Would you tell or keep quiet?

posted 1 month ago in Beehive
Post # 198
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

chocco :  I know- I was responding to that silly comment about you telling them creating drama, stating that if the men didn’t want drama, they shouldn’t have cheated and told all their friends right after.

Post # 200
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

chocco :  ahh I gotcha 😉 

Post # 201
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

chocco :  In my opinion you should go alone and not with your fiance. It will be horrible for them finding out about their boyfriends’ cheating and the fewer people the better.

Post # 202
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

I second what the person above said. Go alone and not with your FH.

Post # 203
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Please tell us what happens today after you tell her. And what bywater :  said is vicim blaming basically. NO its not creating drama to tell the truth, a truth they have not even tried to hide. If you don’t want drama in your life, don’t be an asshole. 

Post # 204
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

What’s with this bizarre need to avoid drama? Are you going to let people be cheated and lied to so that you can avoid some drama? Where is the logic in doing this?

Post # 205
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

Best of luck. This cannot be easy for you.

Post # 206
Member
2972 posts
Sugar bee

Good luck Bee. I know it’s hard, but doing the right thing usually is. 

Hopefully they appreciate your position in this and are grateful for the truth.

Post # 207
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I am always for that everyone should tell the truth

Post # 208
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

I would recommend you come to the table with an approach of “I am providing information and I have no judgement about what you choose to do with it. I won’t talk about the subject again unless you want to and I won’t talk about it with anyone else”. 

You want to make sure they feel safe. If there is any indication that you are telling them to break up with their partners they might go on the defense or question your information. 

“I need to tell you something. This is really uncomfortable but I respect you too much to keep this to myself. You can ask me any questions you want and no matter what you what to do with this you are still my friend and I’ll have your back”

Post # 209
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

Hope it went/goes ok with your friend.

Are you meeting both ladies today?

Post # 210
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee

supertrooper0101 :  THey may have added drama, but OP is fanning the flames.

The men cheated

The men told her FI

Her Fiance told her

She decided to tell the Girlfriend of the men who told her Fiance.

How is she NOT adding to the drama?  She’s a tattletale.  

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