(Closed) Would you tell the truth?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you admit the truth about a past lover?

    I would tell my SO upfront

    I would wait until a good time to tell my SO (Please explain when that would be).

    I would never tell my SO

    Other

  • Post # 107
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @questionforyou:  ONLY if he asked, then I would tell the truth. Otherwise, why bring it up? Maybe I wouldn’t say I slept with him, unless asked. DH wouldn’t want to hear that anyways. I’d say, “That producer? Yeah, he made this movie. We went out a couple of times. He was nice/awkward/mean/smooth.”

    Since you already glossed it over, I’d just leave it since it happened before you got together.

    Post # 110
    Member
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

    Post # 111
    Member
    313 posts
    Helper bee

    In my opinion, a name wasn’t necessary the first time you talked about it. But he has since asked more directly and you lied, so I think he deserves the truth. Perhaps a name is still not necessary (water under the bridge – it was a fling before you met your husband), but your relationship needs to be based on honesty, and you should be open and transparent with him. It’ll be tough, and perhaps feelings will get hurt, but in the long run, he’ll likely respect you even more for being honest with him, even when you could clearly get away with the lie. Prayers and good thoughts coming your way, OP 🙂

    Post # 112
    Member
    530 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @MrsWBS: 

    View original reply
    @nerdybird:  Lol

    Hollywood problems.

     

    Post # 113
    Member
    5870 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It depends on the dynamic of your relationship and your expectations (implied or explicit) and how much of your sexual past you two share.

    In my relationship, I would not directly lie about it, but I would not bring it up on my own.  My DH has made it very clear that he wants to know nothing about my history with other guys (sexual, dating, etc) so it wouldn’t seem appropriate.

    Of course, I have a big mouth, so it would be hard for me to keep it to myself.

    Post # 114
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

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    @questionforyou:  nothing will be gained from telling your husband about this week long fling.  If anything, it might make him think less of you.  I’m not trying to be mean, but there are a lot of starlet wannabes in Hollywood that have slept with a lot of successful people to no avail.  Unless this particular producer was a very serious boyfriend, you were just one of many flavors of the month that didn’t make the cut (for a real relationship).  Would you want your husband to view you this way?

    Post # 115
    Member
    770 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think the real issue here is how insecure your SO is. 

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