell her. I’d be devastated but at the same time thankful for someone telling me. She deserves better than staying with a guy like him.
Post # 4
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
If she wants to know, she probably wouldn’t want to know from you. Is there a mutual friend who you could tell instead?
Post # 5
Member
11376 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
All you can do is give her the info. Sometimes it’s just planting a seed. I don’t see it as mean to give her the facts. I wouldn’t elaborate or fill in the blanks because you can’t prove what he wants now, unless there’s more to the texts.
Post # 6
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
Tell her.
I can’t believe I am saying that because you will be destroying her life but she deserces to know who she has married.
Hopefully they don’t have a family yet.
Post # 7
Member
19 posts
Newbee
He was very explicit with what he was looking for. They live several states away and I have no mutual friends with either of them.
My best guess is he would tell her he wasn’t REALLY going to do it. I mean, technically he hasn’t cheated (not with me anyway) but I’m sure he would. I haven’t seen him in four plus years and he wanted me to meet him in a park to have fun RIGHT NOW. I mean what kind of a woman would do that anyway???
Post # 8
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
Best case scenario: she believes you. Most likely scenario: you’re some crazy lady who just wants her husband’s D and she goes off on you.
Post # 9
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
sunfl0wergirl: Yeah but OP and the wife don’t know each other, so who cares if she flips out at her?
Just send the photos / messages back to her and let her deal with it. I would be devastated if I was her, but I would still want to know.
Post # 10
Member
2662 posts
Sugar bee
daisyb214: Good heavens just tell the poor woman! No skin off your if she decides to stay with him but at least you’ll have presented the facts.
Post # 11
Member
1228 posts
Bumble bee
I would tell her.
I replied on that other post that I would tell my friend that I saw her cheating fiance in Vegas, too. But, thinking on it, I wonder if this is safe advice to give. Like what if the guy ends up getting dumped, and comes after you in revenge? He knows your name and where you live, right?
I think you should at least try to tell his wife anonymously. Even if she doesn’t leave him on the basis of one anonymous email, you’ve planted a seed in her head. Now she’ll be suspicious and probably start snooping. Then maybe she’ll find her own evidence.
Post # 12
Member
15278 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Go through with it then send her the video? Then she’ll have to believe he would. Kidding, just send her whatyou have now and let her decode what she wants to do with the info. Most likely she won’t believe it anyways though.
Post # 13
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
daisyb214: You know nothing about their marriage. For all you know they are in open relationship. Stay out of it and block this guy.
Post # 14
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
No I would not tell her. i would however block him from calling me again.
Post # 15
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
Yes, she needs to know she married a class-A jerk!