(Closed) Would you tell someone's SO that they did this?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
966 posts
Busy bee

Don’t say anything. Your loyalty should lie with your hubbys sister, not sisters Bf

Post # 32
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

No, I wouldn’t. They didn’t even kiss, for goodness sake. Plus, you just met her, why would you feel obligated to her bf? Don’t start none, won’t be none.

Post # 33
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

mrsc6815:  How did your Darling Husband feel about it?

Normally I’m in the camp of “I’d want to know, so I’d tell”, but in this case, as I understand it, you’ve never even met C’s boyfriend. So in *your* situation, I wouldn’t say anything.

However, this may not apply to your Darling Husband. How does Darling Husband feel about his best friend getting touchy feely with his sister, when his sister has a partner? 

If I knew C’s bf (which may be the case for your DH), then yes, I’d tell him something. I’d only say what I saw though, and let him decide what to do.

Post # 36
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

mrsc6815:  Totally not judging you, but I would not say a word about this to C’s boyfriend. If anything casually bring the topic up with your Darling Husband and see what he thinks. I understand if it was me I’d want to know too. However, I see a lot of unecesary drama coming your way if you say anything. I would just let it go on this one.

Post # 37
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Also since you don’t know the in’s and outs of her relationship, and her brother wasn’t bothered, perhaps her boyfriend is a total dirt bag and he’s hoping that she will leave him. 

Post # 38
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

mrsc6815:  Not judging you, but I also wouldn’t say anything. 

SIL didn’t do anything wrong. Sure, she was flirtatious with a guy, but they didn’t even kiss! And you have no idea what her relationship with her partner is like. This may be acceptable behavior for them in their relationship. YOU think what she did was inappropriate and YOU wouldn’t like YOUR hubby to do that. But you have no idea what HE would think, so you need to stay out of it.  

P.S. How is it that you haven’t met your SIL, but you HAVE met your SIL’s boyfriend?

Post # 39
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Soon2bmrs1:  But if C’s bf is fine with it, what’s the harm in telling him? 

Either he’s ok with it, so there’s no harm done. Or he’s not ok with it, so he deserves to know.

OP or her husband could just bring it up casually. “C is having a great time here. She seemed to really enjoyed dancing with D and hugging him“. Or the more subtle, “We went out clubbing, and C seemed to really enjoy the company of my best buddy D“.

Post # 40
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

aussiemum1248:  The harm in telling him is that OP would be intruding on someone else’s relationship and causing drama for absolutely no reason.

The OP has met C once, and doesn’t know anything about C’s relationship with her boyfriend.

The OP is making a judgement about C based on what the OP thinks is “appropriate behavior.” Not everyone equates “dirty dancing” with cheating, and it’s unfair of the OP to stir up trouble in a stranger’s relationship because the OP wouldn’t like her husband dancing with someone else.

By bringing it up to C’s boyfriend, the OP is causing unnecessary drama for another couple. To what end?

 

 

 

Post # 41
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee

Not your business. Don’t say anything. I don’t honestly think what she did is a huge deal anyways. 

Post # 42
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Yeah, not your place or your issue. Stay out of it or you’re going to cause major drama with your husband’s family before you even know them

Post # 43
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Garden

I would NOT be okay if my boyfriend was dancing like that with another girl, and I totally understand where you’re coming from! However, I would talk to your husband before doing or saying anything.

Post # 44
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

mrsc6815:  you’re married and just now meeting your SIL for the first time? And you’re already willing to mess with her 8 year relationship with the father of her son? Please stay out of it. You sound like you don’t even know the full story with what happened between C and D. You may have sorta seen them hugging? Not enough info.

Years ago I was at a party without Darling Husband (boyfriend at the time). I was talking to this guy the whole night, just because I thought he was a nice person and I didn’t know many people there. At the end of the night, this guy ended up kissing me. I immediately pushed him away and left but I guess I came across flirtatious the whole night without meaning to and gave this guy mixed signals. Now, if anyone saw this happen they would assume I “cheated” on my boyfriend. If someone ran to my boyfriend and told him I was flirting with some guy and made out with him, our relationship would’ve been done. Instead, I was able to go to my boyfriend the next day and explain what really happened and everything was totally fine with us. I couldn’t imagine how upset I’d be if someone I met for the first time “tattled” on me with false information before I got to speak with my boyfriend first, possibly ending our relationship.

Post # 45
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Not your business and who knows how they run their relationship. Perhaps that isn’t cheating to them. 

The topic ‘Would you tell someone's SO that they did this?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors