(Closed) Would you tell the truth?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you admit the truth about a past lover?

    I would tell my SO upfront

    I would wait until a good time to tell my SO (Please explain when that would be).

    I would never tell my SO

    Other

  • Post # 17
    Member
    7624 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  Would he really feel inferior just because you ‘already slept with an Oscar winner’? I’ve had this discussion with my husband before when I catch him lying to save my feelings- I would rather hear the truth than have my feelings spared. Imagine if he finds out on his own some day.

    I guess I don’t know that I would bring it up again but I certainly wouldn’t lie if he ever brought it up again.

    Post # 19
    Member
    2369 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Is this whole post for gloat purposes?? Lol. Dont tell DH – what’s the point 

     

    Post # 20
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee

    Just tell him you fucked George Clooney.

    Post # 23
    Member
    9680 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @questionforyou:  If he would be hurt, I see no value in telling him. I always ask myself, what do I expect to achieve from this? If there is no good answer, it’s probably not worth it. If he finds out, just say you didn’t feel it was necessary to outline your past sexual history in great detail. I don’t know many people who do that. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    2446 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  oh shoot, you are in the business. it’s unfortunately a bit easier to be gossiped about when you’re in the business yourself. i’m still going to stand by the fact that if it hasn’t gotten out yet, it won’t. i don’t know your husband, only you can ultimately tell how hurt he’d be. it sounds though like it’s really upsetting you, and that’s no way to live.

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    7624 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  I know what you mean. That’s why I personally would tell him, because it would eat away at my conscious. I guess I’m also of the party that it was really none of his business anyways so I think this is kind of a tough situation. If you honestly think it will keep eating away at you I would tell him just to get it off your chest. I think he might be more hurt that you lied than that you slept with someone who won as Oscar.

    ETA: I think your reasoning for not telling him is a little strange. I personally would not be hurt if DH slept with someone (in the past) who achieved something that I wanted to achieve.

    Post # 26
    Member
    794 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    I honestly think I would just never say anything, and say he eventually found out, and he was upset… just say you were avoiding this situation and letting sleeping dogs lie.

    There is no sense in bringing it up. The only time I would EVER bring it up is if the weirdest most opportune time came about (kind of like when he asked you before). 

    I’d say, since you’ve already kind of started to cover it up with your past conversation, I’d keep the secret sleeping. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    6014 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I dunno if the tables were reversed, would you want to know?  

    You only slept with this other guy, it’s not like you guys had a real relationship.  I would probably tell I slept with the guy.   

    Post # 28
    Member
    472 posts
    Helper bee

    …Oof. You lying just made it worse.

     

    I feel like this is something you usually talk about when you first start dating and discussing your past/past partners. 

     

    Since you said you did casually mention it, and he thought nothing of it, you moved past it. 

     

    Now he randomly brought it up. Now, talking about exes is a touch-y subject for a lot of people, which is why being tactful is key. That was your opportunity to be honest about it because he actually came out and asked you about it.

     

    By lying now you made a small issue into a big issue.

     

    If you had gone down the truthful path, yes, he might have felt insecure and it might have caused an argument. But he would have eventually got over it. We’ve all had a past, and this was a short fling, not a long relationship either. That’s easy for someone to reconcile in their mind. 

     

    But you lied. Now if you tell him the truth, his big issue will be you lying, and less about this actor/director that you were worried about in the beginning.

     

     

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Personally, I think its pointless to ever say anything about it. Unless he directly asks you, in that case i wouldn’t lie, but I doubt that would ever happen.

    The topic ‘Would you tell the truth?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors