Would you tell your child if they needed to lose weight?

posted 2 years ago in Fitness
Post # 76
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Beth7210 :  I didn’t think you#d do anything as drastic as that. I’d just like to let you know that even if you feed your kids a healthy diet and are athletic yourself, your kids might turn out different. As a child and young adult I knew exactly what was healthy and what wasn’t. I also knew that all the chocolate made me hurt a little less. And yes, there ARE kids who aren’t keen on sports. I was never opposed to splashing around in the water but given the choice I was always happiest with my nose in a book. In your opinion, something “went wrong”. How about: people are different and have different interests. Same as lots of people who don’t enjoy reading – that’s something I’ll never understand, but I wouldn’t say something “went wrong” with them.

mikaylaauel :  Trust me, your child will know what’s going on. We had NO crap food in our home, which only made it more interesting for me so I spent almost all my pocket money on sweets. My mother DID enrol me in sports and most of the time I hated it, so at some point she couldn’t really make me go anymore. We didn’t even have a TV until I was about 14 and screen time was extremely limited. Will you also limit book time? Please, just make sure your child feels loved and accepted. Sure, there’s no need for a child to get morbidly obese but show your overweight child that their body is ok and worthy of love.

Post # 77
Member
702 posts
Busy bee

woahthisjustgotreal2018 :  I gew up in a very active home without junk or fast food. I was allowed one dessert after dinner and that was it for sweets. I didn’t spend my allowance in junk food like you did. I would buy a bag of hot cheetohs every so often but that was it. I was made to play sports and would go to sports camp in the summer so I wasn’t sitting on my butt all day when school was out. No, I wouldn’t limit book time like you said. But I will also not allow my child to spend hours in front of the TV/computer either. I still eat very healthy and I attibute that to my upbringing. I never developed a taste for fast food so I don’t eat it. I’m 6’1 and 155 pounds but it’s not easy for me to stay that way. It takes will power and exercise. I plan on raising my child in a very similar manner to the way I was raised in terms of food and exercise and hopefully they will develop a healthy relationship with food that doesn’t involve stuffing themselves with sweets or spening hours in front of a TV. 

Post # 78
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

woahthisjustgotreal2018 :  I am well aware that there are different types of kids, but the only excuse for fatness is medical and that’s hardly anyone. I’ve been there, bordering on morbidly obese, but it was because I stopped exercising and ate pure crap! 

 

Almost no one is born to be obese, so why is over half the population overweight? People need to take control. 

 

Anyway I don’t want to get into this argument because I will end up offending someone if I haven’t already. Everyone has a different opinion and that’s fine, I just want to protect my family from being another fat related statistic. I will not bury my own child because I didn’t stop them eating themselves into an early grave.

Post # 79
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

mikaylaauel :  Lots of similarities here. I grew up in a very active household, too. My mum is pushing 70 now, walks the dog for 2h a day and does additional exercise 3-5 times a week. Fast food didn’t even exist in my rural area. We didn’t have a computer until I was about 16 and no TV until I was 14 and even after that I got to watch Simpsons every day (30min) and one evening programme a week. I was also MADE to do sports (swimming, aerobics, Taekwondo) until I was to old for my mum to MAKE me do things I didn’t want to do. 

All those things worked perfectly on my sister and did not work on me at all. And all the pressure to slim down just made me hate myself. I respect that you work hard to maintain your health & body but PLEASE realize that you MIGHT have a child who will not like sports and how might have other problems that lead to overeating. And then telling your child something is wrong with them and their body will not help them. 

Post # 80
Member
2797 posts
Sugar bee

Beth7210 :  Just am honest question- and what if despite your best efforts, your kid still ends up being “fat”? Would they be loved and accepted for who they are? Or will they be pressured to not be “another fat related statistic” at all cost? Just an fyi, anorexia is the most deadly mental disorder and very difficult to treat. It sounds like you are almost angry at kids being fat and have that will never be me attitude. If you project those strong feelings into your kids, that could lead to an eating disorder. Not necessarily anorexia, bulimia or binge eating too. And your worst fear can come true and the child (or young adult) can be “fat”. 

Post # 81
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Beth7210 :  Please consider that psychological problems are mental problems, too. I suffered greatly from the early loss of several family members and from being excluded by my peers because I did not fit in with a rural conservative crowd. Knowing that my mother thought my overweight body (I wasn’t even close to obese back then) was bad and shameful made me want to hide it even more. I exercised even less because I hated my body. I STILL struggle with that because I feel every time I exercise, everybody is staring at me (and I have actually had people taunt me while I was out for a run, or people telling be in the supermarket not to buy bananas because they’re fattening). 

Post # 82
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

What I meant to say was that psychological problems are MEDICAL problems, too.

Post # 83
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

solnishko1186 :  That sounds really rough, and also a bit familiar. Her stuff started up soon after we had a major move when she was 13 and she had to change schools. She also suffers from anxiety and pretty severe depression, including self harm, and I personally feel like a lot of her ED stuff is an extention of the self harm with weight loss as kind of a side benefit.

And honestly, we’re pretty close to that point ourselves, now that she’s 18. We’ve had to put a bottom line in place that she goes to her therapy and dietitian appointments religiously and actively works on her own healing or she has to move out. We can’t do it FOR her, and if she doesn’t want to do the work, I can’t just sit here and watch her self destruct in my own home, as harsh as that sounds. Luckily for all involved, she’s been doing very well with the things she needs to do so far.

Post # 84
Member
702 posts
Busy bee

woahthisjustgotreal2018 :  I would never tell my child something is wrong with their body. I didn’t like sports either I was made to do them. Once I was old enough I stuck with the only sport I liked and ditched the others. There are other ways to make your kid be active that don’t involve organized sports. Sure I MAY have a child that doesn’t like sports but that doesn’t mean I am going to allow them to be inactive. They can find something active that they do like/tolerate and do that. If there are other “problems” as you say that lead to overeating I would get those “problems” addressed. The main problem would be something psychological and I have no issue with my kid seeing a therapist – both my parents are psychologists so I don’t have a stigma about mental health professionals. Children are not meant to be overweight so if my child is we will figure out how to address the issue without making him/her feel bad about their body. IF a child is overweight it is mostly due to their diet and their diet is something I control until they become old enough to make food choices on their own. I will teach my child about food the same way I was taught – moderation. If they are having problems with overeating I will address those problems because emotioanal eating is not a healthy coping skill. 

Post # 85
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

mikaylaauel :  See, that is something that the USA does SO MUCH better than Germany. When I grew up in the 90s and early 00s, child psychologists did exist but people only got professional help in the worst cases. Even today, there is so much stigma there. I’ll never understand why people don’t see that a mind that has been injured needs the same help as a leg or arm that has been injured.

My mum DID try to control what I ate but couldn’t have possibly watched me every second of the day. Kids do go to school, after all, or spend time with friends or alone while parents work or do chores. I always found ways to eat in secret. My mum and my sister excel at eating moderately. So did all my friends at school, by the way. I was the only one who didn’t. And really, it sucked when my mum tried to make my underweight sister eat more and told me “You’re not hungry anymore” when I wanted seconds. And I’m not talking cake-seconds, I’m talking chicken and veg seconds.

And as I said, I was also kept active – organised sport, walking the dog, riding my bike to see friends. But trust me, when you make your kid do sports they don’t like, they’ll know pretty soon why you’re making them to sports. So even if you don’t spell it out for them, they’ll know.

 

I honestly hope you won’t have to face these problems with your kids. I know it’s likely I will have to face them with mine. I’ll try my best to find the balance between doing fun activities, eating mostly healthy but also letting my kids know that all bodies deserve love equally.

Post # 86
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee

Seriously side eyeing a few of these responses. 

I grew up with a father who basically fat shamed me most of my young life. I was the oldest in my class, tall and fat so I always felt so out of place and it pains me to think of how much I suffered then as a little girl.

If you have a child on the verge of being a bit too big for their health, theres no need to point it out, period. Be the adult, adopt a healthy lifestyle as a family and encourage exercise and outdoor activities. Parents control the food on the table for the most part. The occasional cookie won’t add 20 pounds to your kid all of a sudden. Be honest about your parenting and come from a place of love.

 

Post # 87
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

Just an FYI, I do consider psychological problems medical problems, since I have a few myself! 

 

And like i said, I will never call my child fat. There’s no need, if she’s fat it would be my fault, but since I’m not going to let that happen to the best of my ability there will be no need for it anyway!

i agree with chocolateplease, itsthe parents fault if the child is fat. I’m not talking about never letting them have anything, just the moderation part of it. And if necessary I can tell them about clogged arteries and heart attacks, diabetes and joint pain (NOT weight) from the over consumption of junk food.

Post # 88
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

catt :  it won’t…

i eat really healthy, and have always been small. My youngest is also very skinny. My oldest child has weight issues. 

We have a gym in our house. She has played sports for years. We have an incredibly large yard with walking trails through the woods and next to a creek, so very picturesque. We are always on the go.

my son will choose healthy snacks like a clementine. My daughter will buy chips and combos. And sure of be the food police, she makes her own decisions. I model healthy eating. She still chooses to eat what she wants.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors