(Closed) Would you tell your BF if ….

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
2624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t say anything. She’s an adult, she knows he cheated, lied etc. She’s continuing on the relationship with all of that info so that’s her business. I would just be there if/when it falls apart.

 

Post # 18
Member
2608 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I wouldn’t say anything either. I’ve had friends cut everyone out of their lives who said anything over stuff like this so I’ve always kept my opinion to myself. Where it has been difficult for me is now listening to some of my married friends complain and complain about their relationships that were never good to start with anyway. They all admit that they thought their husbands would change after marriage but in most cases that doesn’t happen. I have one friend now who wants her husband to divorce her (she won’t do it – “too non-confrontational”). I mostly just try and support her. I know she would have married him at the time no matter what anyone told her and plenty of people DID tell her not to. Your friend will probably marry this guy no matter what you say if she really wants to.

Post # 19
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@SamanthaLovesJames:  I’ve felt the same as you before, but i don’t think you should say anything. These things are mistakes people have to make themselves

Post # 20
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If she knows of his misdeeds and stays, she has made her bed.

Post # 21
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

@SamanthaLovesJames:  I would have told her how I felt about his cheating/lying a long time ago and then let it go and continued to be a supportive friend. That’s what I have done in the past. 

If you haven’t said anything about it before, I wouldn’t say anything about it now. And if you have said something about it before, then she should know how you feel.

Post # 22
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@Hyperventilate:  +1

View original reply
@SamanthaLovesJames:  If she has told you about his mistreatment before, that was your opprotunity to tell her to get out. She chose to stay. I would only give my opionion at this point if I was asked outright. 

Post # 23
Member
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

No I wouldn’t. A good friend of mine married a guy 5 years ago who a lot of us couldn’t stand and they all let her know that. She cut them all out of her life and is now happily married with a son. Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and sometimes it works out!

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