Would you tell or keep quiet?

posted 6 months ago in Beehive
Post # 332
277 posts
Helper bee

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saturnian :  

 “People expect others to appreciate, even applaud, their honesty but that is not what necessarily happens in real life, and especially not when you interfere in other people’s lives. 

Those guys told OP’s fiance. I doubt anyone wanted others to know through him. The other guys in the circle will most likely think twice before they share anything with him from here on.

I did not get the impression that OP or her fiance were looking for a pat on the back for telling the truth. However, if others have a problem with them telling the truth then, it’s time to look for better friends.

Post # 333
12814 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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saturnian :  You are still missing the point. OP and her fiance understood the risks and do not care about the fallout. Potentially saving those women from lives with cheaters was far more important to them than a friendship with anyone who would cut off a relationship because they did. 

For them, that included not only the cheaters but anyone who takes their side as well. Friendships are not cast in stone. I know it seems like an outdated notion in this climate but to people like the OP and her fiance character counts. They would rather make new friends than maintain relationships with people with values that don’t match their own.  In their place so would I. 

Post # 334
201 posts
Helper bee

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saturnian :  “People expect others to appreciate, even applaud, their honesty “


That does not seem to be true here, so what’s your point?

Post # 335
792 posts
Busy bee


This is very critical. So they should know.

Post # 336
30 posts
  • Wedding: August 2020

As someone who has been cheated on and later found out that people knew … I truly wish someone would have told me! I felt like an idiot finding out months later and also had a hard time trusting people as well as my friends after I knew that. 

It’s not about it “being your business” it’s about the person being cheated on having the right to know and then make her own decision about how to handle the situation. 

I had been with my ex-fiancé for 10 years and was totally unaware he had been sleeping around. I contracted an STI (this is always extremely difficult to share) due to his choices and it took months before I received a diagnosis and treatment … it’s not just about emotions it’s also about her health as well.  

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