(Closed) Would you tell your SO if you cheated?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you tell your SO if you cheated?
    Yes : (84 votes)
    49 %
    No : (43 votes)
    25 %
    Maybe : (35 votes)
    20 %
    Other : (11 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 33
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee

    @ttn133:

    I didn’t mean my comment against you.  I hope you didn’t take it too personally.  If I hurt feelings, please forgive me. 

    I think I summarized it best with the comment “If you kill my mom, will you promise to tell me?” “Sure thing dear…gotta stay honorable and decent.”

    I hope this gets my point across.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1270 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    hmmmm this is so hard for me to answer because i could never, ever, ever picture myself cheating on my Fiance. it’s like, almost impossible for me to think about it!

    Post # 35
    Member
    1986 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @ttn133: I think it’s an interesting and valid question/topic 🙂

    Post # 37
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Socrates: Don’t let it happen in the first place.

    Shit happens. That’s not what the OP was asking. She was asking if it DID happen, what would you do?

    Post # 38
    Member
    1536 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Socrates: I think in this type of circumstance I would want to at least have my honor behind me if nothing else. Just because you did one wrong thing doesn’t mean you have to send the rest of your life to hell in a handbasket. The questions is IF. I don’t think anyone here is condoning cheating, I know I certainly am not. We’re all just saying that we respect our SO enough to have the courage to step up and admit we were wrong. I think that’s the point here.

    Post # 39
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I voted other. I don’t think I could ever cheat. I don’t understand why and how people cheat. I hope I’m not ever in the situation where I have to make this difficult decision.

    Post # 40
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    To put it simply, there are too many unknowns to know at this point. I would assume I would, but does that mean there are situations that exist where I wouldnt?  Probably- although I am not sure what they are.  

    Maybe if I felt like we were a lost cause and I was really really drunk (still doesnt make it right, but does impair judgement)… then maybe I wouldnt tell him if we ended up working things out and that would only set us back several steps…  

    Unless it happens I dont know either way 100%.  

    Post # 40
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    dbl post

    Post # 41
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee

    @TinyTina:

    Shix happens is not a good approach unless you tell me that somehow the person has no control of him/herself when drunk and the person was drunk at the time and no sobor must admit.  Otherwise, i really don’t get that “Shix happens” attitude.  lol  “Shix better not happen.”  lol

    @mrs.peters.to.be

    I’d see no honor in it at all.  To me it is like killing the relationship.  I guess you people are just more understanding than I am.  lol  That’s fine. 

    To me honor is in the fidelity.  I don’t want to sound melodramatic or like I would be someone who would go crazy and exact vengence if I was cheated on because I wouldn’t…but for me, I would sooner die than cheat.  I just wouldn’t do it.  It’s not that big of a commitment…just like I can tell you I wouldn’t murder somebody (no matter how the person made me feel) I can tell you I wouldn’t cheat.  

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee

    I would absolutely admit to cheating. It’s funny, even when I checked the ‘yes’ box in the poll, I got a weird feeling, a strong feeling. I have VERY strong feelings about cheating–I think it’s the cardinal sin in a relationship. I’ve even had dreams where I’ve cheated and in the dream I was devastated! I felt absolutely sick with myself and shameful. All I wanted to do was tell my SO in the dream. I was also scared shitless that I would lose him. I have no idea why I cheated in the dream, it just happened, but I hated myself for allowing it to happen. It really made me sick and angry, to the point I woke up sick and angry. So yes, guilt would kill me. The guilt alone would devastate me and ruin the relationship. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee

    I would tell him.

    I don’t think telling your SO you cheated is just a means to offlead the guilt. I think you should have enough respect for that person to be honest and I think they deserve to have the right to choose whether they want to be with you still or if they want to leave the relationship. By not telling, you have made the choice for him and made him stay with you. I don’t think anyone is in a position to make a decision for another person

    Post # 44
    Member
    6392 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would definitely tell him. Fiance has said before that if I cheated on him, he would probably stay with me. No offense to anyone who has, but I don’t think I could cheat and stay in a marriage, whether or not he knew about it. The guilt would just be overwhelming…

    I can’t see Fiance ever cheating, but if he did, I would want to know.

    Post # 45
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    Better to hear it from me than hear it through the grapevine. 

    The topic ‘Would you tell your SO if you cheated?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors