(Closed) Would you tell the truth?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you admit the truth about a past lover?

    I would tell my SO upfront

    I would wait until a good time to tell my SO (Please explain when that would be).

    I would never tell my SO

    Other

  • Post # 63
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee

    Just don’t tell him! What the hell good is it going to do now, give him a huge complex about it? I wanted to be an astronaut when I was 7, it was like a 1/1,000,000,000 chance it was ever going to happen anyway. If my FH by some odd chance had sex with an astronaut it would have no effect on anything at all. This is such a strange question lol

     

    Post # 64
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  I know you think your Fiance dreams of winning an Oscar is not far off from reality, but I’m going to be frank.

     

    It is. Your Fiance will probably never win an Oscar, so you sleeping with someone who has doesn’t change anything…even if he did win one eventually.

    Post # 65
    Member
    4654 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @questionforyou:  This kind of makes me laugh… I can’t see where it’d come up in conversation. I wouldn’t bring it up but I’d be honest if asked.

    Post # 66
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I wouldnt have lied… if it ever commons up or the moment just seems right, I would bring up who you really had slept with

    Post # 68
    Member
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I would not compromise a good thing. Leave it alone!

    Post # 70
    Member
    3229 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  If it comes up just tell the truth.  I understand it’s a goal of your DH’s.  But I’m sure your not with DH for his potential to win the Oscar nor were you with the mystery man for the same reason.  Tell the truth but be sure to say he was “smaller” than DH.  

    Post # 71
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  I was correcting another poster, not you.

    The Oscars and Golden Globes are two different ball games. Ask Leonardo DiCaprio. Also, are you implying you both were nominated for a Golden Globe?

    I really don’t see, past your prior conversations, why it needs to be brought up. Unless that guy won an Oscar for having sex with you, does it matter?

     

    Post # 73
    Member
    310 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I think you should tell him and be 100% honest.  I would just tell him and move on with your life so it stops eating at you.  If you both love each other, why should it matter who you were with in the past?  

    Post # 74
    Member
    3139 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s not relevant to your current relationship so the only reason you would disclose something like that would be to cause problems and rub it In. Its not your accomplishment aa you didn’t win any kind of award. Do you tell your partner the details of all the accomplishments that all your past lovers achieved? NO! Because it has no purpose other than to be hurtful to someone. 

    Post # 75
    Member
    9948 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My advice would be same whether it involved “famous” individuals or not…

    YOUR PAST… is the past.

    I truly believe that couples should ONLY share sexual history that is necessary to their current relationship (so if you’ve been tested, had a Sexual Disease in the past etc).

    Not swap detailed stories of WHO, WHEN, WHERE, or HOW….

    Too Much Information

    And not required…

    You are entitled to your privacy about past relationships (and so is he)

    And only leads to further (inapprorpriate) Questions, Doubt, Guilt, Jealousy etc.

    And once the “Green Eyed Moster” comes out of the closet, you cannot shove it back in… just doesn’t happen.  Period.

    I think that the post by

    View original reply
    @ksus07: (Reply # 32) is an excellent one… you’re sharing this info with your current Man IS NOT going to be THOUGHTFUL – HELPFUL – INSPIRING – NECESSARY – or KIND to the the relationship that the two of you have NOW

    And NOW trumps THE PAST every time.

    Let it go…

    — — —

    EDIT TO ADD – Take “famous” out of the equation and think of it this way.

    What good would it do to my current Relationship with Mr TTR if I told him that I slept with someone that:

    • Made more money than him
    • Had a fancier car
    • Was a better BBQer
    • etc

    NOTHING… It adds absolutely NADA to our current relationship… it is pretty much a STUPID convo to have (empty bragging on my part on something about MY PAST that has no bearing on our NOW … and I’d do this bragging for what ?)

    I’d say that chances are slim that it will come up in a future situation that you slept with Mr X… (most people just don’t slip that sort of thing into normal convo).

    If it does come up… deal with it then.  But as I say I think chances are slim that you’ll ever have to.

     

    Post # 76
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  You didn’t answer whether you guys were nominated.

    It doesn’t matter at all to you as a couple. Will it matter to your FI? I would guess so. Do I think telling him will accomplish anything? No.

    The topic ‘Would you tell the truth?’ is closed to new replies.

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