(Closed) Would you tell someone you don't think they look good in their dress?

posted 5 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Would you tell someone you don't think they look good in their dress? How honest would you be?
    No. I'd tell them "If they love it, that is all that matters!" (or along those lines) : (7 votes)
    8 %
    No, but I wouldn't comment either. : (18 votes)
    21 %
    Yes, after all, they asked for opinions. Why not tell them incase they decide to get another dress? : (9 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, but I would be careful how I worded it. : (15 votes)
    18 %
    Maybe. Depends on if they seem to want honest opinions or just reassurance they look good. : (34 votes)
    40 %
    Seriously, you stink at poll options! I vote OTHER! (Please explain below!) : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Other... because even though you stink I don't want to tell you that you do. (Please explain!) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1419 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017 - Downtown Riverfront Cafe

    I would suggest they keep looking, but choose my favorite if it was down to a narrow few and a poll was created. Everyone has a very unique sense of style and I think to get a general feel of preference is one thing, but it is silly to let anyone change one’s opinion of themself in a dress that they LOVE. We won’t be wearing it and honestly I wonder sometimes how much of our own insecurities go into these comments/votes. I almost recommend if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    On here, no I wouldn’t, since people tend to get very defensive about their decisions and the way you word things can be misunderstood easily. In person to a friend, I would definitely tell them if they asked me. If they’ve already purchased the dress, I wouldn’t say much, as I’m not really the type that likes to over-compliment people if they’re just fishing for it. If they’re having doubts and want an honest opinion, I would gladly step in.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1419 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017 - Downtown Riverfront Cafe

    @wbg21: Sorry, modified above into a short story. 🙂

    If they purchased the dress and just wanted to share how in love they were, I would say something along the lines of congrats and only share how lovely the dress was if I truly felt that way. I am not so into wedding dresses, in general, but some of them are just so finely done. If they were having dress regret and honestly didn’t believe the dress was flattering, I would attempt to give some suggestions for improval or recommendations of what step to take next. Like I said, everybody has his/her own taste, so one shouldn’t let a stranger dissuade them from following their heart. It is nice to hear honest feedback, however, when you are really after it and having doubts.

    Post # 7
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If someone says, “What do you think of this dress?” I might share my true opinion, but if they have already purchased the dress, there’s NO WAY I’m saying a thing!  There are too many Bees on here with dress regret and I do not want to start that kind of drama.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It depends. If they have already purchased the dress, I will just not say anything at all if I don’t like it, and I will tend to vote in the poll to support the dress they bought.

    If they haven’t purchased a dress and seem to be looking for honest advice, I try to find a way to be honest, but saying it delicately. Not insulting THEM but just saying I think they could find something more figure flattering, etc.

    Unless you have already purchased the dress though, I will be the most honest in an anonymous poll option, because it’s easier in situation where I can’t find anything constructive to say.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6743 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @wbg21:  If they want honest opinions and they write that they want honest opinions and have the budget to buy a new dress or get alterations, then I will be honest.  If, however, they phrase their question like “I’m having dress regret, but I can’t afford a new dress” or “I love my dress, what do you think?” or something closer to asking for validation on the dress choice, I will do my best to point out both the things that are great abou the dress and maybe some cheap suggestions for how to make it better.  So, yes, I’m honest, but it depends on how the bee phrases her question.  🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    My sister, best friend or cousin yes. A random Bee? No. Especially one who already bought a dress. If I saw something that was easy yo fix to make it better then I might suggest that but usually I keep my mouth shut. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    If someone creates one of those many “Want honest opinions on my dress!” posts, then they are going to get my honest opinion. I’ll be as gentle as possible e.g. “I love X of the dress, but I’m not a fan of Y.”

    I’ve posted dress things on here, and I’ve appreciated all feedback, good or bad. No one on here actually tries to put other people down, and if people are sensitive about how they look in a dress, they should be careful about posting it online, because even the most well-meaning feedback can come across harsh when it’s written or when it’s a sensitive topic for the poster.

    Having said that, though, if they’ve already purchased the dress, I’ll either support their decision or, if I can’t find anything constructive to say, I’ll just ignore it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9084 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Absolutely.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1159 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    If it was someone close to me I definitely would! However, if it is a bee that I don’t know I would just ignore the thread or comment in the poll. I don’t say anything because their personal style may be completely different to mine. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1152 posts
    Bumble bee

    My most often repeated phrase: “Discreetness is not one of my virtues.” My friends always come to me when they want blunt honesty, and they get it.

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